DarkCityJay

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in your bathtub? Throw in your laundry

What do you call a lesbian with large fingers? Well hung

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "hey, why the long face?"

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care

It has also come to my attention recently that there have been protests against Dan Brown's previous book Angels & Demons, which focuses on an organization called The Illuminati. What in the hell do they have to protest against? The Bavarian Illuminati, though centuries defunct, did actually exist. Check your history books, protesters. It was formed by Adam Weishaupt in 1776. They were disbanded a short time later, and Adam Weishaupt was exiled out of the country. Of course, any tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist idiot will tell you that The Illuminati still exist and control the entire world in secrecy.

QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ May 21 2006, 07:19 PM) QUOTE (2112-Rob-2112 @ May 22 2006, 01:36 AM)What i dont get is why protest the movie when a book of the same name has been out forever. Sadly that's because most people don't read books Oh believe me, there have been countless books by countless "professors" and other organizations that have "debunked" the book. How one would go about debunking a work of fiction is beyond me. Check out the religion section of any major bookstore, and you will find them all on display, considering The da Vinci Code is the flavor of the week right now. You will see books such as: The da Vinci Lies The da Vinci Hoax Cracking the da Vinci Code The da Vinci Truth Conveniently, the publishers for all of these books happen to be Christian publishing companies. My $0.02 is that if all these people and organizations rally to crusade against a work of fiction, then they're just as stupid as the people who believe it.

QUOTE (Schmoo @ May 25 2006, 02:17 PM) You people are old as f**k Here's my first car....a 1985 Mazda 626 http://memimage.cardomain.net/member_images/5/web/2189000-2189999/2189205_10.jpg Hey I'm only 26. I got that car in '01. Bought it off my uncle for 200 bucks.

whoopsie. fuckup. read on.

http://www.carsearch.com/photos/731556.jpeg '72 Buick Skylark (nicknamed "Sky-Tor") Looked exactly like the one in the picture above, except an uglier rust/brownish color and far more decrepit. It lasted me a little under a year. By the time I sold it, whenever it rained I would get a free bath thanks to the cancerous rust on the roof, and I had to put it in park every time I came to a stop sign or it would stall. I sold it for $100.

Very ballsy episode. All the philosophizing had my companions scratching their heads. I caught onto the big twist about halfway into it. The writers must have watched Jacob's Ladder right before they sat down to write that episode. The exploding testicle was lovely as well.

It took 60 years to make a movie about Pearl Harbor, but only 5 to make one about 9/11? I find it kind of disturbing that 4 years ago, they pulled a Simpsons episode out of syndication because it had TWC in it, and now they're making a Hollywood motion picture out of it. I suppose this was inevitable though.

^^^ Hey, you said we would keep that off the boards!!! I can't believe you!

^^^ Yeah, that's what they all say, Mr. Flacid

^^^ That was low you son of a bitch. I told you I was tired that night.