Conformity Secrecy

[Echoes]

Hey all. I recently wrote and recorded a song called "Conformity Secrecy". The verses are about depression and the chorus is about someone I like. I showed it to rushringleader and he told me if I dont post it, he would So if anyone's interested, please let me know what you think. Lyrics below the link.

 

Conformity_Secrecy.mp3 - 5.88MB

 

 

(verse one) Lost in the dark. Far from the light. You cant control what's going on inside. Maybe it will just pass you by. Maybe you will someday be alright.

 

(chorus) Conformity secrecy. Your eyes got the best of me. Conformity secrecy. Losing grip on reality. Conformity secrecy. Am I what you thought I'd be? Conformity secrecy. We live our lives so differently. Conformity secrecy. Is this how it's supposed to be?

 

(verse 2) The cost is too much to pay the price. It's worth enough to open your eyes. Dormant happiness waiting to respond. Willing you to keep holding on.

(repeat chorus, lead, repeat chorus)

 

 

[rushringleader]

I think this is the best work you have ever made, and I have basically heard them all. Keep on going!

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

Nice vocal melodies. The chord progression is nice. The lead guitar stuff has just the right tone and is played nice and clean, and the melody is very pretty. There's nice control and restraint in the lead playing. The vocals are a little spotty in a couple of places pitch-wise, but are overall very good.

 

Only one thing takes away from the song for me -- it's too long. The song is 6:25, and you have only two verses, a chorus, and the short lead guitar sections, and to fill up that 6:25 you're repeating those sections too many times. If you added a bridge and maybe an instrumental section that were departures from the other sections you'd fill those minutes out a little better without getting repetitive.

 

Otherwise, with the ingredients you have (and they're good ingredients!), if this song were in the 3:00-3:30 range, maybe 4:00 max, it'd be right on. When you're dealing with a guitar/vocals only song, shorter is better, IMO.

 

Just my opinions. This IS good work, so keep it up.

[Cowtothesky]

I like the song!

 

I agree with 1001 as well. Find the odd chord and go with it. Shake it up a little and maybe try a different variation in the 2nd and 3rd verses. It does seem a little long in the current format. Remember that the first 30 seconds of a song are crucial to its success. Most people will tune out early and not get to the chorus unless you surprise them. Don't take it as criticism though. It all depends on what you want to accomplish with your music. Keep it going!

[Echoes]

@ RRL: Thanks man. You're like my bigget fan

 

 

@ 1001: Thanks for your input. I actually appreciate the critisism as well so I could work on it. I have a tendancy to make songs long because I dont want them to be too short. Also, I am in NO WAY a lead guitarist. I'm totally just winging it. Glad you liked it though. I also appreciate that you like my voice. People tend to have mixed feelings on it and I've been told it's an aquired taste. I think it's unique though.

 

@ Cowtothesky: I hear ya. Thanks for listening. Basically what I want to accomplish with my music is to first and foremost have fun with it, and to be able to maybe write or create something that can inspire people the way I've been inspired by Rush and my other favorite bands/artists.

 

 

If anyone wants to hear more, the link to my original music myspace page is in my sig. . None of my songs have drums in it yet, but that's just temporary.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Echoes

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

QUOTE (Echoes @ Mar 31 2009, 10:49 PM)

@ 1001: Thanks for your input. I actually appreciate the critisism as well so I could work on it. I have a tendancy to make songs long because I dont want them to be too short.

You should never be concerned with the length of your songs (unless they're either 30 seconds or 30 minutes long ). A song should be as long as it needs to be to say what you want to say without any parts overstaying their welcome.

 

IMO, you have a nice 3-4 minute song there that you felt needed to be 6+ minutes. Wilderness_of_Mirrors makes a long song and titles his thread, "I made a 19 minute song!" See a pattern there? Just like with sex, the length is not what's important, it's how well you use it! I'm not saying WoM's song is too long, but he chose to use the song's length to attract attention to it. The length is secondary to the music, or at least it should be.

 

Yes' "Close to the Edge" is 18 minutes long, and it needs those 18 minutes to get all its ideas across. They didn't make it that long just for the sake of making an album side-length epic -- the music dictated the song's length. That song has no filler. In contrast, Spock's Beard's "The Great Nothing" clocks in at 27 minutes, and IMO could have been 9 minutes shorter. That song got to a point where all its ideas had been fully explored...then it kept going. It overstayed its welcome.

 

The best songs, no matter how long they are, always leave you wanting more.