Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- Best Garak Quotes

[AFarewellToHemispheres]

Thought I'd start this fun little topic seen as Garak has so many good lines in the show. My current favourite is from "Way of the Warrior"-

 

(Klingon says something to Odo in Klingon assuming they won't understand the insult)

Garak: Actually I don't believe Constable Odo has a mother.

(Klingon looks shocked that Garak knows Klingon. They walk off)

Odo: I didn't know you spoke Klingon.

Garak: Oh, You'd be surprised at the things you can learn when you're doing alterations.

 

Would love to know other peoples favourite lines.

[Your_Lion]

Love Garak, and I think this is from the same episode as yours.

 

Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!

Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

Bashir: Garak, this isn't funny.

Garak: I'm serious, doctor! Thanks to your administrations, I'm almost completely healed, but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.

[USB Connector]

I think you two got the best ones. I'd like to add in a few as well:

 

When Garak visits Bashir in his 007 program:

Bashir: I work for one of the nation states of this era, Great Britain, which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War. This apartment, my clothes, weapons, even my valet were provided to me by my government.

Garak: I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.

 

------------------

 

Garak: Or am I wrong? Tell me, is there one person in this universe that you care about? One person that is more to you than just an interesting puzzle to be solved. Is there, Odo, anyone?

Odo: If there were, I certainly wouldn't tell you.

Garak: And that - would be a wise decision.

 

--------

 

Not really Garak's line exactly, but I love this exchange:

 

 

Quark: I want you to try something. It's an Earth drink. Root beer.

Garak: I couldn't...

Quark: Go on.

Garak: It's vile!

Quark: It's so happy and bubbly and cloy.

Garak: Just like the Federation.

Quark: You know what's worse? If you drink enough of it, you start to like it.

Garak: It's insidious.

Quark: Just like the Federation.

[AFarewellToHemispheres]

This one is also great from Improbable Cause. It's not just the lines that are great but Andrew Robinson's performance, he injects every line with a nuance.

 

Sisko: Someone tried to kill you, Garak. Whoever it was may try again, so if I were you, I would give this matter some serious thought. Garak: Well, let me see. I mean, there's the Nausicaan whose wedding suit I misplaced; and the Yridian I owe money to; and of course, there's always Major Kira.

Dr. Bashir: This is serious, Garak.

Garak: I'm being serious. I don't think she likes me.

Odo: She doesn't. But if she wanted you dead, you would be.

Garak: You do have a point.

[Your_Lion]

From Distant Voices:

 

Garak: What I find interesting is how your mind ended up casting me in the role of the villain.

Doctor Bashir: Oh, I wouldn't read too much into that, Garak.

Garak: Oh, how can I not? To think, after all this time, all our lunches together, you still don't trust me.....There's hope for you yet, Doctor.

[furie]

"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"

"My dear Doctor, they're all true."

"Even the lies?"

"Especially the lies."

 

 

"Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?"

"Of course. What else could it be?"

"That you should never tell the same lie twice."

- Garak and Bashir discussing the moral of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" (DS9: "Improbable Cause")

 

 

 

and my favorite:

 

 

"Do you know what the sad part is, Odo? I'm a very good tailor."

Edited August 26, 2013 by furie

[AFarewellToHemispheres]

From Body Parts:

 

Quark: You weren't always a tailor.

 

Garak: No you're right, I used to be a gardener. So if you need anything weeding, you let me know.

Edited August 30, 2013 by AFarewellToHemispheres