QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Oct 14 2010, 02:26 PM) Having been fairly young when I had my son (21, and from a previous relationship) I have to admit that I had NEVER gone anywhere by myself since he had been born...until this last summer. I went to three Rush concerts by myself and made mini-vacations out of them (2 or three days at a time is all). I have to say that it was AMAZING! So liberating to get AWAY from everything and have time to myself. It was actually a step in the right direction for my marriage. We had been fighting like you wouldn't believe, and I had actually been drinking heavily to cope (read: NOT GOOD!). But, since I had that time to myself, I feel that some of the tension has been released (not all, but some) and I have found myself not wanting to drink hardly at all (read: VERY GOOD!). Sure, we still have problems...SO many problems...that need to be resolved, but it was great to get out and clear my head, have some time to myself without a husband and kid in tow. Believe me, I didn't go out and get crazy. In fact, one of those weekends was in Vegas, and I think the craziest that I got was I put $20 in a slot machine, then had a couple glasses of wine with dinner then went back to my hotel room.
It wasn't what I was doing, it was the fact that I was doing it alone. It was great.
Ok, what's the point of this? Sounds like your wife feels obligated to those kids to be around 24/7. I understand this, as I feel the same way about my son, but the truth of the matter is that she might need some "decompression" time...some time to herself...without having to worry about kids and work and booster packets and making dinner and doing laundry. Men sometimes don't understand everything that goes into a woman's day, therefore they are confused when sex starts taking a back seat to things like booster packets. That's never all that is going on, but i know that my husband will see things like that...like "oh, you are busy doing laundry, so now the laundry is more important than being with me."
It's everything, wrapped up in a neat little package called being a wife and a mother. Suggest that she take a weekend to herself...get out of town. Hell, she might not even have to leave town...just get her a weekend spa package or a nice hotel room, then don't tell your kids where she is and make her turn off her cell phone.
Just a suggestion. It worked WONDERS for me. I came back with a fresh perspective on things, and I actually WANTED to be home and around my husband again.
Ok, you seem to have excellent self insight and I just want to know how much you charge per hour to disect my brain and figure out what's up with me lol.... I sure could use it!
