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Can We Talk About Concert Etiquette?


sun dog
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In general I think Rush fans are among the coolest people I've met. I love sharing a little time and space with like-minded people at shows. And most everyone who goes to a show is just there to have a good time and not cramp anyone else's experience. But there are a few things that wear on me a bit, and I suspect that there are others who have some of the same complaints.

 

For me, one of the offenders is smartphones. I usually don't even bring mine to the show anymore, but if I do, I turn it off during the show. I'm certainly not saying that I think everyone should do that, and I think everyone, including myself, understands that people will want some pics or some movies. So for me this is really a matter of degree. Do it some, by all means. No reasonable person could complain about that. Just don't do it all night. More and more I'm hearing a similar sort of response, like the one that Lost in Translation director Sophia Coppola offered a while back:

 

When I go to a concert, everyone is filming and photographing themselves and then posting the pictures right away. It is almost as if your experiences don’t count unless you have an audience watching them.

 

Whatever happened to just enjoying the experience? I'm not a luddite, and I'm not saying that it's always a bad thing. I'm strictly talking about the level of use, which seems to be ever ticking upward. In Cleveland in 2010, I had great seats, but there was a very tall couple in front of me (and I'm six feet tall), both of whom insisted on shooting videos, arms raised high, for most of the night. Why they had to do that when there would be DVD of the show I'll never know. And this kind of thing happens all the time now. What's the big deal, some of you may ask? Well, for one thing, I don't want a bloody screen blocking part of my view of the stage for long periods of time, or for much of the night. It's distracting. And it's only three hours. We live with these machines every hour of every day. Seems to me we could put them away now and again.

 

And other thing that surprises me is just using the phones, and in this case specifically when you're sitting right up front. Hey, you guys are cool and everything, but I've really got to check my News Feed. Don't want to miss anything so I'm just going to... oh hey, sweet fill Neil, that's really, uh... check it out, I just got a tweet from... and on and on like that. I have seen that SO many times in the first few rows of shows. I'm not saying that the band should demand our undivided attention for the entire time. Again, I'm talking about the level of use. There's a huge difference between checking it and putting it away... and taking a bunch of pics and vids and sending them out and waiting for the responses and taking some more and sending a text and... being so stuck on those f*cking things that they have to be a part of standing in front of the best band in the world!

 

Also, and this also specifically relates to sitting right up front, is it a little weird to have someone take your picture with the guys playing in the background? Am I the only one who thinks that it's objectifying the band a little, like they're bears at the zoo or something? Just take a picture of them. Do you have to be in it? Maybe they don't give a shit, I don't know, though I have seen Al or Ged back up in those cases, as if to say no thanks.

 

And another thing is crowding and/or crashing. Sometimes it's no problem at all. Two empty seats nearby, somebody grabs them, good. And fitting someone else who's smaller into your space, like your son or your wife/girlfriend? That's cool. But jamming yourself into a space where you really don't fit? Not so much. This just happened to me this year. There were two empty seats nearby, which me and others left alone in case it was just someone who was late. Soon two guys came and all was well for set one. They leave for drinks, set two begins, and two other guys come and fill the spots. Then the first two guys come back, and though they had been snaked, they jam into the same area. So we've got four guys occupying two seats, and none of the four are telling anyone else to leave because, clearly, none of them are holding those tickets. So I'm left to either (a) make a big problem of it and demand to see their tickets, or (b) suck it up and stand there like a sardine, thinking about whether to say piss off in an environment where no one can hear.

 

And another time a guy just wandered across the fourth row, stopping occasionally, taking the temperatures of the people in the row, to see if they would tell him to bugger off. He made it to me and I got right in his ear and politely said "what in the F*CK?" He moves on, tries it again, and again. Look, I know everyone wants a shot at a good seat, regardless of whether they can pay for it, but patience and persistence can accomplish that. And the other side of the coin is that people pay hard-earned money for this tiny little space (and often much more when counting travel expenses), and they should be able to enjoy it without having to fend people off all night. Not everyone who sits up close is loaded. Some people have just decided that if they have any extra money, they're going to spend it on this, because it means that much to them.

 

To reiterate what I said at the beginning, very few Rushies behave this way. Almost everyone is cool and respectful and great to hang with for the night. And I've mostly had great experiences at shows, but, and my Rush bud agrees with this, there is a clear relationship between the level of distraction and the quality of the experience. Fair enough?

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I agree with both points!!

 

PHONES: at the Cheap Trick show last month, I had a great view of the stage from where I was standing. Everyone- and I mean everyone- around me made room for me to move forward with my daughter so she could sit on my shoulders, hang onto the barricade to lift herself up, dance around, whatever. Nobody minded.

Suddenly this big guy- tall & big- shoved his way past me, almost bowled Lucy over, and held up what must have been a freaking mini tablet or whatever the f*** it was. The screen was huge and directly in front of my face.

It was loud, but I screamed "OI! GET OUTTA HERE!!!!" right in his ear and he scurried away.

 

-___-

 

Myself and my husband saved up for a long time for the Rush and CT shows we saw this year. Every penny was hard-earned, time asked off from work months in advance, hotel rooms booked in advance, etc.

I'm not about to give up my seats to some big guy bullying his way through with a freaking tv screen in front of my face. Ain't happening.

 

And I am hard to offend and very peaceful, but man, that just angered me! Especially once he almost knocked my child to the ground! mama bear *almost* made an appearance!

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Some good points, sun dog!

 

I agree with a lot that you've said. Especially the quote: When I go to a concert, everyone is filming and photographing themselves and then posting the pictures right away. It is almost as if your experiences don’t count unless you have an audience watching them. I don't understand the need for other people to be witnessing what that person is doing RIGHT NOW, as if it's the most important thing ever. And as for people taking photos with the band in the background - I don't really get that, either. You're right, it does seem kind of seem like the Rush guys are turned into exhibitions by this - I don't want a photo of me and, say, Geddy, if he's in the background and not really part of the shot, because he's NOT part of the shot. I can't pretend this is other than an objectified photo. I have seen some photos where someone's back is to the stage, and, say, Geddy is rocking out on bass, oblivious to the photo being taken, and the caption is something like, "Me and Geddy at the xxxx concert!!" Geddy is not a friend posing in a friend's photo, nor has he given permission to have a photo taken 'with' him - it's a little creepy, actually. But to each their own.

 

And as for people taking lots and lots of photos / videos: I agree that it can be obsessive, and even obnoxious. There's got to be a line between 'being in the moment' and 'not being in the moment because I'm too busy trying to capture the moment'. Personally, I really do like trying to capture the moment, but try to be in that balance. I will not take photos or videos in a way that will mar others' experience at a concert - I will do so without raising a camera over my head or standing up on my chair or something. I want the photo momentos for ME. Not for plastering on facebook a few seconds later. I'm actually not that keen on sharing photos - they are represntative of MY moments and are unique to ME, and may not mean much to others. This past tour, I also invested in a really zoomy camera just so I could get some good photos, rather than not-so-great cell-phone photos. And the one song that I recorded - 'The Anarchist' - I did by holding my camera close to my body, chin-height, so as not to distract anyone, but the guy next to me made fun of me and talked loudly to me so that I have his voice immortalized on film. He didn't need to do that - I wasn't bothering anyone or anything except his own notion of what's apparently not acceptable. I should have bumped him to spill his beer on himself.

 

During my last show, I noticed the two guys in front of me sitting down and looking at one guy's phone. I glanced down to notice that they were checking out a beer brewery. I remember feeling irked that they were doing this in a middle of a Rush show. Couldn't this have waited until intermission? It wasn't personally bothering me, other than the distracting glow of the screen, so whatever, but still.... It's a freakin' RUSH SHOW! Take photos with cell phones, fine, but put those damn things away if the urge to scope out breweries hits you!

 

 

To add to concert etiquette: if you are deciding it's a good idea to drink beer copiously at a concert, make sure you can handle it, in such a way so that you don't spill on your seat neighbours. I didn't exactly get drenched, but I could have done without the drips and sloshes I got splattered on my dress and down my leg. Also, keep your smoking (of cigarettes or otherwise) to times where you're not trapped like sardines and your smoking isn't going to bother your neighbours - I don't like having to feel a bit nauseous because my neigbour has decided he must smoke many joints as well as drink lots of beer, and the smell of weed happens to turn my stomach a bit. In hindsight, I could have simply asked him to cut it out, but I was polite and didn't want to cause a scene.

 

So, what's great at a Rush concert? Lots of enthusiastic people that will cheer their hearts out - not in an obnoxious way like my other seat neighbour tended to do - and not bother others with what their behaviour, whether they want to take photos or have a smoke or drink beer. And paying attention to the guys on stage that are playing such awesome music!

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I think smartphones are everywhere now. Some people even sit and fiddle with it during dinner, or they take picture of everything you do with them, and upload it onto Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Years ago on playgrounds I would see parents engaging in their kids play, but now most of them just sit and stare at their phones. What breaks my heart is watching 3 year olds running around with ipads. To me that seems like lazy parenting, and forgive me if I'm wrong, which I probably am since I'm not a parent. I only know I would not give my kids any tablets or smartphones. Heck, they need to climb trees and fall down, run around outside and scrape their knees and stuff like that. Be kids and play.

 

I have one myself, but I have set myself some rules:

 

1. Leave it in my pocket when eating together with other people.

2. Do not document everything for Facebook.

3. Disable sound.

4. Leave it in my pocket when out. Can't stand watching people walking around mind numbingly gazing at their mobil phones. If I need to check something out, I stop to check it out, then I put it away and keep walking.

 

As to concerts; I usually take very, very few pictures and no video. I can always spot 5 people shooting video so I figure I can find it on Youtube anyway. :)

I don't smoke pot around other people, and getting paranoid doing it with people all around me would be waste of good weed, and I barely drink to concerts anymore because I don't want to go to the toilets all the time. The only thing I could annoy people with is my height, and while I do try to position myself best way possible, there's nothing I can do about it. If someone very short is behind me I might ask the person to stand before me.

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Cellphones at concerts are annoying but cellphones in a movie theater are unbearable. You've got a bright light in a dark room and your making loud tapping noises on it. Put that thing away and enjoy your evening.

 

This. Those things drive me crazy! Dark room, little lit up rectangular screen - distracting to say the least..! And popcorn. And crinkly bags. And "yap-yap-yap" all in the quiet moments...

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I rarely go to concerts, and when I do I usually have crappy seats because I can't afford good ones. So I will take a couple pictures, but I won't sit and text, call, film, etc the entire time.
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I've learned to block out the little rectangular screens. I don't see the point of recording/taking pictures with the phone. The quality is crap. Sure, snap a few photos -- but the entire concert...really?!

 

As for the seat thing, I know that feeling. You want to tell them to get the hell out but don't want to risk a fight.

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Always try to be a little drunker than the people around you.. Better buggin than bugged I always say.. (I'm kidding of course!)

 

Seriously though nothing ever bothers me at a Rush show, how could it??

 

I would say sit as close to the band as you can and don't look back. Make sure your glass is half full and not half empty. If you smoke weed (and I know you do) have a nice hoot outside, not enough to get stoned but just enough to "turn off and tune in".. and for gods sake don't blow smoke at Goober!

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I guess that in an era when Beyoncé gets to headline festivals the whole dynamic of concert-going is bound to change. People constantly getting out of their seats to go for beer, food or whatever really pisses me off and being urged to party by some drunken fuckwit or my sight being blocked by some selfish tw** standing on his seat is bound to get a negative reaction from me.

 

I used to be taking pictures constantly at gigs until I realised how much it pissed people off and more so stopped me from really getting into the performance.

 

 

 

 

 

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No audience members should have electronic devices of any kind in the concert hall - it is just RUDE

Does that include my pacemaker? :P

 

The thrill of watching Geddy, Alex and Neil will be enough to keep you alive for the duration of the concert.

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What really turned me off during the Vancouver show in July was having three guys leave for beer during Neil's first drum solo. They all left about 20 seconds apart and got pissed off at me and the guy beside me for telling them to stop distracting us from Neil and all his awesomeness.
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I think this topic brings up a bigger overall point...

 

some people who go to concerts care more about food, drinks and using their phones than they do about the actual show in front of them...

 

for me, the three hours of a rush show is why I am there....

 

before a show i don't eat or drink so i don't have to worry about the bathroom...

 

i love when i am in the first few rows, the show is going on, and some guy is trying to squeeze back to his seat and he has this whole tray full of food, like nachos or other stuff that requires you to look down and pay attention to what you are doing....

 

i get having food at a ballgame....a beer and a hotdog during a baseball game is pretty normal, the game has a pace to it, you are sitting there watching the game, enjoying the evening with a drink and some food...

 

but do you really need those nachos during a rush show?

 

i thought the idea of a rock concert was to lose yourself in the music, maybe do a fist pump into the air, bounce up and down a bit, not hurrying to grab a napkin cause you just spilled nacho cheese sauce on your shirt....

 

my attitude is that i didn't just drive all the way to this city and pay all this money for a ticket to care about food or drinks during a rush show, plenty of time to grab a meal after the show....

 

and don't get me started with the phone nonsense, you can't stop it, but its really out of control...

 

watch this Louis C.K. clip -----this is what society has become with our smartphones and ipads...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd2sRC3K9Hs

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I'm not too annoyed by people filming or taking pictures, but texting for most of the concert annoys the hell out of me. other than that, do whatever you want at a rush show without being a dick

 

sometimes it annoys me when I get really into a song that nobody else in the crowd seems to care about (like territories or grand designs or something like that) but that doesn't really matter or affect my enjoyment of the show

Edited by bathory
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I think this topic brings up a bigger overall point...

 

some people who go to concerts care more about food, drinks and using their phones than they do about the actual show in front of them...

 

for me, the three hours of a rush show is why I am there....

 

before a show i don't eat or drink so i don't have to worry about the bathroom...

 

i love when i am in the first few rows, the show is going on, and some guy is trying to squeeze back to his seat and he has this whole tray full of food, like nachos or other stuff that requires you to look down and pay attention to what you are doing....

 

i get having food at a ballgame....a beer and a hotdog during a baseball game is pretty normal, the game has a pace to it, you are sitting there watching the game, enjoying the evening with a drink and some food...

 

but do you really need those nachos during a rush show?

 

i thought the idea of a rock concert was to lose yourself in the music, maybe do a fist pump into the air, bounce up and down a bit, not hurrying to grab a napkin cause you just spilled nacho cheese sauce on your shirt....

 

my attitude is that i didn't just drive all the way to this city and pay all this money for a ticket to care about food or drinks during a rush show, plenty of time to grab a meal after the show....

 

and don't get me started with the phone nonsense, you can't stop it, but its really out of control...

 

watch this Louis C.K. clip -----this is what society has become with our smartphones and ipads...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd2sRC3K9Hs

 

you've gotta understand though, while I'm with you on most of that, most people who go to concerts aren't hardcore fans like we are. the majority of people at a rush concert are casual fans, and the majority of concert-goers in general (especially with the bigger, more established arena groups) are people who might've been into the music moreso at one point in their lives but are really just looking for something to do on a friday night or whatever. they're not there to absorb the music of rush and have some transcendental moment or some shit, they're there to get out of the house for a few hours and get a few snapshots, have a few brews, chat with their buddies, etc. and while it might slightly annoy me that there are people buying rush tickets who don't like or haven't heard anything after the early 80s and are really just there to kill time, hear the hits, and eat hot dogs, but there's nothing we can do about it.

 

and I guess I can understand the mentality of some of these people. I don't like anything KISS or aerosmith have put out since the 70s, but if I lived 30 minutes away from a concert they were doing, I'd probably go, and since their music doesn't mean as much to me as rush or iron maiden or yes or a band like that, I'd probably get more f*cked up before the show and indulge in some 9 dollar nachos or something, because I wouldn't care as much about what was going on in front of me.

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I think smartphones are everywhere now. Some people even sit and fiddle with it during dinner, or they take picture of everything you do with them, and upload it onto Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Years ago on playgrounds I would see parents engaging in their kids play, but now most of them just sit and stare at their phones. What breaks my heart is watching 3 year olds running around with ipads. To me that seems like lazy parenting, and forgive me if I'm wrong, which I probably am since I'm not a parent. I only know I would not give my kids any tablets or smartphones. Heck, they need to climb trees and fall down, run around outside and scrape their knees and stuff like that. Be kids and play.

 

 

My 3 year old asked me for an ipod recently. My response?

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! NO."

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Speaking of concert etiquette, my pet peeve is for those scrims when the lads toss t-shirts. In Red Deer I was lucky enough to make a clean catch of a shirt tossed by Geddy. The absolute highlight of a wonderful evening. Pissant beside me snatches it from my two-hand grip and stuffs it in his shirt. That kind of thing just grinds my gears.
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