briremo
-
Posts
946 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Calendar
Posts posted by briremo
-
-
QUOTE (Janie @ Oct 11 2010, 08:11 PM) How long has this attitude of hers been going on? Is this a new thing or has she always been a little, "not in the mood"? Is she really depressed? On any medication? Would she ever instigate or are you not willing to wait for that? 
If this is something that has been going on for a long time, I think you may have to take your chances and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Maybe something big is affecting her.How long, let's see...18.5 years..
SHe does ride an emotional roller coaster, but she is not bi-polar. My mother is and I'd know it when I see it.
-
It's not my nature to be confrontational and her demeanor is typically BOW, or Bitch on Wheels. She actually enjoys the name. Or Witch with a 'B' is how she says it.
She's not a bitchy person at home, but her job requires a certain 'tenacity'.
Sometimes the attitude comes home. So even bringing up the issue results in "We just had sex last Tuesday, it's been 5 days! Is that all you think about?" very confrontational. She can't just quietly discuss it calmly like an adult.I will try again but honestly I'm not hopeful. I think Im venting more than needing advice I guess. I've been to this rodeo many times before.
sigh.
-
QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 04:07 PM) QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM) I stay in shape, work out almost daily, so I'm not some disgusting toad.
I try to make things 'fun' in the romance department but it always falls 0n deaf ears or disinterest.Obviously, I don't know you or your wife. But this first comment made me think of a good friend of mine. Her hubby also works out daily...to the point that it is his priority and he becomes quite an ass if he doesn't get his work out. (OK, he's quite an ass 24/7 but it's even worse if he doesn't get to work out.) Try to take a step outside of yourself and think about how you act regarding your workouts. You should definitely be commended for working out daily, but hopefully you shrug it off if you just can't do it some days.
The second comment up there pertains to something RushChick said. Your idea of "fun" may be different than your wife's. Ask her what she'd like, what she'd think is "fun". Of course, many women are too embarrassed to admit to things - so just try to be patient with her answers.
I'm definatley not a dick about working out because I go through phases myself. I'm about 5"11 and today I'm about 180, two months ago I was 192 and I should be about 172. I'm not a gym rat in the muscle-guy sense, but I just like to stay tight and fit, not ripped. not enough time to spend 3 hours a day in the gym.
When I say "fun" it means I'm pretty much open to do anything for her. I'll wear a Jack Sparrow costume or howl like a werewolf (oh, Jacob!), I'll light candles and throw rose petals on the bed or handcuff her to the bedpost. I'LL DO ANYTHING! and she knows it, but she could care less because "Real Housewives of New Jesey" or "The Apprentice" is on. Like I said, "yawn, sorry honey, not tonight, I want to get these band booster packages together"...that aren't due for two more weeks.
So, one more days go by, I help her with the band booster packages or put listing packets together while I lead a life of quiet desperation
-
QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Oct 11 2010, 03:42 PM) QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 03:33 PM) And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is?
(There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.)I knew I was forgetting to mention something! Leave it to TheBlonde!
Yes, that can be a big deal-breaker for a lot of women. You can only go so long faking it. Then, sex becomes more of a chore, and not the enjoyable experience that it should be. I speak from experience.
She's NEVER faked it. Never had to. When she wants to, she does. At least we got that goin for us
-
QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 03:33 PM) QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM) and she's too busy to cheat on me And there, Sleepless, I think you may have answered your own question. She's mentally & physically exhausted.
Do you have children? Does your wife work outside of the home?
Does your attempt at rubbing her neck or feet typically result in your hands wandering elsewhere? Or do you give her the massage and then go about your own business?
You may shower her with a million compliments each day, but does SHE feel that way about herself?
And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is?
(There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.)
Yes we have early teen boys but they're good and stress free for the most part.
She does work, as a matter of fact that's her seconday pursuit, kids being 1st. But I work as much, (yes I know, I'm a guy) and find myself "In The Mood" quite bit regardless of how tired I am, or how much stress I'm under. Truthfully I can say she looks for ways to avoid intitmacy through work. her laptop has become her chastity belt
Have we had financial issues, sure, we're both self employed. So we've insanely good years and the economy has pinched, but all the bills are paid...and I'm still honry.
Does she always come away satisfied?
. But that's her choice, whenever she does want the experience, we make it happen together. She just has a "I only need it once a month" attitude. It's almost like the worst thing I can do is take her out for a nice dinner and arrange for the kids to go on sleep overs because then she assumes I want "it" even if I'm happy just to have some snuggle time. So the obligatory-sex ensues. Hey, I'm not gonna pass it up!
But, I feel like I get it so rarely and she feels like I all ever do is talk about sex because once a week i get that
look in my eyes, hoping I've waited long enough for her to be OK with it so I'm not pressuring her. Ugh, its so much work just to keep from expressing my desires.OK, yes, she has gained a little weight she's 5'10" and has gone from 135 to 160, but obviously that has not curtailed by desires. would I like her to lose weight, sure, but I never discuss it. I do think she's unhappy with her body.
You know, it's not so much that we don't have SEX often, it really boils down to the fact that she shuns intimacy so we can never get to the point where it just happens as a natural progression. It has to be an item on her check list.
IDK, here I am 47, married 19 years, I have had other opportunities which I've rejected and I'm starting to think that I need some validation that I'm acceptable to her. It sucks going around feeling like you repulse your spouse when others show interest. I won't stray because I can't betray someone like that (I could never survive it) but I also need her to change...and I hoenstly don't think that's gonna happen.
-
Hey Gals!
I'm asking for your help here. My dear wife just has no interest in 'getting together' anymore. Makes me sad. I'm a happy and positive guy, I always tell her she looks great, I kiss her and tell her I love her
, I rub her neck or her feet every night, I help around the house and do all the husbandly thing dutifully and (usuually) happily, but no matter what I do, she's too tired, too much on her mind, or just doesn't care about anything romantic.I stay in shape, work out almost daily, so I'm not some disgusting toad. you can click on my profile to see a pic if you like. I try to make things 'fun' in the romance department but it always falls 0n deaf ears or disinterest. What can I do? It's driving me crazy!
Whenever I get close and 'snuggly' she goes "Oh
...you want sex", which takes all the fun out of anything. It's like I just asked her to take out the trash or clean the gutters! Then she says "tonight honey", but tonight never comes, or at least fast enough for me.Never cheated on my beautiful bride, and she's too busy to cheat on me so I'm doubly perplexed.
Help ladies. What can I do!
Signed
Sleepless in Xanadu
-
QUOTE (rebelyank @ Oct 5 2010, 08:27 AM) My husband and I took our 11 and 14 year old sons to this tour (in San Francisco) because we're all major fans. It wasn't like we dragged them them there and they didn't know a thing. We happened to end up in a really heavy smoking area. Some people were acting crazy. But it was a very teachable moment for us. We tried to show them how not to focus on stuff like that and remember the reason you're there -- to see the greatest band in the world. Just tune everything else out and lock into the music! While Rush and Pink Floyd among others have a major drug culture following, there are many of us who enjoy them sober. As long as you're not pushing your own agenda (either way) I don't have a problem with either side of it. we too brought our 12 and 14 year old boys. although it wasnt continuous, the pot smoke was pretty heavy at times. As a former frequent user, I get it. There are times I think about lighting up and putting Zanadu and the headphones, but I'm over that now. I don;t think its any more obnoxious than a cigarrette.
It became a good time for me to tell the kids, "that's what pot smells like."
The good news is the boys were VERY bothered by the weed and IMO will not be interested in trying it going forward. THANKS POT HEADS!
-
we had the bast time ever. LVS and WM were un-be-leivable. I'm serious, I have rarely seen tham that good. My 14 year old son was in awe! Thanks for the best time ever guys!
-
I think it was Eastwood's Bronco Billy
He and Sandra Locke were laying in bed after sex and she says "were you ever married?"
CE: yep, i was married once
SL: what happened?
CE: I caught her in bed in with my best friend
SL: OMG, what did you do?
CE: I shot her
SL: WHat? Really? What about him? You shoot him too?
CE: No
SL: Why not?
CE He's my best friend!
-
QUOTE (g under p @ Sep 28 2010, 07:24 PM) Well I'm certainly glad they won't have to play through this tropical depression with it's wind and 4 inches of rain. It will be long gone by Saturday. its still a 50% chance of rain!
-
QUOTE (D3strukt @ Sep 28 2010, 08:00 AM) I was going to go. But unfortunately, it's pretty far, 3 hour drive, from Orlando.
It suck!
Sorry, Rush, I want to see you badly.PSH, I live in Orlando, Longwood actually...AND WE'RE GOING!
-
we'll be there. me plus 3. wife and two boys 12 & 14.
I like the earlier idea of meeting at Duffy's on Okeechobee Blvd. Only a couple miles from the venue and the best chicken wings in South FL. Their motto is Coldest Beer, Best Burgers. Shoot for 4PM outta there by 5:30-6:00.
-
I agree with Monkey boy, Geddy's voice is sailing south. It's wavering and cracking and ignoring it for nostalgia's sake is whistling past the microphone.
I love the man too, but it is what is. And it is a 60 year old vocal chords trying to hit notes that were incredibly high to begin with. Can't wait for the WPB show!
-
QUOTE (The Sphere @ Sep 9 2010, 07:35 AM) That's what I'm talking about! Thanks ENA - I'll check it out! Ybor is a fun night on the town. lots of local flavor tyoe bars that welcome strangers. No chains.
Mons Venus if youre into throwing mounds of cash at big boobies
-
I have given up on him. unless it gets rave reviews.
-
LIKE
-
Dont hold your breath. I found the door at SRO's team to be shut quite tightly despite our own efforts. I won't go into details. They did respond though.
-
another one
-
for the guy looking for inception info
-
there are two threads on Inception I beleive. One started by moi.
-
I'd like to know what kind of radio station is playing Caravan.Is this a classic rock station or one of the "new rock" stations.
Last RUSH tune I heard was Fly By Night and Limilight within a couple hours of each other. Few days ago. Classic rock statio here in Orlando
-
I'd contact the local AG. they love to take on crap like this. In FL we have FDLE, Florida Department of Law Enforcement. They handle scams like this as well as other big crimes like money laundering, racketeering etc. If you have an organization like this in CO, I'd call and ask for an investigator and express your concerns. Don't even bother with the locals.
-
QUOTE (southernjim @ Aug 23 2010, 11:04 PM) Anybody shot one of these? Looks like something off Star Trek, but i hear they're pretty nice small caliber pistols
http://www.berettausa.com/products/u22-neos-45/No but my friend has one and loves it!
-
QUOTE (WCFIELDS @ Aug 22 2010, 02:05 PM) QUOTE (briremo @ Aug 15 2010, 01:27 PM) I'll add one more reply...
If you go to any online review site, virtually any TV you click on will have dozens of reviews by owners of the TV's that say things like. "Best damn TV in the world" or "This TV looks amazing!". I don't care if it is the best or if it's a POS Vizio, Everyone wants to think they made the right purchase and for most people going to any HDTV from what they had is a step up so naturally they think it rocks the box.
But, if you talk to someone who's experienced with virtually EVERY TV on the market, is educated and unbiased, you usually get the stratight answer.
But YMMVNot trying to argue, because that is YOUR opinion, not a fact. Most other professionals in the industry have told me the opposite of what you've said though. I'm not an expert, but like I said earlier to me the LCD's today look better. I did tons of reasearch and went to several stores, environments etc....and my conclusion was unanimous.
Mr. Fields. Which 'most other professionals' say that LCD's are better? The 3 year veteran 21 year old floor punk at Best Buy or HHGregg? Or someone that calibrates displays for a living? Show me a quote from any ISF certified tech or magazine reviewer....
The bottom line is as of today;
1) plasma does NOT suffer from motion artifacts as LCD's still do.
2) plasma does not suffer from uneven backlighting as LCD's (but not LED's) often do.
3) plasma has deeper blacks (and some can produce 'blacker than black') which translates to better contrast ratios* than LCD.
4) plasma has BY FAR truer color reproduction than LCD, which BTW, fluctuates due to lamp life and panel temp. I know this because I calibrate displays for a living.
Now, LCD's are brighter and the new LED's are super slim, which is cool. But IN MY OPINION, having no motion artifacts, even image birghtness across the screen, deeper blacks and accurate color means a better picture.
In your opinion, a brighter picture means quality. I understand completely. Can I interest you in a state of the art Bose sound system?
I don't mean to argue either, but sometimes conventional wisdom flies in the face of the facts. Thus I present some facts. Beleive what you want.
*Note: Stated or spec'd contrast ratios mean squat. The numbers you see on the sales sheet are based on no standards. Do not go by any spec you see printed anywhere. Look at tests by reputable magazines, look at the TV in your normal viewing environment, not Best Buy's sales floor that is lit 7 times brighter than your family room or 12 times brighter than your bedroom.
peace!
Dear Abby...why is my wife
in New World Women
Posted
This situation is so close to my own that I had to look and make sure you're not my Hubby. Close, but there are other things at play with us and I won't go into it right now but... damn.
Here's one more thing to consider; it could be medical. I am a tad older than you (and, I assume, your wife) and peri-menopause has done quite a lot to mess up my hormones. This is something every woman goes through and we all deal with it differently. It's also possible that sex has become uncomfortable for her. That's another lovely side-effect. She might not want to see a doctor but it certainly wouldn't hurt. Express your concern that there may be a physical problem and you don't want her to be uncomfortable or, worse, in pain.
Consider also that she may be feeling guilty about not having sex as often as you would like. That guilt can be reinforced if she feels pressured about it. Then that feeds into lowered self-esteem and can make her feel as if she doesn't deserve you. So she then pushes you away. And it becomes a cycle that she doesn't know how to stop. You are doing the right thing by trying to "pamper" her, by telling her often that you love her, find her sexy, etc. But damned if we ladies can't listen harder to that inner voice, sometimes.
I know that it's difficult to be patient (I often think my guy is a freaking saint). From my experience, I can tell you that sometimes impatience can be tangible - you might not say anything but we ladies can feel it. I know you can't really do anything about that but it's something to be aware of.
So, I would advise trying to talk about it with her, as Geddy's Mullet says, at a "neutral" time. Keep in mind that it could be medical, as you do. I'm told that there is now a treatment for low libido in women. Depending upon her reaction to your talk, you might bring that up. Maybe she is the type who would prefer to check into that sort of thing on her own, and may do so if she knows about it.
I know how painful this is for you. And I can't recommend the things that have worked for me simply because our situation isn't exactly the same. But I can tell you that I sympathize more than you know. I hope our advice can help you both.
Great considerations.
I think you may be right about the guilt thing or at least the pressure because she's quite irritated when the subject is broached. And this stems from her own frustrations, distractions, pressures IMO
There is no physical discomfort. It's more of a matter of her mindset.
As a matter of fact, ya'll be happy to know she surprised me last night with a rockin' good time!
And this is what's so puzzling to me; when she has a great time like this, why not want to do it more than once a month?
As far as going away, I would love to get her away! Our kids are 12 & 14 and she has litterally been away from them three times in that time. Once for a funeral and once for an all girl cruise. We had a two day weekend together and all she could think about was the kids. We have frequent flyer miles, we have the resources for a little get away but she just won't do it. She says we can do that after the kids are gone.
And look, I love spending as much time as I can with the boys, they are a blast, but seriously. One weekend in 14 years? We need some time away for the two of us. We always vacation together, beach/ ski, summer road trips but nothing for "us".
Also, I do tend to sulk when I ain't gettin' any
and you're right, she does know when I'm in my funk. But her response isn't "let's have fun" it's more like "Oh OK, lets go do the deed so you'll get off my back."
Anywho, you guys have been awesome! I really appreciate the thoughtful expressions and understanding AND personal insights! It gives me more perspectives that I've condsidered, but honestly my libido is constantly screaming!