Citizen of the World

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy: That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot. We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay? I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger: ...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive! Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one? They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got eyes like little pigs, just like their mother. She's a disaster ... a really horrible-looking person, she is. Oh, well, bring them round for tea tomorrow. It's a standing buffet only. Mr ibanezJem, will you stand up please Sadly, I cannot be with TRF tonight, but I have sent my fridge.This is the fridge in which I keep most of my milk, butter and eggs. What a typically selfless gesture, that I should send this fridge, of all of my fridges, to be with TRF tonight. Er, can you put it in the kitchen? Can you turn it on and connect it up, Citizen? Well, I don't know. What we can do for you is take it back to the depot, get a transfer slip from Crump to Ibanez, and put it on a special delivery. Typical of Ibanez's hostile opening spell was his dismissal of V.E. Citizen, who offered no resistance to this delivery... Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leslie Ibanez, the Chairman of the Test Selection Committee, and I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that this thread has been chosen as the venue for the Third Test against the West Indies. Oh, shut up Ibanez or we'll close the bar. And now 73 is running up to bowl to Citizen, he runs up, he bowls to Citizen... Blackhawkrush KILLED OUTRIGHT, BOWLED ODINGA - 1-0-0-1-0-0-1C.O.T. World LEGS OFF BEFORE WICKET, BOWLED ODINGA - 2112. Ah, well I'm afraid we have to stop that post there, as some of the words which followed were of a violent nature which might have proved distressing to some of our users. Though not to me, I can tell you. :drool: I remember blackhawkrush was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. Basically blackhawkrush is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table. He had been running a successful escort agency - high class, no really, high class girls -- we didn't have any of "that" - that was right out. oh aren't we grand. Harlot's not good enough for us eh? Paramour, concubine, fille de joie. That's what we are not. Well listen to me my fine fellow, you are a bit of tail, that's what you are.

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger: ...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive! Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one? They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got eyes like little pigs, just like their mother. She's a disaster ... a really horrible-looking person, she is. Oh, well, bring them round for tea tomorrow. It's a standing buffet only. Mr ibanezJem, will you stand up please Sadly, I cannot be with TRF tonight, but I have sent my fridge.This is the fridge in which I keep most of my milk, butter and eggs. What a typically selfless gesture, that I should send this fridge, of all of my fridges, to be with TRF tonight. Er, can you put it in the kitchen? Can you turn it on and connect it up, Citizen? Well, I don't know. What we can do for you is take it back to the depot, get a transfer slip from Crump to Ibanez, and put it on a special delivery. Typical of Ibanez's hostile opening spell was his dismissal of V.E. Citizen, who offered no resistance to this delivery... Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leslie Ibanez, the Chairman of the Test Selection Committee, and I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that this thread has been chosen as the venue for the Third Test against the West Indies. Oh, shut up Ibanez or we'll close the bar. And now 73 is running up to bowl to Citizen, he runs up, he bowls to Citizen... Blackhawkrush KILLED OUTRIGHT, BOWLED ODINGA - 1-0-0-1-0-0-1C.O.T. World LEGS OFF BEFORE WICKET, BOWLED ODINGA - 2112. Ah, well I'm afraid we have to stop that post there, as some of the words which followed were of a violent nature which might have proved distressing to some of our users. Though not to me, I can tell you. :drool: I remember blackhawkrush was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. Basically blackhawkrush is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger: ...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive! Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one? They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got eyes like little pigs, just like their mother. She's a disaster ... a really horrible-looking person, she is. Oh, well, bring them round for tea tomorrow. It's a standing buffet only. Mr ibanezJem, will you stand up please

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger: ...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive! Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one? They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got eyes like little pigs, just like their mother. She's a disaster ... a really horrible-looking person, she is. Oh, well, bring them round for tea tomorrow.

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger: ...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive! Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one?

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment

I've had my lot of the Arctic Circle. I wish I was back in Oldham ... Ah one of our adventure holidays! No ... we chased sticks ... we chased a few reindeer... Oh, you must be tired. It's a long way from Coventry, isn't it? You must be dying for a cup of tea. :spitwater: But if I was dying, I wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh'. I'd just say it. Very good speaking voice. Ah, well, I don't want you to get the impression it's just a question of the number of words... um... I mean, getting them in the right order is just as important. I thought you did that so well, Mr. Ibanez. Could I have your autograph? Ecrivez-vous votre nom dans mon livre des hommes célèbrites, s'il vous plait. Là, au-dessous de Denis Compton Not too bad, now let's try it with somebody else. Er, Mr. Mariolini. Er... I forget my name for the moment but I am a merchant banker. banking, yes, yes, banking that's a man's life, isn't it? Banking, travel, excitement, adventure, thrills, decisions affecting people's lives. You can keep your Marxist ways, for it's only just a phase. Money, money, money makes the world go round. How much do you want for the gourd? the briefcase and the umbrella and the two pens in your breast pocket

I've had my lot of the Arctic Circle. I wish I was back in Oldham ... Ah one of our adventure holidays! No ... we chased sticks ... we chased a few reindeer... Oh, you must be tired. It's a long way from Coventry, isn't it? You must be dying for a cup of tea. :spitwater: But if I was dying, I wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh'. I'd just say it. Very good speaking voice. Ah, well, I don't want you to get the impression it's just a question of the number of words... um... I mean, getting them in the right order is just as important. I thought you did that so well, Mr. Ibanez. Could I have your autograph? Ecrivez-vous votre nom dans mon livre des hommes célèbrites, s'il vous plait. Là, au-dessous de Denis Compton Not too bad, now let's try it with somebody else. Er, Mr. Mariolini. Er... I forget my name for the moment but I am a merchant banker. banking, yes, yes, banking that's a man's life, isn't it? Banking, travel, excitement, adventure, thrills, decisions affecting people's lives.

Just saw The Aristocrats last night. Brilliant

I've had my lot of the Arctic Circle. I wish I was back in Oldham ... Ah one of our adventure holidays! No ... we chased sticks ... we chased a few reindeer... Oh, you must be tired. It's a long way from Coventry, isn't it? You must be dying for a cup of tea. :spitwater: But if I was dying, I wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh'. I'd just say it. Very good speaking voice. Ah, well, I don't want you to get the impression it's just a question of the number of words... um... I mean, getting them in the right order is just as important. I thought you did that so well, Mr. Ibanez. Could I have your autograph? Ecrivez-vous votre nom dans mon livre des hommes célèbrites, s'il vous plait. Là, au-dessous de Denis Compton

A very happy Birthday to you Lorraine, one of the finest people on this site

I've had my lot of the Arctic Circle. I wish I was back in Oldham ... Ah one of our adventure holidays!

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty. Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. :hockeygoon: Very amusing, Lord Blackhawkrush, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. Ibanez cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964? I'm taking her off the jumps, er, because I've got something lined up for Mary next week that I think is very much more up her street... She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land! Sex, sex, sex. That's all you think about, huh? Well, how are you , then, Citizen? :cheers: I'm a little bit sad and lonelyNow my baby's gone away... I'm feeling kinda blue Don't know just what to do I feel a little sad today. Well, don't you see Citizen, that was exactly the kind of explicit sexual reference I'm objecting to. It's titillation for the sake of it. A deliberate attempt at cheap sensationalism. You'll never get away with this, Citizen, you porn merchant! Porn merchants did not wear hand-embroidered chevrons. They did not! Oh, blimey, I only wanted a jolly good... What you do in your own time, Citizen, is written on the wall in the "Geddy is Hot Mk II" thread. It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Citizen of World. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh'

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty. Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. :hockeygoon: Very amusing, Lord Blackhawkrush, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. Ibanez cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964? I'm taking her off the jumps, er, because I've got something lined up for Mary next week that I think is very much more up her street... She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land! Sex, sex, sex. That's all you think about, huh? Well, how are you , then, Citizen? :cheers: I'm a little bit sad and lonelyNow my baby's gone away... I'm feeling kinda blue Don't know just what to do I feel a little sad today. Well, don't you see Citizen, that was exactly the kind of explicit sexual reference I'm objecting to. It's titillation for the sake of it. A deliberate attempt at cheap sensationalism. You'll never get away with this, Citizen, you porn merchant! Porn merchants did not wear hand-embroidered chevrons. They did not! Oh, blimey, I only wanted a jolly good...

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty. Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. :hockeygoon: Very amusing, Lord Blackhawkrush, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. Ibanez cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964? I'm taking her off the jumps, er, because I've got something lined up for Mary next week that I think is very much more up her street... She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land! Sex, sex, sex. That's all you think about, huh? Well, how are you , then, Citizen? :cheers: I'm a little bit sad and lonelyNow my baby's gone away... I'm feeling kinda blue Don't know just what to do I feel a little sad today.

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty. Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. :hockeygoon: Very amusing, Lord Blackhawkrush, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. Ibanez cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964? I'm taking her off the jumps, er, because I've got something lined up for Mary next week that I think is very much more up her street... She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty. Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. :hockeygoon: Very amusing, Lord Blackhawkrush, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. Ibanez cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964?

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen Don't get uptight, man. Join the scene and other phrases. Money isn't real. :smoke: ... the wacky days of the late Pleistocene era when much of Britain's rock strata was being formed. Well hello, it's the wacky Queen again! And who's the other fella? It's Willie Gladstone! And when these two way-out wacky characters get together there's fun a-plenty.

No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Well- this- gentleman- sir- has- just- come- in- to- report- that- he- was- sitting- at- home- with- a- friend- when- he- heard- a- noise- in- the- backroom- went- round- to- investigate- and- found- that-£5,000- in- savings- had- been- stolen

Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. The ginger biscuit, the crisps and the sausage roll were unharmed. Good thinking, Ibanez. :cheers: And we'll finish off with the peaches. And we can start off with the avocados. Ah good, Sir Blackhawk, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile. You're not Jewish, are you? Ah, anti-semitism! Whatever made you think that, Colonel Ibanez? The Colonel Ibanez doesn't think we're nice people, Citizen. We're your buddies, Colonel Ibanez. Yes! Blackhawkrush and Citizen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the Rush Forum, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath Dear Citizen. I am over three thousand years old :codger: and would like to see any scene with two people (Ibanez and Citizen) in bed. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of Ibanez in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry. Sadly, the man who designed the art cannot be with us tonight, as he is at home asleep, but we're going to wake him up. Are you there in Bristol, Arthur Ibanez Briggs? When Ibanez is in a really deep sleep like this one, the only way to wake him up is to saw his head off. Couldn't you have your balls cut off? And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. Right, well, we'll disengage the um, you know...like you said...we'll disengage 'em. Tell you what, I'll put 73 :fury: on to it, OK? Well now we're getting somewhere. No, wait. A new angle! In the snow, instead of the tree, I see Citizen, and instead of the dog, I see Blackhawkrush. Intercourse Italian style. Shut up you eyeties!

Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. The ginger biscuit, the crisps and the sausage roll were unharmed. Good thinking, Ibanez. :cheers: And we'll finish off with the peaches. And we can start off with the avocados. Ah good, Sir Blackhawk, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile. You're not Jewish, are you? Ah, anti-semitism! Whatever made you think that, Colonel Ibanez? The Colonel Ibanez doesn't think we're nice people, Citizen. We're your buddies, Colonel Ibanez. Yes! Blackhawkrush and Citizen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the Rush Forum, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath Dear Citizen. I am over three thousand years old :codger: and would like to see any scene with two people (Ibanez and Citizen) in bed. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of Ibanez in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry. Sadly, the man who designed the art cannot be with us tonight, as he is at home asleep, but we're going to wake him up. Are you there in Bristol, Arthur Ibanez Briggs? When Ibanez is in a really deep sleep like this one, the only way to wake him up is to saw his head off. Couldn't you have your balls cut off? And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. The ginger biscuit, the crisps and the sausage roll were unharmed. Good thinking, Ibanez. :cheers: And we'll finish off with the peaches. And we can start off with the avocados. Ah good, Sir Blackhawk, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile. You're not Jewish, are you? Ah, anti-semitism! Whatever made you think that, Colonel Ibanez? The Colonel Ibanez doesn't think we're nice people, Citizen. We're your buddies, Colonel Ibanez. Yes! Blackhawkrush and Citizen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the Rush Forum, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath Dear Citizen. I am over three thousand years old :codger: and would like to see any scene with two people (Ibanez and Citizen) in bed. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of Ibanez in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry.

Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. The ginger biscuit, the crisps and the sausage roll were unharmed. Good thinking, Ibanez. :cheers: And we'll finish off with the peaches. And we can start off with the avocados. Ah good, Sir Blackhawk, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile. You're not Jewish, are you? Ah, anti-semitism! Whatever made you think that, Colonel Ibanez? The Colonel Ibanez doesn't think we're nice people, Citizen. We're your buddies, Colonel Ibanez. Yes! Blackhawkrush and Citizen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the Rush Forum, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath