Presto-digitation Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 "Hello my fans. I am humbled by the outpouring of support you've shown me. On this third round of negotiations my lawyers have sent to Ozzy's attorneys, here is how the reunion stands. Keep in mind I have nothing but respect for my former bandmates, so I wish to not speak in derogatory terms of them. However, the contract is still unsignable and I am breaking my silence to divulge the reasons why. It's unsignable because Sharon Osbourne only wanted to give Geezer and I five percent each, along with 10 percent for Tony. Mind you, I am not on the dole and I don't need a few quid that badly. I have my honor and as an original member of Black Sabbath I deserve to be shown respect. Might I add that Sharon also included some mighty rich stipulations to that contract as well. She never forgave me for leaving Ozzfest in 1997 and departing the next year due to health reasons. Bloody nonsense! She made sure that on any of the tour riders I would not get a vegan platter, plus she wanted me to walk Ozzy's twelve dogs before each show. To top it off, Sharon wanted us to do a version of "Changes" on the setlist that featured Kelly Osbourne dueting with Ozzy. I'm sorry mate, but that's where I draw the line. It was also in the contract that I would have to feature all these new commercial bands that Sharon manages on my monthly radio show on WPMD. What a load of horse bollocks. I can't handle that woman since she threw eggs at our mates in Iron Maiden years back, which upset me enough to leave that tour. The most unacceptable thing, in my opinion, was how Sharon's management team insisted that the new album we would put out should contain commercial sounding metal that would make it easier for us to get airplay. The boys and I were thinking of calling the new album "Doomination," but she thought the title was too limiting. So, at this point, the contract is still unsignable. Mind you, I am ready at any moment to board a plane from California to Birmingham if a proper contract with no degrading stipulations exists, one in which I'd also get a proper twenty-five percent." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adace1 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 April Fool's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormtron Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) The funny thing is even though this was an April Fools' story on Metal Underground, it's probably not too far off from the truth. Edited April 4, 2012 by Storm Shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielmclark Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 It had me right up to the vegan platter and walking the dogs. But everything else before and after that statement is completely plausible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-digitation Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I bet the real contract is worse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metaldad Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 QUOTE (danielmclark @ Apr 4 2012, 12:57 PM) It had me right up to the vegan platter and walking the dogs. But everything else before and after that statement is completely plausible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-digitation Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 02:52 PM) I bet the real contract is worse! No doubt. The fact that it even remotely sounds plausible says EVERYTHING about Sharon Osbourne's character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the masked drummer Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Totally had me until the dog walking and abundance of british smack... I'm sure it's about 5% for Bill, and "most of the money goes to advertisers, promotions, overhead. It all adds up, BIll. Sign here. IT's around $8m usd for jamming a few tunes..." -Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 QUOTE (Presto-digitation @ Apr 4 2012, 03:03 PM) QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 02:52 PM) I bet the real contract is worse! No doubt. The fact that it even remotely sounds plausible says EVERYTHING about Sharon Osbourne's character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchance to Dream Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 01:13 PM) QUOTE (Presto-digitation @ Apr 4 2012, 03:03 PM) QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 02:52 PM) I bet the real contract is worse! No doubt. The fact that it even remotely sounds plausible says EVERYTHING about Sharon Osbourne's character. Yoko Osbourne needs to STFU and let the band do its thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Owl Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 QUOTE (Perchance to Dream @ Apr 4 2012, 06:19 PM) QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 01:13 PM) QUOTE (Presto-digitation @ Apr 4 2012, 03:03 PM) QUOTE (treeduck @ Apr 4 2012, 02:52 PM) I bet the real contract is worse! No doubt. The fact that it even remotely sounds plausible says EVERYTHING about Sharon Osbourne's character. Yoko Osbourne needs to STFU and let the band do its thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metaldad Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website They only list the albums that Ozzy sang on They are playing with a drummer that is 30 something yrs younger than them. Sharon needs to die No Bill= No Sabbath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 09:54 AM) They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website They only list the albums that Ozzy sang on They are playing with a drummer that is 30 something yrs younger than them. Sharon needs to die No Bill= No Sabbath How about a Sharon-Gene Simmons death match? Cutting Bill out of the pics on the site sounds like something a 13 yr old girl would do. Edited May 19, 2012 by laughedatbytime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielmclark Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 They cut out non-Ozzy albums from the band's listed discography on their website? That's fking classless. They don't have to highlight them, they can even put the Ozzy albums on top and list the non-Ozzy albums in a section below, but to pretend they never happened? Classless. Which is about what I expect from these people these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielmclark Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 QUOTE (laughedatbytime @ May 19 2012, 09:55 AM) QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 09:54 AM) They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website They only list the albums that Ozzy sang on They are playing with a drummer that is 30 something yrs younger than them. Sharon needs to die No Bill= No Sabbath How about a Sharon-Gene Simmons death match? Cutting Bill out of the pics on the site sounds like something a 13 yr old girl would do. A 13-year-old girl or Eddie Van Halen. Either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 QUOTE (danielmclark @ May 19 2012, 10:07 AM) QUOTE (laughedatbytime @ May 19 2012, 09:55 AM) QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 09:54 AM) They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website They only list the albums that Ozzy sang on They are playing with a drummer that is 30 something yrs younger than them. Sharon needs to die No Bill= No Sabbath How about a Sharon-Gene Simmons death match? Cutting Bill out of the pics on the site sounds like something a 13 yr old girl would do. A 13-year-old girl or Eddie Van Halen. Either way. Eddie's a douche? Who knew? DWS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielmclark Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 QUOTE (laughedatbytime @ May 19 2012, 10:09 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ May 19 2012, 10:07 AM) QUOTE (laughedatbytime @ May 19 2012, 09:55 AM) QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 09:54 AM) They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website They only list the albums that Ozzy sang on They are playing with a drummer that is 30 something yrs younger than them. Sharon needs to die No Bill= No Sabbath How about a Sharon-Gene Simmons death match? Cutting Bill out of the pics on the site sounds like something a 13 yr old girl would do. A 13-year-old girl or Eddie Van Halen. Either way. Eddie's a douche? Who knew? DWS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barchetta90480 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 QUOTE (danielmclark @ May 19 2012, 05:04 PM) They cut out non-Ozzy albums from the band's listed discography on their website? That's fking classless. They don't have to highlight them, they can even put the Ozzy albums on top and list the non-Ozzy albums in a section below, but to pretend they never happened? Classless. Which is about what I expect from these people these days. That's because they messed the links up. The link called "albums" was meant to be called "Sabbath albums with Ozzy and a drummer who didn't want to be photographed". The link that got lost is called "Sabbath albums with acceptable singers". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick N. Backer Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 11:54 AM)They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website * * * No Bill= No Sabbath And, in fact, that's pretty much what Ozzy was saying a few years back when he sued Tony to get 50% of the rights to the Black Sabbath name, after he sold his 25% to Tony back in 1980. He put out open letters to Tony saying that "the original four" had to be together for it to be Black Sabbath. I guess he really meant it had to include him since the Dio line up was putting out music at the time. Shame on you, John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metaldad Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 QUOTE (Rick N. Backer @ May 19 2012, 01:42 PM) QUOTE (metaldad @ May 19 2012, 11:54 AM)They cut Bill out of the pix on the Sabbath website * * * No Bill= No Sabbath And, in fact, that's pretty much what Ozzy was saying a few years back when he sued Tony to get 50% of the rights to the Black Sabbath name, after he sold his 25% to Tony back in 1980. He put out open letters to Tony saying that "the original four" had to be together for it to be Black Sabbath. I guess he really meant it had to include him since the Dio line up was putting out music at the time. Shame on you, John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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