Lerxster Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodys hero Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodys hero Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 QUOTE (ILSnwdog @ Jun 14 2011, 10:17 AM) Entries in a dog's journal: 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer. 4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Entries in a cat's journal: DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodys hero Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I have both dogs and cats and love them both for their different qualities. I guess I've been lucky because I've had 4 cats and never did I have one bite me or just claw the hell out of me. My dog By-Tor is a garbage disposal...he will eat anything/everything he can including trash. Lucky for me he leaves all the remains OUTSIDE. Both my dogs and cats come to the door to greet me and I have a cat so smart if I spent the time with her I could probably teach her to roll over. She is the first cat I can give a command to such as go get your toy or go wake your mommy and she will. I love them both for different reasons and my life wouldn't be the same without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkus406 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Jun 15 2011, 07:13 AM) When was the last time you heard of a cat finding someone who was trapped in a collapsed building? Or pulling a sled thousands of miles to deliver desperately needed medicine to a remote Alaskan town? Or finding a shipment of narcotics disguised as children's toys? Or running down and subduing a fleeing felon? Or leading a blind man through busy city streets? Or going and fetching a wounded soldier's medicine from a refrigerator? Or finding hidden bombs designed to kill troops overseas? Or alerting an elderly couple that someone's on their front porch at three am? I thought not. When's the last time I needed a house pet to do any of those things? It's great at airports! But at home?... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tick Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 QUOTE (metaldad @ Jun 15 2011, 12:10 PM) Why are Dogs better than Cats ? Because Cats SUCK...................... If I had only known you felt this way sooner I would have had my cat kill you in your sleep when you were over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Jun 15 2011, 06:43 PM) QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Jun 15 2011, 07:13 AM) When was the last time you heard of a cat finding someone who was trapped in a collapsed building? Or pulling a sled thousands of miles to deliver desperately needed medicine to a remote Alaskan town? Or finding a shipment of narcotics disguised as children's toys? Or running down and subduing a fleeing felon? Or leading a blind man through busy city streets? Or going and fetching a wounded soldier's medicine from a refrigerator? Or finding hidden bombs designed to kill troops overseas? Or alerting an elderly couple that someone's on their front porch at three am? I thought not. When's the last time I needed a house pet to do any of those things? It's great at airports! But at home?... Your cat would sit and watch while the homicidal sociopath slaughtered your entire family. Then, after the bad guy was gone, he'd eat you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkus406 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (Mara @ Jun 15 2011, 08:55 PM) QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Jun 15 2011, 06:43 PM) QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Jun 15 2011, 07:13 AM) When was the last time you heard of a cat finding someone who was trapped in a collapsed building? Or pulling a sled thousands of miles to deliver desperately needed medicine to a remote Alaskan town? Or finding a shipment of narcotics disguised as children's toys? Or running down and subduing a fleeing felon? Or leading a blind man through busy city streets? Or going and fetching a wounded soldier's medicine from a refrigerator? Or finding hidden bombs designed to kill troops overseas? Or alerting an elderly couple that someone's on their front porch at three am? I thought not. When's the last time I needed a house pet to do any of those things? It's great at airports! But at home?... Your cat would sit and watch while the homicidal sociopath slaughtered your entire family. Then, after the bad guy was gone, he'd eat you. If a homicidal sociopath were to slaughter your entire family, wouldn't he just slaughter the dog, too? I think if you're in that situation, you're f*cked no matter what pet you have (unless its a loaded rifle named Jimson) Edited June 16, 2011 by Tarkus406 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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