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Citizen of the World

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Status Updates posted by Citizen of the World

  1. Citizen of the World
    If you don’t know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself
  2. Citizen of the World
    Whenever someone says ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’. I say ‘Oh my god! Me neither!’
  3. Citizen of the World
    Laughter is the best medicine, though it tends not to work in the case of impotence
  4. Citizen of the World
    I used to ask a lot of rhetorical questions but I don't do it anymore. I mean, what's the point?
  5. Citizen of the World
    Irony, the opposite of wrinkly.
  6. Citizen of the World
    I let my mind wander the other day and it never came back.
  7. Citizen of the World
    Just finished a puzzle today in 6 months yet on the side of the box it says 2 to 4 years.
  8. Citizen of the World
    I'm a heroine addict. I need to be with women who have saved someone's life.
  9. Citizen of the World
    I bought a new boomerang, but I don't know how to throw away the old one.
  10. Citizen of the World
    My ex was so immature that if we had an argument she would wait until I was in the the bath and then she would burst in and sink my boats.
  11. Citizen of the World
    Well, I'm having a great day. Woke up this morning, got out of bed, went to the bathroom. In that order!
  12. Citizen of the World
    Had a big can of Alphaghetti, not long after the best vowel movement I've ever had
  13. Citizen of the World
    What was Willis talkin' about?
  14. Citizen of the World
    Why do they call it common sense? It doesn't seem to be that common.
  15. Citizen of the World
    I used to drink, but nowadays I get the same effect from standing up.
  16. Citizen of the World
    Spell checker is my worst enema
  17. Citizen of the World
    Tried to give my cat a bath yesterday but ended up with a hairball.
  18. Citizen of the World
    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  19. Citizen of the World
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  20. Citizen of the World
    Some people are like Slinkies not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs
  21. Citizen of the World
    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be
  22. Citizen of the World
    Pet spiders are cheaper to buy off the web
  23. Citizen of the World
    I don't know why they told me I'm innumerate, it doesn't add up
  24. Citizen of the World
    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  25. Citizen of the World
    If there was a shortage of invisible ink, would we even know?
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