smsterner94 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 This comes after I've had brain cancer, and my mom is currently partially paralyzed from a surgery gone wrong. My dad is not leaving for any of those reasons, he's just finally sick of being in a loveless marriage with my mom and he does not believe there is anything to reconcile. I've always known my parents didn't have a normal marriage, but it's been just recently that I found out how bad it truly is. Dad's not happy and I guess I don't really blame him, but it just doesn't make this any easier for me to deal with. They've been married for 25 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FountainOfSyrinx Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 QUOTE (smsterner94 @ Sep 10 2012, 04:54 PM) This comes after I've had brain cancer, and my mom is currently partially paralyzed from a surgery gone wrong. My dad is not leaving for any of those reasons, he's just finally sick of being in a loveless marriage with my mom and he does not believe there is anything to reconcile. I've always known my parents didn't have a normal marriage, but it's been just recently that I found out how bad it truly is. Dad's not happy and I guess I don't really blame him, but it just doesn't make this any easier for me to deal with. They've been married for 25 years. My mom passed away this past summer and I was close with her, so I understand the hardship in your life, to a certain extent. I'm also very young, 17. Just keep in mind that it is not about you, whatsoever. You are their prized possession no matter if they are together or apart. Marriage has become such a lackluster thing nowadays, and divorce is very common, so also keep in mind you're not alone. Life will go on, the sun will rise tomorrow, unless of course it's stormy, but even those clouds with clear up , and billions of people will begin their day, you included. Make it the best you possibly can. Your parents have led beautiful lives, and will continue to live beautiful lives, as have you. This won't change any of that. I wish you all the best, and feel free to ask anyone here on TRF for advice/help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edie Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I am sorry you're having a tough time. It's not clear from your post whether the split is amicable or not - of course it helps hugely if it can be, and if they are not trying to make you take sides. As already said, this isn't your fault, nor is it your responsibility to make your relationships with both of them work, but you sound as though you have a good attitude towards the situation which will help both them and you. My parents divorced when I was 17 (in 1983!!) and although I don't think either of them dealt very well with my brother and me at the time, we're fairly unscathed and certainly everyone's happier than they would have been if they stayed together. You will be OK. At the moment it's a shock and will be upsetting, and it's absolutely OK to be upset, but you will find a way through it. Does your school or college have counselling facilities? I think you have several good reasons to get some professional support through this. Good luck. And have a hug from one of your Rush aunties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyndseyG Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 My dad died when I was fourteen, so I've no personal experience. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 My parents divorced when i was six...since that time my mom remarried 4x's. dad remarried just once and still with his second wife. Since you are older the scars will not be as prevalent as with a younger child's experience. Enjoy the time with each of them when you can..tomorrow is promised to no one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Before my mother died when I was 24 and she was 55, she and my dad had a fraught marriage. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. If you need us, we're here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangsterfurious Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I don't really know what to say other than to offer you this little online hug and say I'm very sorry. My parents divorced when I was 4. They loved each other very much until they somehow both decided that their selfish desires were more important than loving the person they were married to. My dad decided other women and alcohol were more important, and my Mom decided that church and Jesus were more important. Try making those two people meet in the middle. Heh. These days you are lucky that you almost made it to adulthood and that your parents marriage remained intact with what you were going through. I am sad to hear people saying they just aren't "happy" anymore. We live in a society where "happiness" is the only emotion worth being felt and if you aren't "happy" then you are told to leave, get out, run!!! Has anybody mentioned counseling to them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 So how do you decide who to live with? Its a shame when the parents split...but just now they love you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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