Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?
A: It scares the Hell out of the dog!
Q: How did Stevie Wonder get the pock marks all over his face?
A: From learning to eat with a fork!
Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?
A: "No"? ...Neither has he!
Q: What do you call a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles?
A: Endless Love
Q: What did Stevie Wonder think of the cheese grater he got as a gift?
A: He thought it was the most violent book he had ever read!
Q: Why were Helen Keller's legs yellow?
A: Her dog was blind too!
Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
A: Trying to read the waffle iron!
Q: How did Helen Keller burn her left ear?
A: She answered the iron!
Q: How did Helen Keller burn her right ear?
A: The sucker called back!
A blind man walks into the grocery store with his guide dog and stops near a pyramid of cans on display. Suddenly, he picks his dog up by the tail and starts swinging it and swirling it round and round madly over his head, knocking things over and causing a worried store clerk to run toward him. "What do you think you're doing?!" the clerk asked, to which the blind man replied, "Oh, just looking around!"
A blind man approached a curb, getting ready to cross the street with his guide dog. He could tell their was heavy traffic, but his dog pulled him out into the street anyway. Cars started swerving, horns honked, all chaos ensued. Thankfully, the man and dog made it safely across the street. The blind man then reached in his pocket, pulled out a dog biscuit, and fed it to his guide dog. A woman who had watched this whole horrid scene ran up and screamed at him, "You idiot! You could've been killed! How could you have the nerve to give your dog a treat after what he did to you?!" To which the blind man replied, "I had to find his mouth first before I could kick his butt!"
A blind man is sitting in a fancy suit-n-tie restaurant and gets served a thick steak. He begins cutting with his knife in a hard sawing motion, intriguing the waiter who had served him. "Sir, it looks like you're having trouble cutting your steak, may I help you?" the waiter asked. The blind man replied, "Oh no, I'm independent and doing fine on my own, but thank you!" A while passed as the blind man was still trying furiously to saw the knife through his rubbery tough steak. The waiter approached him and said, "Sir, I know you told me you'd like to remain independent... but when is a good time to tell you you're cutting through your tie?"