Pope Francis latest epic moment

[Lorraine]

Someone told me his favorite Rush song is Superconductor, but I have not been able to verify it.

 

Perhaps the YBG can scrape up the funds to send me on a fact finding mission to the Vatican?

[Lorraine]

Being myself Italian, I just wish that it were a science fiction movie trailer.....

If St. Charles Borromeo had known Rush, he'd be a fan for sure. Don't you agree?

[Tombstone Mountain]

The pope is a Rush fan?? Seriously??

Well, there's many here who are under the impression this is common knowledge. Apparently real, stone cold news is hard to come by where you live. Here it is--proof:

 

 

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder

Going Papal Edition

11.24.13

Vatican City

 

Neverland Ranch is used to having vigils outside its gates. Back in the day it was a magnet for creepiness and hero worship. Even when Michael Jackson was alive, fans would show up to light a candle in honor of their beloved “Moonwalker”. Today, the Yukon Blade Grinder goes straight to the top in terms of vigils, votive candles, and the ultimate show of Vapor Trails support.

 

With the elements of the story changing every day for the worse, a cheerful outcome seems impossible regarding the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. Containing the most bizarre of cultic practices involving cannibalism, stone formations, and oppressed women on animals, one normally turns away from such evil. Not this media monolith! The Yukon Blade Grinder is fresh from an enthralling two-day interview with the Seven Cities of Gold dancers, and now ready to get back in the game to confront reality.

 

Now dear readers, the story has reached spiritual heights. Truth be told after spending time with the Seven Cities of Gold dancers, the YBG could use a little forgiveness.

 

Rarified Air

 

In most instances when dealing with the Yukon Blade Grinder, people adapt accordingly for a chance to share their story. However, when dealing with the most recognized living religious figure in the solar system, the Grinder will always make an exception.

 

Summoned to Vatican City by our German and Italian desks, the Yukon Blade Grinder is ready to report the news. Hundreds of thousands crowded St. Peter’s square, and waited for the word. Countless beach balls flew over the boisterous crowd. Flags from every corner of the globe were waving in anticipation of the day’s message. Even soccer anthems permeated the air. Spectacles become markers in history, always in the corner of our collective memories crying out “I was here” when Pope Francis brought the wood to Rush Goober. The Blade Grinder was on the scene as it happened.

 

The Seven Deadly Sins Revisited

 

Known as the “Peppy Pontiff”, Pope Francis has great warmth exuding from his soul. He’s a real people person. He loves his job and always ready to get out amongst the folks. As the doors opened from the papal balcony, he made his grand entrance. The crowd erupted into a frenzy, showing the love to the their leader. Calming the crowd the Pope issued the cue for the sounds of ringing church and tubular bells. It sounded awfully familiar.

 

“Today, I come to you with a message from the peak of Mt. Nerd. Listen well, my friends!” The Pope spoke with authority, then compassion.

 

“To the men who hold high places—you must be the one’s who start.

You need to mold a new reality, closer to the heart.

The blacksmith and the artist reflect it in their art.

They should forge their creativity, closer to the heart. YES!!! Closer to the heart.”

 

Those words hung in the air, creating a symphony of nouns, verbs, and adjectives. The Pope smiled and clasped his hands together. He continued.

 

“The philosopher and the plowmen—each must know his part.

Sowing new mentalities, closer to the heart, YEAH, closer to the heart.

Let me be your captain. I will draw the chart.

We’re sailing into destiny, closer to the heart.”

 

The crowd fed off his energy, rocking back and forth arm in arm, hanging on every word. “Listen. You’ve heard it all before. Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony, are sins that will bring you to your knees—like a Vapor Trail. Today, from St. Peter’s Basilica, I give you another. Cruelty to animals is awful and to endorse cannibalism is a shame. Brainwashing helpless strippers is deplorable. But this, this is where I draw the line. Thou shall not impersonate a Rush fan. To do so is an unforgivable sin. It’s a combination of all seven that came before it…plus it’s just mean.”

 

The Pope stared out into the sea of humanity and plowed on. “As I’ve said before, I’m not here to judge anybody, but to share boundless love. However, there’s a tipping point, even for me. These fans have endured decades of slander, bullying, and intellectual dishonesty from all angles of society. They’ve never been popular, and have always reminded of that fact. They’ve been the target of scorn and rage from those who think they’re “better” than everyone else. No more. We honor the Rush fan. Trolling Rush Fan websites, causing hate and discontent is banned. To the Rush fan, you are no longer detached, no longer subdivided. The dreamer. The misfit. You, who are so alone—come unto me and we’ll listen to Vapor Trails together.” The crowd then responded with their own version of YYZ, in a chant that would make most Brazilians jealous.

 

At that moment the Pope broke centuries of protocol, freaking out his collective entourage of cardinals, and began to rip off his vestments, including papal hat, to reveal something very personal to him. The crowd’s huge roar was an approval for his Vapor Trails tour shirt, and knock-off of a certain drummer’s signature hat. He then proclaimed, “Today Rush fans we unite!”

 

The Dawn of a New Day

 

No wonder this pontiff is off the charts with the common person. He’s a riot. He continued with his edict. “And those who transgress against the band, remember these words: You will burn in Hell! Before preparing this message I did some soul searching. I started in the Sistine Chapel, pacing back and forth. Searching for some inspiration. I got nothing in that dusty room. I then decided to go down in the Necropolis, among the dead bones of those who came before me.” The Pope then raised his hands and continued, “I spoke to them. I spoke to them words that would hopefully bring them to life, to give me some comfort and encouragement to deliver today’s message.”

 

He paused, the crowd mere putty in his hands. “Rising out of their crypts, the bones danced and spoke these words:

 

Jack, relax. Get busy with the facts.

No zodiacs or almanacs. No maniacs in polyester slacks.

Just the facts. You gotta kick some gluteus max.

It’s a parallax, ya dig?

 

When you move around the small gets big, it’s a rig.

It’s action—reaction. Random interaction.

Don’t be afraid of little abstractions. You can’t get satisfaction from the facts.

You’d better run homeboy—facts a fact from Rome to Gnome boy!

 

What’s the deal?

Spin the wheel. If the dice are hot—take a shot.

Play your cards. Show us what you got—what you’re holding.

If the cards are cold, don’t go folding. Lady luck is golden.

She favors the bold and that’s cold.

Stop throwing stones—the night has a 1000 saxophones.

Get out there and rock and roll the bones—Get busy!!!”

 

The Pope continued, “That doesn’t happen every day at the Vatican. Now. To my friend who is sitting in a jail cell on the far side of the world—repent, and denounce your trolling ways. Embrace BU2B2. Embrace Vapor Trails. Your soul depends on it!”

With that final statement, Pope Francis left the festivities to the chants of the crowd—“Turn or Burn! Turn or Burn! Turn or Burn!”

 

At that point this reporter, along with my friends from the German and Italian news desks, sat on the edge of a fountain, watching the crowd of people disperse. The wind whisked around us, spreading its cold chill and blowing litter hither and dither. Night slowly approached and we were alone, wondering how a tiny dwarf incarcerated in the Santa Barbara jail could manage to piss off the Pope. As it turns out there were many reasons.

 

Saying our goodbyes, we felt the same as before the Pope’s sermon. Confused.

 

Flying out of Rome, this Yukon Blade Grinder reporter was still scratching his head. Now, Judge Hhang M. Hi looms on the horizon. Goober better hope she’s in a better frame of mind than Pope Francis.

 

 

http://i341.photobucket.com/albums/o371/x1yyz/Pope%20Francis_zpsqh66uvqs.jpg

Edited April 5, 2015 by Tombstone Mountain

[Tombstone Mountain]

Someone told me his favorite Rush song is Superconductor, but I have not been able to verify it.

 

Perhaps the YBG can scrape up the funds to send me on a fact finding mission to the Vatican?

Here ya go chick...this'll get you started!

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/64/USDnotes.png/252px-USDnotes.png

[Lorraine]

Wowzer! $188 big ones! That will get me one night at a cheap Italian hotel and maybe a bag of Zeppoles to ward off my hunger.

 

But...it's a start. I also heard that he wears A Farewell To Kings t-shirt under his papal robes, but who knows if it's a rumor?