The Yukon Blade Grinder Corrections Thread

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

YUKON BLADE GRINDER: Corrections Page #1

 

Readers and Rush fans know that we at the Yukon Blade Grinder always strive for our absolute best interpretations of The Facts™. However, despite our seemingly immaculate reputation, even our stellar, award-winning work (Longest Rushgoober Coverage Thread Ever, 2014. Excellent!), even we can be prone to the occasional error. So, just to clear up a few things, here are some corrections that we at the YBG have been meaning to get around to printing in a nice, bullet-pointed list just like this one:

 

• In our 2013 Swimsuit issue (“Geddy’s Still Got It… Sort Of”) we showed pictures of Today’s Hottest Rush Swimwear Merchandise on the beaches of Prince Edward Island. Unfortunately, the picture was one of over a hundred taken within a 12-hour period in the middle of January. We apologize to the families of the models and we promise that we will utilize Kickstarter for their funeral expenses.
  
• To the guy who keeps calling our offices saying that he has naked pictures of Alex Lifeson’s wife, stop it already. Seriously, Alex, we at the Yukon Blade Grinder are starting to worry about you.
  
• The story that we ran about archaeologists unearthing residue from a spacecraft full of extraterrestrial Rush fans did not compute with the facts. We puny humans apologize for the error and assure our fellow puny humans that no such beings exist. Now please put down that ray gun.
  
• One of the articles on Rushgoober’s disappearance (“Goober’s Headlong Flight”) described Pope Francis as a Rush fanatic. The Vatican has since denied this claim, stating that, “The lyrics of this Canadian rock band preach a level of personal expeditiousness that runs contradictory to The Church’s virtues of humility. Also, that dickhead Neil Peart totally ignored us and didn’t even sign our LP’s. How are we supposed to pay off our legal expenses on eBay with copies signed by only two members of the band? F**k those guys!”
  
• And finally, this is not a correction for us, but Aikenrooster totally misspelled “Country music” in the worst way possible on a recent thread. We at the Yukon Blade Grinder are still laughing our asses off at that one.
  

[Tombstone Mountain]

You are golden young lady. Thanks for making my day.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Hey Grinder chick—you so crazy! Me love you long time!

[Tombstone Mountain]

What about Flava Flav and his role as "The Watchmaker" for the historic Clockwork Angels tour? He never appeared onstage with Rush. Was that just some cockamamie story, or was it derailed for some reason? The YBG predicted dwarfs would be involved, that happened during a video segment...why no Flav appearance? Edited May 7, 2014 by Tombstone Mountain

[Tombstone Mountain]

YUKON BLADE GRINDER: Corrections Page #1

 

Readers and Rush fans know that we at the Yukon Blade Grinder always strive for our absolute best interpretations of The Facts™. However, despite our seemingly immaculate reputation, even our stellar, award-winning work (Longest Rushgoober Coverage Thread Ever, 2014. Excellent!), even we can be prone to the occasional error. So, just to clear up a few things, here are some corrections that we at the YBG have been meaning to get around to printing in a nice, bullet-pointed list just like this one:

 

• In our 2013 Swimsuit issue (“Geddy’s Still Got It… Sort Of”) we showed pictures of Today’s Hottest Rush Swimwear Merchandise on the beaches of Prince Edward Island. Unfortunately, the picture was one of over a hundred taken within a 12-hour period in the middle of January. We apologize to the families of the models and we promise that we will utilize Kickstarter for their funeral expenses.
  
• To the guy who keeps calling our offices saying that he has naked pictures of Alex Lifeson’s wife, stop it already. Seriously, Alex, we at the Yukon Blade Grinder are starting to worry about you.
  
• The story that we ran about archaeologists unearthing residue from a spacecraft full of extraterrestrial Rush fans did not compute with the facts. We puny humans apologize for the error and assure our fellow puny humans that no such beings exist. Now please put down that ray gun.
  
• One of the articles on Rushgoober’s disappearance (“Goober’s Headlong Flight”) described Pope Francis as a Rush fanatic. The Vatican has since denied this claim, stating that, “The lyrics of this Canadian rock band preach a level of personal expeditiousness that runs contradictory to The Church’s virtues of humility. Also, that dickhead Neil Peart totally ignored us and didn’t even sign our LP’s. How are we supposed to pay off our legal expenses on eBay with copies signed by only two members of the band? F**k those guys!”
  
• And finally, this is not a correction for us, but Aikenrooster totally misspelled “Country music” in the worst way possible on a recent thread. We at the Yukon Blade Grinder are still laughing our asses off at that one.
  

A+. Gets better every time I've read it.

 

You are a legitimate phenomenon—Bill Murray, Ghostbusters

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

What about Flava Flav and his role as "The Watchmaker" for the historic Clockwork Angels tour? He never appeared onstage with Rush. Was that just some cockamamie story, or was it derailed for some reason? The YBG predicted dwarfs would be involved, that happened during a video segment...why no Flav appearance?

 

Turns out Flav was pretty busy with the dwarves in his own private lounge. We can't give explicit details, but rumor has it that Neil walked in on them and hasn't been able to write about food like he used to.