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I Should Have Done More


Mr. Not
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Pulling an all-nighter at a friend's house, I was hungry while he was asleep and his kitchen bare. I went down to McDonalds just not too long ago to buy myself breakfast (6:30 AM). After finishing my breakfast, throwing it away and leaving, a homeless man asked a favor of me, his voice weak. He looked up at me, revealing the gruesome cut on his nose. He asked for any change I had. I told him I didn't have any, and that's when he said he hadn't eaten in three days. I kind of doubted that to be frank, but regardless I pulled out my credit card and told him I'd buy him some food. I ended up simply buying a dollar breakfast burrito, handing it to him, then leaving.

 

I should have bought him a meal, sat down with him, and talked... Told him where in town to go to for help. Asked him if there was anything he'd like to share with me. Did I do more than other people would? Well sure, the McDonalds employees wouldn't give him any food or buy a meal for him, I know this much. I thought about this but immediately rejected the thought as one of justification. Because it's petty. I'm not to compare myself to others. I'm to be comparing what I did to what I claim (or think, more like) to stand for morally. And I fell short. Big time.

 

At this point, I'm just hoping he runs into someone who's even more considerate than I was to help him. Next time I'm faced with a situation like this I hope to handle it better. Who knows, I may even run into this same man again.

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Let me offer a flip side. In my younger days I pulled up to a stop light down in the city and a pretty sickly looking guy was standing on the corner with your typical "homeless - need food" cardboard sign. He certainly looked the part and in my youthful naivety, I took pity. I put my window down and motioned to him to come over and take an apple that I had with me as part of my lunch. He took the apple and said "god bless you". As I pulled away I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man walk over to a trash can and throw the apple away. Never again.

 

 

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QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Sep 28 2012, 07:27 AM)
Let me offer a flip side. In my younger days I pulled up to a stop light down in the city and a pretty sickly looking guy was standing on the corner with your typical "homeless - need food" cardboard sign. He certainly looked the part and in my youthful naivety, I took pity. I put my window down and motioned to him to come over and take an apple that I had with me as part of my lunch. He took the apple and said "god bless you". As I pulled away I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man walk over to a trash can and throw the apple away. Never again.

I wouldn't assume the worst.

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QUOTE (Mr. IsNot @ Sep 28 2012, 10:34 AM)
QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Sep 28 2012, 07:27 AM)
Let me offer a flip side.  In my younger days I pulled up to a stop light down in the city and a pretty sickly looking guy was standing on the corner with your typical "homeless - need food" cardboard sign.  He certainly looked the part and in my youthful naivety, I took pity.  I put my window down and motioned to him to come over and take an apple that I had with me as part of my lunch.  He took the apple and said "god bless you".  As I pulled away I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man walk over to a trash can and throw the apple away.  Never again.

I wouldn't assume the worst.

And see, I always assume the worst. It goes with experience I guess. I am guessing you are pretty young.

 

 

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You did more than most would have done. I've done the same thing myself a few times.

 

A while back we were leaving a restaurant where a homeless man had asked for chnge for food when we were entering. We bought him some food after we ate and tired to give it to him. He asked "what is it?" We told him it was a meat pie. He said "No, I don't want that I had burger king for lunch". We walked away. He was there about a month later when we went back to the restaurant (it's his "area") and again asked for change. My wife looked at him and said no, we aren't giving you anything, last time we were here we bought food for you and you refused it, and we walked away from him.

 

 

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QUOTE (Digital Man @ Sep 28 2012, 10:49 AM)
You did more than most would have done. I've done the same thing myself a few times.

A while back we were leaving a restaurant where a homeless man had asked for chnge for food when we were entering. We bought him some food after we ate and tired to give it to him. He asked "what is it?" We told him it was a meat pie. He said "No, I don't want that I had burger king for lunch". We walked away. He was there about a month later when we went back to the restaurant (it's his "area") and again asked for change. My wife looked at him and said no, we aren't giving you anything, last time we were here we bought food for you and you refused it, and we walked away from him.

We did something similar and stopped at a nearby fast food place and picked out a nice grilled chicken sandwich because we figured that was healthier, went to give it to the guy and he said - "I asked for money, not food. I just ate." He ended up getting nothing.

 

Also got flagged down on my way to work a young lady was "out of gas" and asked for some money to get back home. I gave her $5 and said "if you're out of gas, how are you going to get to the gas station?" She said she had about a gallon left and will be ok. I left on to work, and talked to a number of people that all stopped to give her some money. Later in the week, on the local radio morning show, they were talking about this exact same thing and HUNDREDS of calls and text came in saying they got scammed by the exact same scenario in different parts of the city.

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My first job ever was at a McDonald's back in 1996, there used to be this homeless man that came around a few times a week. Usually he order a coffee and a something small to eat with it. What he ordered I guess depended on how much money he was able to scrounge up in the days between coming into the resturant. I used to refer to him as "Aqalung" because his appearance reminded me of the guy on the Jethro Tull album cover.

 

He would come in and eat and use the sink in the bathroom to clean himself up as best he could. He seemed like a nice enough guy though he never said much of anything but still I learned right away not to buy anything for him. I did it once when I was new, since I was young I thought I was doing the right thing. But my manager quickly brought up an excellent point, she said if I did that once that he would be expecting it from me all the time. This is the main thing to worry about with homeless people, if you're nice to them once they may expect it again next time your paths cross. Just be careful, a lot of them are really homeless but there are still people who will dress the part just to take advantage of people's kindness. Who knows, next time a homeless person asks you for some money, you could walk up to give him some change and he might pull a gun out and rob you. Be very careful, some of these guys out there aren't on the up and up.

 

I was driving past the McDonald's where I used to work about a year or so ago and guess who I saw walking down the street near there? The same homeless guy that used to come into the resturant. Some 15 years later he's still living in that neighborhood somewhere doing whatever he does to get by.

Edited by J2112YYZ
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You did all you could at the time..no need for the quilt.

Some a*s-bites say F off, and walk away.

 

 

"No good deed goes unrewarded..."

And

" No bad deed goes un-punished..."

 

It's 2 of the laws of the universe.

 

 

If there were more people that did what you did,

we wouldn't have people hungry and homeless,

in the streets and in the world today. I've given

spare change many times to the homeless over the yrs.

 

Some of them go to the liquor store, but not all of them.

I was homeless for 6 months, in the 80's, and I never

went to the store to buy booze. I can relate to what they're goin thru.

It's a real tough life/situation...Your constantly on the move,

and constantly on guard, lookin' out for the cops or criminals.

 

 

new_thumbsupsmileyanim.gif applaudit.gif

Edited by go2wrk@95974
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QUOTE (Mr. IsNot @ Sep 28 2012, 09:34 AM)
QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Sep 28 2012, 07:27 AM)
Let me offer a flip side.  In my younger days I pulled up to a stop light down in the city and a pretty sickly looking guy was standing on the corner with your typical "homeless - need food" cardboard sign.  He certainly looked the part and in my youthful naivety, I took pity.  I put my window down and motioned to him to come over and take an apple that I had with me as part of my lunch.  He took the apple and said "god bless you".  As I pulled away I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man walk over to a trash can and throw the apple away.  Never again.

I wouldn't assume the worst.

There is no assumption made. He saw the guy throw away his apple.

 

And in regards to the OP...the fact that you bought the guy some food was a very nice gesture. If he had in fact not eaten in three days, you did more for the man than anyone else did in the last 72 hours. trink39.gif

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In downtown Boston, there is a popular scam people run where they approach people and say, after giving you a sad story about their predicament, that they need $5 for a cab ride to get their car out of a tow lot or for a bus to get home, often to someplace in MA, but fairly far from Boston. Sometimes they offer to send you the money, if you give them your name and address.

 

One time, several years ago, I advised the young man who approached me that he was in luck. I worked with the state police trooper whose vehicle happened to be parked at the end of the street. If he'd come with me, I'd have the trooper either drive him to the train station, or home, and I'm sure it would be no problem. His demeanor changed instantly. He backed away from me screaming, "You're not my f*cking father, get off my back."

 

True story.

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I think you did exactly what you felt led to do at the time and I commend you for doing so.

 

You have no idea what kind of impact your act of kindness may have had on that person.

 

Keep up the good work...it is good that we have kind people like you in the world!

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QUOTE (ReGorLaTroy @ Sep 28 2012, 05:24 PM)
I think you did exactly what you felt led to do at the time and I commend you for doing so.

You have no idea what kind of impact your act of kindness may have had on that person.

Keep up the good work...it is good that we have kind people like you in the world!

goodpost.gif

 

You did much more than most people would have.

 

We're all cynical these days. We tend to think the worst of people and doubt their motivations and their integrity. I've passed people with signs or out right asking for money without giving anything. They make me uncomfortable because I don't know what they REALLY want. I tend to be naive, so my mind tells me to not fall for it. You did something your heart told you to do, and you followed that voice without question. You, my friend, are a better person than I. I hope with all my heart that he appreciated your generous gift.

 

The big thing that has stuck with me in your story is the wound on his nose. How did he get that? That's really bothering me. I hope he's ok.

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There's a homeless woman that stands on the street near a restaurant that my family goes to often. She's always begging for money to stay at the shelter (which is, as far as I know, free to stay at) so we've always ignored her. One day we were the only ones in the restaurant and she came in and ordered a pizza. When she went to pay she pulled out a stack of twenties, paid, stuffed them back into her pocket, and went back outside. Because of that I've been pretty skeptical of homeless but I'll still give them a buck or whatever if I have anything. The guy that the OP mentioned sounded like he was truly homeless because of the nose injury.
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QUOTE (ColdFireYYZ @ Sep 28 2012, 07:10 PM)
There's a homeless woman that stands on the street near a restaurant that my family goes to often. She's always begging for money to stay at the shelter (which is, as far as I know, free to stay at) so we've always ignored her. One day we were the only ones in the restaurant and she came in and ordered a pizza. When she went to pay she pulled out a stack of twenties, paid, stuffed them back into her pocket, and went back outside. Because of that I've been pretty skeptical of homeless but I'll still give them a buck or whatever if I have anything. The guy that the OP mentioned sounded like he was truly homeless because of the nose injury.

That is deplorable. And, the reason I don't do anything. But, like you, I get the feeling that the guy the OP helped wasn't a scammer. I hope anyway.

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I used to work in a rather large mental health facility where all the residents/clients had been previously homeless. I'm 100% sure that NONE of them wanted to be homeless. How do I know? Well, because all of them stayed at the facility for as long as they possibly could [there were some politics behind how long they could stay]. Anyway, since the facility didn't have any lockdown rules (for longer-term residents anyway) they could've walked out and been homeless again if they wanted...but they NEVER did. And I'll never believe that most of those that are homeless want to be. Sure, there must be some that actually want to be homeless but that percentage must be rather low.

 

I don't know...people will f**k you over in any walk of life. But that shouldn't stop you from trying to do some good. And I think the op did some good (even if he thinks he could've done more).

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QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Sep 29 2012, 05:45 AM)
I used to work in a rather large mental health facility where all the residents/clients had been previously homeless. I'm 100% sure that NONE of them wanted to be homeless. How do I know? Well, because all of them stayed at the facility for as long as they possibly could [there were some politics behind how long they could stay]. Anyway, since the facility didn't have any lockdown rules (for longer-term residents anyway) they could've walked out and been homeless again if they wanted...but they NEVER did. And I'll never believe that most of those that are homeless want to be. Sure, there must be some that actually want to be homeless but that percentage must be rather low.

I don't know...people will f**k you over in any walk of life. But that shouldn't stop you from trying to do some good. And I think the op did some good (even if he thinks he could've done more).

I've been there...

 

...as the cool fall days come along each year and the nights start getting colder I am reminded just how fortunate and blessed I am.

 

A pastor let me sleep in the last pew of the church at night as long as I was out by morning before anyone got there in the morning.

 

I guess that is why this thread hit home.

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QUOTE (Amy Farrah Fowler @ Sep 28 2012, 07:43 PM)
Support your local food pantries, Goodwill and Salvation Army stores. They are there to help those in need who really want the help.

goodpost.gif

 

They help families in hard times, in the right way.

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QUOTE (goose @ Sep 29 2012, 07:49 PM)
QUOTE (Amy Farrah Fowler @ Sep 28 2012, 07:43 PM)
Support your local food pantries, Goodwill and Salvation Army stores.  They are there to help those in need who really want the help.

goodpost.gif

 

They help families in hard times, in the right way.

Your good intentions are wonderful for this one individual, but this helps the greater good for all homeless helpless people.

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I think you definitely did more than what most people would do.

 

Whenever I'm approached for change or a couple of bucks by someone who doesn't look too well off, if I have something to spare I usually just go ahead and give it to them. I really don't care what they end up using it for. After all, it's not going to affect me financially or personally so it's no skin off my nose.

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QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Sep 29 2012, 06:45 AM)
I used to work in a rather large mental health facility where all the residents/clients had been previously homeless. I'm 100% sure that NONE of them wanted to be homeless. How do I know? Well, because all of them stayed at the facility for as long as they possibly could [there were some politics behind how long they could stay]. Anyway, since the facility didn't have any lockdown rules (for longer-term residents anyway) they could've walked out and been homeless again if they wanted...but they NEVER did. And I'll never believe that most of those that are homeless want to be. Sure, there must be some that actually want to be homeless but that percentage must be rather low.

I don't know...people will f**k you over in any walk of life. But that shouldn't stop you from trying to do some good. And I think the op did some good (even if he thinks he could've done more).

The people I deal with generally don't WANT to live outdoors, they are just unwilling to abide by any rules required to live in a shelter. There are a couple of brothers I know that are homeless that actually do prefer it. They both were in 'Nam and just never adjusted to living here when they came back. They are actually pretty industrious in that they collect aluminum cans or anything else they can make money on. They are big time dumpster divers though and will eat just about anything they cnm find in the trash to spend their money on alcohol.

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I walk around panhandlers or anyone who looks like they might want something, even if it's only directions. I give them at least 20 feet. If they start saying anything to me, then I turn on my IPOD or cover my ears.

 

Last year this d**khead called me a f***in' b**ch when I didn't give him anything. Then I filed an online report with the police. He threatened me, so why not? I just avoid strangers as much as possible now.

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