chaotica

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Apr 9 2006, 07:42 PM) QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Apr 9 2006, 04:20 PM)QUOTE (dead burger dave @ Apr 9 2006, 04:08 PM)After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine.... 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine..... 8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... Amen! I bet Carrie Nuttall, Charlene and Nancy Young don't complain That's why Neil wrote: Know your place in life Is where you want to be or Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose If only I could get into the mind of Neil Peart (or the shoes of Carrie Nuttall ) Amen!!

You know that I would've gone with you but I got overruled again Hang in there... I will harass you as usual... because I know you'll be fine then when your done we'll get drunk together and laugh about this... shall we set the date now? what shall it be? the list is too long... wine, southern comfort....buttershots we have a winner love missy

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Apr 9 2006, 09:32 PM) Heres Mikey EyeBallin what Strawberry to Grab 1st http://img432.imageshack.us/img432/8149/p10101691mn.jpg Ant Moves in For The Kill http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/8766/p10101726xo.jpg save me a strawberry... that cake looks mmmmmmm

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear." SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices! a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hand s her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" FOURTH DEGREE A blonde wa s bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde as k her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware." SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." Ok. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today!!!

oh my

You would miss me if I was gone.... and I would miss you with every bullet so far all kidding as side you keep me strong and I keep you strong just don't hold me hand for no needles and I ain't holding you ... the least time I did that I ended up getting suck with the needle... so no thanks

QUOTE (blonde77th @ Mar 31 2006, 10:04 AM) Ok i am but i still say so true & Let the man have the 1st child and i bet NO family would have over 2 lovely babies in it I would give anything to see this 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and no drugs.... no epidurals or pain meds or anything ... then let me see how far they get

QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Apr 2 2006, 10:05 PM) I enjoy this thread, there should be a Rush dating site thats what the lurve threads are about

QUOTE (blonde77th @ Apr 3 2006, 10:29 AM) yes we are strong !!! We can bring home the Bacon & fry it too One day at a time i say thanks my Pest for seeing this your welcome.... by the way this dowsn't change the fact that your a pain in my a**

The boob smasher as you put it is aweful but I'm glad you went through with it. i've had both the ultra sound done, mamogram and a biopsy.... I was 18 when they found my first lump and did the whole thing ... results were that it was extra calcium ... I was on calcium tablets since I am lactose intolerate and once I was taken off the tablets/ any extra calcium I've been fine till I stopped breast feeding for my oldest and that one went away on its own... no more since then as for the biopsy it will hurt as with most test but it will go away just like when you get a shot... I am there for you to hold your hand and to cry with but this is something for you to do. YOu have grandchildren and children who love you and would miss you and many friends that would too. So stay strong and hang in there we are women and we are strong if not by ourselves than together .... we unite with hug and prayers

QUOTE (Barney's Alter @ Apr 2 2006, 07:41 PM) Men's Lenses She is like the world to me Eyes blue like the clear waters of a tropical beach Her personality - Promising How I perceived it to be Her face glows brightness - Like the morning sun Her beauty - is everything to me how everything should be Most of all What I love about her most are her tits -B. Lee

QUOTE (blonde77th @ Mar 28 2006, 10:22 PM) I admit i have had 2 accidents my fault lol but 3 were not but the best 1 i did was driving down a icy road and couldn't stop and kissed the butt end of a semi Man was that scary but not charged thank god Now really ... you decided to park your little escort in the back end of a semi while driving down the road... well really you were under the semi... come on show the pics ... I know you have them if anyone has a bumper sticker that states " no parking" and it is on the back bumper of a semi truck ... let me know

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Mar 29 2006, 06:53 AM) One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

What everybody sleeping early tonight?

QUOTE (sundog @ Aug 16 2005, 09:08 PM) Hair Removal? *Warning - Strong language! * This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time - my throat is killing me from laughing and my eyes are all red from crying with laughter. One of women's dilemmas...Getting rid of unwanted hair-- One woman's story All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal: the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now The Wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home, fixed dinner for my family and got everyone settled for the night. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet. I made sure no one would need me and I could head for the bathroom in peace. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or wherever). No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girliest of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works. You'd think. So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the wax. I go one better. I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! So with my next wax strip, I'll move north. After checking on my beloved family again, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right ass cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.) I inhale deeply. I brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP!! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed. Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy -- my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist. But why is there no hair on it? Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the strip? Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see hair -- the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout. Nooooooo!! I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake -- up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet. I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Ass? Sealed shut. A little voice in my head says, "I hope you don't have to shit anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next. Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in. The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? Wrong. I get in the tub -- the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment -- and I sit. Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax. So now I'm stuck in the tub -- literally! I call my friend, Liz, because she once dropped out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's never good to start a conversation with "So my ass and vagina are stuck to the tub." She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the ass. "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now. I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet if you tell them the truth." While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girlie goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off! In the middle of the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to Other subjects!) I find the lotion provided with the wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations from Liz and we hang up. I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that point anyway. I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. Never know when a moustache might start to come in. Tonight, I attempt hair dying. And you wonder where Rye Rye got his imagination from...hint the tattoos

this is Petrie(cat) and Taffy(dog) http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/F089.jpg Petrie http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/F090.jpg Taffy http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/F091.jpg Sandy http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/00070.jpg May they all rest in piece Sandy was my first dog got him when I was 2yr this was his last day I was 16 then. Petrie, I got for my sweet sixteen birthday Taffy we picked out from his birth mom and he was born in June of 2000

Oh we will eat fried fish from a resaurant like pat n hanks but its only halibut and battered and fried

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Mar 22 2006, 11:21 PM) QUOTE (chaotica @ Mar 22 2006, 06:30 PM) QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 22 2006, 04:58 PM) It would have been a tourniment winner on most days, 27" which is the maximum size that you can keep in Florida. ( actually had to squish him to keep him under 27", but evidence disappeared quickly) My hubby would be proud... sorry I don't eat that He can't wait to take the boys fishing What, none of the girls in your family eat fish??? I won't got there But I guess that will be something for the boys to do together to get that male bonding thing in... I'll go camping and keep the cite up you guys fish while i read a book or go swimming... sound like a plan?

QUOTE (rushgoober @ Mar 18 2006, 11:49 AM) Good MORNING everyone!!! Anyone care for a lovely chat? I'll try not to bite... HARD http://www.officiallylucy.com/images/Austin%20Powers.jpg just don't leave teeth marks ... hubby would question and well I don't want to tell

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 22 2006, 04:58 PM) It would have been a tourniment winner on most days, 27" which is the maximum size that you can keep in Florida. ( actually had to squish him to keep him under 27", but evidence disappeared quickly) My hubby would be proud... sorry I don't eat that He can't wait to take the boys fishing

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Mar 9 2006, 10:10 AM) QUOTE (chaotica @ Mar 8 2006, 10:07 PM) Thanks GG I've got one that is hilarious... he's hungry and I am nursing.... he saw them and won't let go of my shirt and was drooling and talking to them like they should go to him instead of him go to them http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/DSC00042.jpg I see them... http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f301/Choatica123/DSC00043.jpg Just givem to me I just roared.... it just those moments that are precious That is SO precious. When my oldest was about 10 months old and still nursing he used to wait for me to get to my mom's to pick him up after work, and he'd run over to the couch (he started walking at 8 months) and pat the couch like, "Come on, Mama...time for a snack." funny when my hubby comes home from school he's doin the same thing... five days without me then he home for two.... yup he's doin the same thing

QUOTE (sundog @ Mar 9 2006, 09:19 AM) QUOTE (chaotica @ Mar 9 2006, 09:06 AM) QUOTE (whitey @ Mar 9 2006, 06:38 AM) You should know that men think with their stomachs. Everything good in life should involve eating something. Anyhow, that's a great looking kid you got there. Thank you!! I love his dimples which in this pic you can't see but they're amazing course I am partial/byass when it comes to my kids.... but they both are lookers... they must get it from sundog not me. well he don't get his looks from me.... and they say the looks always comes from a family member.... "ohh so and so looks like uncle so and so"

QUOTE (whitey @ Mar 9 2006, 06:38 AM) You should know that men think with their stomachs. Everything good in life should involve eating something. Anyhow, that's a great looking kid you got there. Thank you!! I love his dimples which in this pic you can't see but they're amazing course I am partial/byass when it comes to my kids.... but they both are lookers... they must get it from sundog not me.

QUOTE (Arndrake @ Mar 9 2006, 08:06 AM) heh, a one year old does that, it's cute. a 25 year old does it, it's 1-2 for sexual misconduct