Neil's New Op-Ed Piece, Yukon Blade Grinder

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan

by Neil Ellwood Peart

 

It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column!

 

Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs!

 

Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross!

 

Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!!

 

Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man!

 

 

UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Obstreperous. Is that a cousin of ebola?

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Nah, it's product of Thesaurus. Certain types of writers do that... a lot.

[savagegrace26]

Neil's grammar has gone downhill since his last blog.

[laughedatbytime]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

[Lorraine]

I rather enjoyed this one. I didn't realize Neil and Spaghetti were so tight. All of his bad-mouthing Neil on the forum must be just a facade then. Edited September 9, 2014 by Lorraine

[Tombstone Mountain]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

Edited September 9, 2014 by Tombstone Mountain

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

 

Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it.

[Lorraine]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

 

Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it.

 

That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key.

[CygnusGal]

.. I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat...

Classic! :ebert:

 

Well played. :)

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

 

Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it.

 

That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key.

 

Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well.

[Lorraine]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

 

Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it.

 

That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key.

 

Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well.

 

But...who buys an Aston Martin and puts a bumper sticker on it???

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Where's the other 100,000 words?

Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit

 

Regards

TM

 

Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief

 

PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!!

 

Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it.

 

That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key.

 

Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well.

 

But...who buys an Aston Martin and puts a bumper sticker on it???

 

The same guy who puts ice cubes in Macallan, I guess. Good thing he does that, or the symptoms would be worse.

[Babycat]

Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan

by Neil Ellwood Peart

 

It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column!

 

Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs!

 

Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross!

 

Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!!

 

Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man!

 

 

UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right.

 

Love it! :P

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan

by Neil Ellwood Peart

 

It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column!

 

Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs!

 

Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross!

 

Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!!

 

Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man!

 

 

UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right.

 

Love it! :P

 

Thanks, Babycat! Neil's always a tough subject, of course. Sometimes we have to rely on those really... um, dedicated Rush fans who tend to go through his stuff now and then. Of course, we have to wait for the security clearances in the places where they find themselves as well in order to get any news of what they discover. Thankfully, they're easy to spot once you get to their cell blocks because they're always the last ones picked to join any of the gangs.