Neil was driving to the gig then he saw Geddy drinking milk from Alex's nipples. Neil threw up a pint of Macallan and puke splashed all over himself.
Alex was shocked! And Geddy was still drinking milk because he was not really Geddy. Alex realized this and panicked. If Geddyfan13 was there Alex would run into his arms and tell what deep, dark secret Neil was hiding. It had to be that Neil had been a robot but was humanized only while offstage. However, while on stage, Subdivided and synthetic!!
Neil woke up and immediately saw his BMW motorcycle on fire. He grabbed his hose and tried to extinguish the flaming bike. Suddenly, Alex screamed LOOK OUT! ROLL THE BONES!
HOLD THE FIRE! And let's go eat some soup because Howard Ungerleider brought some crackers. Not just any dry, stale crackers... dry FRESH crackers!!
Of course, Geddy had always wanted a rap album with Alex playing some African bongos and the spoons. So they decided to bathe Neil in milk. Meanwhile, Geddyfan13 was trying to convince Geddy to sit still and stop spitting on random people. Geddy said, "I'm orally fixated, ok!" Smiling, Neil begins snorting Jell-o shots and gurgling tequila.
Geddyfan13 is having intense flashbacks about eating Reddi-Wip and drinking the sour milk that The Analog Kid flew by night. Wow, that's random, remarked Neil, seeing what just happened. Alex started gyrating because Janie wanted to suck face with him.
Disco, like Janie, sucked with Force Ten. And may the smile on Alex's face never fade. Expunged of his trousers, Alex was in the middle between Janie and Geddyfan13's milk jug thinking, "I'm thirsty, half naked and hot for Janie." In walked Geddy with an intrauterine in his nose. The operation was "'snot' very pretty," joked Geddy. Meanwhile, Neil's pet lizard wanted to ride to the gig in Geddy's pants and then he jumped with surprise into Janie's bra. And found a reason to live; whereas before, he couldn't give a New World Man What You're Doing. Marathonist, Rush's top fan (besides MMCXII!!) was lounging around before the concert in granny panties. Wondering where his lizard was now, hopefully not in anyone's undergarments, Neil reached for his Kama Sutra book so he could make Marathonist scream at the top of her lungs. "Argh! Earplugs, please!" Then in astonishment Neil's lizard jumped quickly into the glass of Macallan Alex was balancing on his man-part. Now that's talent requiring a sizeable waste of time and a huge investment of valuable reptile balancing apparatii to figure out how to manipulate ones man-bits accordingly. One would think Alex's big advantage might result from excessive Viagra consumption but however, he doesn't need it.
Since Geddy's cheeks were turning red from all the exertion from lifting his very large banana of love every time Marathonist sang, "Afternoon Delight." So after guzzling Shasta with unbridled lust and avarice, Geddy turned his attention to Janie, who was already exhausted after her romp with Alex, and said, "let's go get some doughnuts, the jelly kind. Because I have a deathwish." Actually... Isn't that obvious? GeddysMullet said her spleen was sore. "THEN STOP BARFING!"
Obviously, Janie and Marathonist were having feelings for MMCXII because they had been slipped GHB. But MMCXII didn't do it! Freewill made the women cringe at the thought of having to sing while standing on top yaoi's shrine dedicated to Neil and several butcher's aprons drenched in ouzo. Quite a challenge since mass hysteria had taken hold of them angels. It was then that Alex realized Janie was going to see her chicken in law and Neil's lizard battle it out on the stage! Everyone's bet was on the chicken since Neil's lizard was drunk from drinking FunkyColdMedina yesterday.
But however, the chicken's beak was too big for the suggested application. Neil scheduled a major Rush tour with the lizard to raise funds for herpes research. Gleamingalloyaircar81 suddenly saw everyone dry-heaving enthusiastically because Natural Science was on repeat. Anyone who thinks Neil's love of BMW demonstrates an unnatural desire for chocolate-covered pizza is mistaken. What Neil really loves is too scandalous for anyone under 65 and republican. Yes, it's true. Neil collects Q-tips. It's an obsession. Neil also suffers from a rare taste for flavored catnip chew toys and clawing furniture. Who knew? Neil saught help but Geddyfan13 thought he could subdue Neil by putting milk in his whisky. BIG MISTAKE! It made Neil frolic and polka dance! That was frightening! Yet oddly enticing.
When GeddysMullet saw Alex happily tap-dancing she told him his man-bits were swinging impressively low and he needed to get some supportive undergarments, and then Alex, smiling, said, "TA-DAAAA!"
Alex's display of immodesty forced Geddy to rethink his plan of showing GeddysMullet his special friend. For you see, Geddy's pants were tightening and tightening, because he was staring fixedly at pictures of Ireland. There were sheep and milkmaids holding flagons of chowder. "That's one helluva big flock of Seagulls record collection," he began, "But me so horny even the sheep are feeling fuzzy." Geddy liked fuzzy, fluffy, warm buns. But he didn't care much for fuzzy navels on milkmaids. He preferred his own navel. Which is convenient. Even Neil occasionally sniffed the wax commonly found in record-pressing plants because it smelled sickeningly sweet.
When their accordion shipment arrived, Ray Daniels handed out lederhosen which The Boyz doused in napalm and wrapped around Neil's drum riser. Then they decided to hang mellophones from Neil's belltree and have midgets blow them incessantly. Geddy started coloring the midgets' hair and braiding it in French braids. Hair-stylist Geddy loved grooming people and doing their wardrobe makeovers, because, frankly, who doesn't?!? "The show must... ...be made of... ...munchkins and chickens!"
'The King of Spades isn't the card to play, Jack!' Neil said. Alex was complaining that Janie hadn't delt him a fair share of chicken wings, but Janie always keeps Dirk and Pratt in a special place in her kitchen pantry. It lacked the lustre of a single, perfect cocktail weenie roast. That would be Vienna sausages with a dash of Spanish fly and several butcher's aprons. Alex's chaps were not revealing enough. "More Buns!" shouted Neil, with fervor. Scared, shocked, Geddy leapt into the tub to hide. There, he found a HUGE lobster eyeing his nethers. "Dastardly crustacean! Leave That Thing Alone!"
Alex started swinging the llama's suitcases at the shellfish. This was getting on "Crusty's" nerves; so, they decided they'd boil it with a little wine and have naked midget clowns serve it with blanched spinach and a nice Chianti. Hannibal Lechter rolled out of bed and licked the stamps that were supposed to go on Alex's nipples.
How much further will this insanity progress before Neil joins TRF and hits on Marathonist, who's libido rivaled ants on speed, fast and tiny! Only Alex knows who will win Neil and Geddy's man parts, though. Terry Brown showed off his knitted purple banana hammock for Alex who promptly whipped out an engorged banana. Everyone was impressed by its size, but wondered what Janie would say to Alex when he stuffed it lengthwise down his friend's new stocking.
Then GeddysMullet grabbed Geddy's hairbrush and began stroking Alex's fluffy chest hair. Then Geddy grabbed a sawed-off shotgun, cocked it, and promptly forgot what the TRF address was used for. Then Neil yelled, "Leave my thing ON THE FRIDGE! It has directions to the best barbecue joint in the city of New Orleans. Geddy loves a good pig roast with lots of succulent Snow Dog juice
