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Posts posted by Moonlit Dreamer
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The person I'm renting my home from has made the decision to sell it. I'm being forced to leave unless I can somehow come up with the money to purchase it. I can barely cover my bills as it is and I have nowhere to go. I don't know what else to do at this point but drink wine and enjoy my music, and appreciate what I still have in this moment. I feel dead. I have worked so hard to get here. Now everything is being taken away. Again.
Maybe there are people who remember me, and know that my father passed away ten years ago. My mother and I lost the home that he built because he refinanced to establish his own company. We couldn't afford the mortgage, and he removed my mother's name when they divorced. Consequently our home was foreclosed on. It haunts me every day to think that a stranger is sleeping in my father's room, and someone else is using the kitchen where we cooked all of our Sunday dinners and holiday meals. Now I'm losing everything, all over again. This life feels like a movie. It doesn't even seem real anymore. Grieving over the past is one thing, but wondering if I will have a roof over my head is something entirely different. I'm losing the strength to continue onward.
I keep thinking about my great grandfather. He commited suicide. I never had the chance to meet him, but I feel that I am experiencing the same emotions that he did in his final days. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems, and I know I'm not the only one struggling, but this feels so bad. I’m terrified.
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Ivan Rebroff: Ochi Chernye
I love him. His voice is so comforting.
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Evanescence: Taking Over Me
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Barclay James Harvest: For No One
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Last few ~
Peter Hammill: The Comet, The Course, The Tail
Dio: Sacred Heart
Blind Guardian: The New Order
Annisokay: Nihilist Blues- 1
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Uriah Heep: Rainbow Demon
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Uriah Heep: Weep In Silence
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Red Sun Rising: Uninvited
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Talk Talk: The Party’s Over
Talk Talk: It’s My Life
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Last few ~
Renaissance: Mother Russia
Renaissance: Kiev
Steve Hackett: Love Song To A Vampire
Marillion: Chelsea Monday
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Behemoth: Satanica
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Lucifer's Children: Signs Of Saturn
Queensrÿche: Queensrÿche EP
Bathory: Twilight Of The Gods
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Behemoth: I Loved You At Your Darkest
Fates Warning: No Exit
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Edit: Apparently no one cares. Thank you.
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Never mind.
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If it's any consolation, you aren't alone in this situation; I'm located on the southeast coast.
I'm unable to find any drinking water; it disappears as soon as a shipment is received.
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Birthday: October 12th, 1991
Birthstone: Opal
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Chinese Zodiac: Goat
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I haven't posted any photos of Lucy in quite a while.
http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll35/Lady_Guinevere/Cats/Lucy001_zpspp1ulsga.jpg
The white of her paw somewhat resembles a heart. http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll35/Lady_Guinevere/Transparent%20-%20General/2131j8_zpsj20bwcpp.gif
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Still feeling the loss of my Mother in June, her birthday would have been on December 22nd and we always spent Christmas Eve with her. A big void to fill. Have shed a lot of tears this week. My hubby and I are both orphans since he lost his Mom July 2015, still mourning her too. :sigh: :(
:(
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So sorry to hear this as well, MD. :(
I had a dog who died very young, also from lymphoma. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Blue J.
Aw, I am so sorry to hear that. :(
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So sorry hun xx
Thank you, Dweezil. I really appreciate it.
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Yesterday (of all days), I found out my dog died of lymphoma. I'm having a difficult time letting go. I took her with me everywhere; the beach, long drives, the park, wherever. She was a sweet, loveable, protective, silly bundle of a dog. I had her from age thirteen to age twenty.
After my father passed away, my mother wouldn't allow me to keep her. My half-sister's dad adopted her from us. Imagining her living a happy life there wasn't as depressing, but knowing I'll definitely never see her again, now... I never got to say goodbye. :(
http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll35/Lady_Guinevere/Dogs/Lola_zpsbd41vjhp.jpg
She always pulled her sweater off when no one was around.
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A slice of gingerbread loaf, with whipped topping.
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I'm beginning to feel like a pariah in my professional life.
Don't be discouraged by the unfortunate few who aren't able to realize your potential.
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What Made You Sad Today?
in Random Samples
Posted
Thank you to everyone who responded to me; I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry that I haven't replied yet. I am an introvert, so communicating is sometimes difficult for me. I'm also less motivated to write when I'm in this frame of mind.
They took photos of the house yesterday, which included photos of my personal belongings. Pictures of my life, of everything that matters to me, for all of the world to see. I feel violated. I work, I pay my bills, I abide by the law, I keep to myself, yet this is what I deserve. I feel like I am made of lead, like I'm dragging myself around. This is perhaps the worst that I have ever felt. I can't believe this is happening.
I would seek help, but I don't want to lose my job because I was hospitalized and unable to show up. I also need to be here for my cats and my dog, so I make myself keep going for them even though I really can't. If they weren't here, I wouldn't be either. The air in this home feels heavy, dark, and silent, like the house is aware of the hell unfolding. It seems the world was set out to destroy me from the start, and I don't understand why. I really should not be alone at this time. Then I think about my job and my four-legged companions, and I have no choice. I have reached a dead end.