Independent physics is dying

[physics23]

QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 09:49 AM)

"I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY?  Doesn't she do this too?  Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too

If she does, I haven't noticed. She's sort of French aristocracy while I'm a savage nature boy type.

 

Mmm, yes, I'm well aware of the rewards - her French stews are delicious!

 

QUOTE (Alsgalpal)

Phys, there are some things that need to go, when you have a relationship, but you need to just be yourself. She should accept you as you are, and not try to change you. I am not very good with words, but I think you get what I am trying to say. There are things that she is probably giving up too, but they may be bad habits. I don't fart in front of anyone at all, (I don't even like to do it in front of myself) but that is just common courtesy. She should accept that you love Rush, and that you enjoy your time alone, we all need it from time to time. Its healthy for the relationship. Its a scary thing, to move in with someone. I think you are doing a brave thing.    So, please, just be the kewl person you are, and don't let the relationship Phys take over the real Phys. Ok??? {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

So basically you're saying, lose the obscene flatus and eructation, but keep the rest. That sounds like a compromise I can live with.

 

QUOTE (sullysue)

Physics, This is something new for you. It's a big step, so of course you have reservations. The best advise I can give you is to take it as it comes. Don't take it too seriously. Not yet, anyway. You're young, and it's possible that this won't be the last serious relationship you have. If this girl really cares about you, she will accept you warts and all. (Farts, burps, warts and all!    ) That goes both ways, however. You can't expect that she won't have some annoying habits or likes and dislikes. Most importantly, don't keep your concerns to yourself. The worst thing you could do would be to fume over something that's annoying you without giving her the benefit of being aware of it. I am NOT the expert on healthy relationships. Just a few words of wisdom from someone who's been there.  -SS p.s. If she breaks your heart, she has several New World Women to answer to.    Good luck!

You're right, it's important to freely share all that's irking you in your partner's behavior and to accept one another's individuality.

I don't feel there's any danger she'll break my heart at this point. It may have been better had I said this from the outset, but I don't think this is a "serious" relationship in the sense of the feelings involved. I don't feel it is, anyway; I can tell it's different for her.

 

QUOTE (rickyrob)

These are some sacrifices you have to make in a relationship. Remember that you are now a 'partnership', and that going off doing your own thing all the time is not on any more. This is where most relationships fail....a lack of understanding of each-other's needs and an existence in each other's company, where you would be just as well living in different places. I can't give you much advice, because a lot of this you will have to learn yourself and experience of a relationship(s) will dictate how you view life in the future. A marriage is about being with each other, compromising, communicating and doing things together...not all the time, but there has to be something, or else it will just fizzle out into nothing and before you know it, its all over.....happened to me twice in the last 21 years. You really need to talk to her, and if neither of you can find a solution to the problem - well

Ok, I see I misled you all. The fact that we're living together is not an indication that we're considering marriage or anything. The circumstances just made cohabitation a more convenient arrangement. And the point of my inquiry was to get a sense for how others cope with differences in personality and habit when they're together, since for me this is a new and somewhat experimental experience.

 

QUOTE (GhostGirl)

You have to maintain your own soul. Bottom line. You sacrifice that (even for the sake of a relationship that seems promising) and you're done for, to put it bluntly. Living with someone else necessitates a few adjustments out of courtesy, but also includes accepting the person for who they are, and sometimes you just gotta blast Rush.

I agree with your Bottom Line.

 

 

QUOTE (Digital_Man)

It may be a lot different thanwhat you are used to but...That is why they call it "sharing" your life with someone. If she is the right woman none of the things you listed will really bother you. When it is right, you don't feel you are giving things up or losing them. When it is right none of these things matter, it works itself out....

And if the things I listed do bother me, can I safely assume she's not the right woman for me?

 

QUOTE (yyzena)

Sweetheart ... only YOU can make the right decision, but please keep this in mind ... *Our individual needs change many times throughout the course of our lifetimes ... it takes a VERY special person to keep up with them and not give up when something better (or easier) comes along. *(I know I'm way ahead of you here, but) Please, please, please, do not decide to have children just because your significant other thinks 'it's the right thing to do'. You, not only as part of a couple, but as an individual person, have to be certain you want children as part of your life. *There are many things that are great about having a relationship, but there are just as many great things about being single. I don't know how old you are, dear, but my advice to you and anyone would be ... Date & have fun, but don't get married till 40. Good luck, friend!

So as I've attempted to make clear, children are the furthest thing from our minds at this juncture. But don't get married 'til 40? No, I'm happy I have parents who are 25 years my senior. Maybe if you could be more specific as to why you think that...

 

QUOTE (Necromancer)

I got married at twenty, so i didn't have a normal bachelorhood. I went into a mature relationship at an immature age. We had four kids and it lasted a pretty wonderful 12 years. Then I was a bachelor as an adult for the first time in my life and that lasted for about five years. Then i met my CJ and we moved in together and I had the first real relationship of my life as an adult. Yeah, i had gotten used to living alone and doing what i wanted, but giving up burping and farting is easy when you compare it to the benefits of a healthy loving relationship. So commitment physics will have as much of a good life as independent physics. Work on the blasting your Rush tunes though. That could be a dealbreaker. LOL. Oh... and get some BEANO.

I've been following your posts around somewhat, and you're a curious character. I've been wondering about your wife for a while, but don't consider it appropriate to approach you with questions of so personal a nature. I will, however, present this question to you:

You got involved in a relationship at an early and immature age. It lasted 12 years and bore you four kids, for which you're endlessly grateful. Even though that relationship ended and it's only now that you've met your Special Someone, would you discourage another from following the path you walked down?

 

QUOTE (Grandpa_Grizz)

I hate being in a relationship, and avoid it at all costs.  Big pain in the rear.

 

QUOTE (ES-335)

It is all part of growing ... as a person and couple ... if it doesn't work for the couple thing ... in the long run it will help you Physics!!

So what you're saying is, Just take it easy, and flow with it? That's usually what I do in life.

Doesn't always work.

[rickyrob]

Physi, you are bound to lose your independednce if you are living with someone, whoever it is, be it girlfriend, a mate sharing a flat, or part of a group of people in the same house....by definition. The problem is that in a bf/gf situation there is more pressure on you to 'behave', so-to-speak.

 

Take things easy, and you will be fine. You are probably just getting used to each other right now. Everything will settle out as time passes.

[barney_rebel]

I've lived with Mrs. Rebel since 1995, (1993 if you count a school rez).

 

Enjoy it man - it's cool. Esp if she can do the laundry (huge plus).

[Necromancer]

QUOTE (Necromancer)

I got married at twenty, so i didn't have a normal bachelorhood. I went into a mature relationship at an immature age. We had four kids and it lasted a pretty wonderful 12 years. Then I was a bachelor as an adult for the first time in my life and that lasted for about five years. Then i met my CJ and we moved in together and I had the first real relationship of my life as an adult. Yeah, i had gotten used to living alone and doing what i wanted, but giving up burping and farting is easy when you compare it to the benefits of a healthy loving relationship. So commitment physics will have as much of a good life as independent physics. Work on the blasting your Rush tunes though. That could be a dealbreaker. LOL. Oh... and get some BEANO.

 

 

I've been following your posts around somewhat, and you're a curious character. I've been wondering about your wife for a while, but don't consider it appropriate to approach you with questions of so personal a nature. I will, however, present this question to you:

You got involved in a relationship at an early and immature age. It lasted 12 years and bore you four kids, for which you're endlessly grateful. Even though that relationship ended and it's only now that you've met your Special Someone, would you discourage another from following the path you walked down?

 

Good question. I don't know. This is definitely something to think about. First... never worry about asking any questions of me. i'm willing to talk about anything. Cheap therapy. LOL. So i have to try to go back in time and weigh the pros and cons of it. What kind of person would i have been had i chose not to do what i did... hard to say, but i don't think i lost out on much. I was in college and going back, but i was failing miserably at that. All i wanted to do was party. I was forced to become an adult quicker and i think this saved me from being a complete loser, y'know? But the way it ended, one of those things where she had it put in her head that she gave up her youth and everything and she could do better, so she just gave in to that and our minor problems became more than she could bear. Well that sucked, so it was a long time before i was anywhere near over it. In some ways... i'm still not. I'm loaded with insecurities over it and that has had repercussions in my relationship with CJ, no doubt. Okay... so i've done my thinking out loud here... again... cheap therapy. The question is would i advise anyone to follow that same path. Yes. The good far outweighs any personal pain i suffered. And all our hardships make us grow and i'm ten times the man i was now, and CJ gets to reap that reward. yeah... there's insecurities, but i don't blame my ex for everything. The minor stuff still added up and i vow to never make those mistakes again with CJ. The biggest one was just taking my life and my wife for granted. I never thought that in one day, it could all change. One minute you're on top of the world, and all the little shit you thought was minor has been eating away at that world and BAM... you crash. I'll never let that happen again. But if anyone was in my situation, i'd have to tell them to go for it if that's what they truley wanted to do. If they have doubts to the point that they are asking for advice... then that should tell them something. No one could tell me anything. I knew i wanted her and i knew i wanted to be a REAL father. So i didn't have to ask any advice. Wow... the thought of the magic DO OVER card though... it makes you wonder huh? LOL