Citizen of the World

I've got three noses! And now six more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus... 1,2,5 Did she say 8? My brain hurts! Well, you could get one of those Curry's brains. Lemon Curry? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? He's got to be a bleeding fairy. I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. So if you're going out, or going on holiday, or anything strange happens involving other galaxies, just nip round to your local police station, and tell the sergeant on duty - or his wife - of your suspicions. I'm not by nature a suspicious person - far from it - though in fact I have something of a reputation as an after-dinner speaker, if you take my meaning.... Shut your bloody gob! Did somebody say mattress to Mr Lambert? I think he's got beautiful legs. I've got two legs from my hips to the ground And when I move 'em they walk around And when I lift 'em they climb the stairs And when I shave 'em they ain't got hairs The right leg isn't silly at all and left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step. I knew I'd disturb you ... I knew I'd disturb you ... It always happens ... whenever I've found someone I really think I'm going to be able to get on with... :( It's only a bloody parking offence. :hi: You have been found not gillcup of the charges brought against you and may leave this court a free man.

I've got three noses! And now six more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus... 1,2,5 Did she say 8? My brain hurts! Well, you could get one of those Curry's brains. Lemon Curry? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? He's got to be a bleeding fairy. I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. So if you're going out, or going on holiday, or anything strange happens involving other galaxies, just nip round to your local police station, and tell the sergeant on duty - or his wife - of your suspicions. I'm not by nature a suspicious person - far from it - though in fact I have something of a reputation as an after-dinner speaker, if you take my meaning....

I've got three noses! And now six more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus... 1,2,5 Did she say 8? My brain hurts! Well, you could get one of those Curry's brains. Lemon Curry? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? He's got to be a bleeding fairy. I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police.

I've got three noses! And now six more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus... 1,2,5 Did she say 8? My brain hurts! Well, you could get one of those Curry's brains. Lemon Curry? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?

I've got three noses! And now six more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus... 1,2,5 Did she say 8? My brain hurts! Well, you could get one of those Curry's brains.

Eww, with a gammy leg? I was hopping along minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured mate." Bloody do-gooder. So much for pathos. Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em. Blimey, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Ees nothing, Señor, ees just some literature. Just these, then. Mr Walters, are you sure you're invisible? Yes that's right, David, I'm trying not to be seen. I've just been told that Huron has requested a plane ticket for Budapest. So he's definitely getting warmer. But be careful. He's had a few. Mind you he's as good as gold in the morning, I've got to hand it to him, but come lunchtime it's a bottle of vin ordinaire - six glasses and he's ready to agitate

. Eww, with a gammy leg? I was hopping along minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured mate." Bloody do-gooder. So much for pathos. Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em. Blimey, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Ees nothing, Señor, ees just some literature. Just these, then. Mr Walters, are you sure you're invisible? Yes that's right, David, I'm trying not to be seen.

You get 'Gone with the Wind', 'Les Miserables' by Victor Hugo, 'The French Lieutenant's Woman' and with every third book you get dung. Eww, with a gammy leg? I was hopping along minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured mate." Bloody do-gooder. So much for pathos. Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em. Blimey, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Ees nothing, Señor, ees just some literature. Just these, then.

Eww, with a gammy leg? I was hopping along minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured mate." Bloody do-gooder. So much for pathos. Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em. Blimey, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Ees nothing, Señor, ees just some literature.

Eww, with a gammy leg? I was hopping along minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured mate." Bloody do-gooder.

Do you want to come back to my place?

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick He'll need one to defend himself against the vicious gangs of Keep-Left signs The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example That's positive thinking for you. You wouldn't have said a thing like that, would you? You 5-foot-10-inch weed. Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you? I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid. Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"... I do apologize. I will fetch the head waiter immediatement. A wise choice, monsieur. And now, how would you like it served? All mixed up together in a bucket? I'll have a slice with not so much rat in it. But with lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes...yes! You know this used to be one of the most swampy disease infested areas of the whole jungle, and they've turned it into this smashing little restaurant. It's only a model. It's the Cutty Sark. It's a model I've been making in the dark for some years now.

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick He'll need one to defend himself against the vicious gangs of Keep-Left signs The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example That's positive thinking for you. You wouldn't have said a thing like that, would you? You 5-foot-10-inch weed. Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you? I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid. Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"... I do apologize. I will fetch the head waiter immediatement. A wise choice, monsieur. And now, how would you like it served? All mixed up together in a bucket?

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick He'll need one to defend himself against the vicious gangs of Keep-Left signs The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example That's positive thinking for you. You wouldn't have said a thing like that, would you? You 5-foot-10-inch weed. Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you? I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid. Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick He'll need one to defend himself against the vicious gangs of Keep-Left signs The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example That's positive thinking for you. You wouldn't have said a thing like that, would you? You 5-foot-10-inch weed. Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick He'll need one to defend himself against the vicious gangs of Keep-Left signs The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example

Shut that bloody Bouzouki off! It's a bazooka! Supposing he's got a pointed stick

And thank you again for the excellent banana and cheese delicacy

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. She simply shot herself and then hid the gun. Oh. I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut. Cut, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder, Hitchcock, Psycho... Pretty strong meat there from Longueur who is saying, of course, that ultimately materialism, in this case the Webb's Wonder lettuce, must destroy us all. That's right, keep low. Remember, watch out for the Killer Cars! But my car was hit by a lorry while standing in the garage and you refuse to pay my claim If you don't mind leaving a blood sample and a piece of skin off the back of the scalp just here, sir. It's just for identification. Number seventeen. The top of the head. I want you kids to get a-head. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug Douglas Adams???? He's superb. His gobbing is consistent and accurate. His son is a dirty foul little creature, and those frightful scabs which Mrs Jodrell licks off the cat are...

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. She simply shot herself and then hid the gun. Oh. I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut. Cut, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder, Hitchcock, Psycho... Pretty strong meat there from Longueur who is saying, of course, that ultimately materialism, in this case the Webb's Wonder lettuce, must destroy us all. That's right, keep low. Remember, watch out for the Killer Cars! But my car was hit by a lorry while standing in the garage and you refuse to pay my claim If you don't mind leaving a blood sample and a piece of skin off the back of the scalp just here, sir. It's just for identification. Number seventeen. The top of the head. I want you kids to get a-head. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. She simply shot herself and then hid the gun. Oh. I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut. Cut, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder, Hitchcock, Psycho... Pretty strong meat there from Longueur who is saying, of course, that ultimately materialism, in this case the Webb's Wonder lettuce, must destroy us all. That's right, keep low. Remember, watch out for the Killer Cars! But my car was hit by a lorry while standing in the garage and you refuse to pay my claim If you don't mind leaving a blood sample and a piece of skin off the back of the scalp just here, sir. It's just for identification. Number seventeen. The top of the head.

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. She simply shot herself and then hid the gun. Oh. I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut. Cut, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder, Hitchcock, Psycho... Pretty strong meat there from Longueur who is saying, of course, that ultimately materialism, in this case the Webb's Wonder lettuce, must destroy us all. That's right, keep low. Remember, watch out for the Killer Cars! But my car was hit by a lorry while standing in the garage and you refuse to pay my claim

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. She simply shot herself and then hid the gun. Oh. I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut.

But as yet absolutely no sign of Pablo Picasso. He was dirty, smelly and distasteful ... and I liked him very much ... What you do in your own time, Padre, is written on the wall in the vestry. The text, vic! Don't say the text! Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lie-eth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock. Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now, it has come to my attention that some pupils have been rubbing linseed oil into the School Cormorant. Now, of course, the Cormorant Commerates Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of the people of the town of Sudbury who died to keep China British. So the Cormorant is now OUT OF BOUNDS! And Simpkins? Apparently your mother died this morning.

Semprini Milan is better than Semprini. default/wink.png We haven't done comparatives yet. or wife swapping. default/drool1.gif Please excuse my wife, she may not be very beautiful, and she may have no money, and she may be a little talentless, boring and dull, but on the other hand ...... sorry I can't think of anything. She's got a huge bottom... It's perfectly easy for somebody just to come along here to the BBC simply claiming... that they have a bit to spare in the botty department My, it's hot in here. S'hot enough to boil a monkey's bum! That's not funny! Shut up you silly bitch, it was only a bit of fun Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed! We'll soon change your mind about that! (Diabolical acting) He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire. Look! I came here for an argument. You're going to get it, Big Nose. It's not even a proper nose..... It's polystyrene. It was smelly and obscene and disgusting and I hate it. And finally, in the disgusting objects international at Wembley tonight, England beat Spain by a plate of braised pus to a putrid heron