Dear Abby...why is my wife

[briremo]

Hey Gals!

 

I'm asking for your help here. My dear wife just has no interest in 'getting together' anymore. Makes me sad. I'm a happy and positive guy, I always tell her she looks great, I kiss her and tell her I love her , I rub her neck or her feet every night, I help around the house and do all the husbandly thing dutifully and (usuually) happily, but no matter what I do, she's too tired, too much on her mind, or just doesn't care about anything romantic.

 

I stay in shape, work out almost daily, so I'm not some disgusting toad. you can click on my profile to see a pic if you like. I try to make things 'fun' in the romance department but it always falls 0n deaf ears or disinterest. What can I do? It's driving me crazy!

 

Whenever I get close and 'snuggly' she goes "Oh ...you want sex", which takes all the fun out of anything. It's like I just asked her to take out the trash or clean the gutters! Then she says "tonight honey", but tonight never comes, or at least fast enough for me.

 

Never cheated on my beautiful bride, and she's too busy to cheat on me so I'm doubly perplexed.

 

Help ladies. What can I do!

 

Signed

Sleepless in Xanadu

Edited October 11, 2010 by briremo

[TheBlonde]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM)

and she's too busy to cheat on me

And there, Sleepless, I think you may have answered your own question. She's mentally & physically exhausted.

 

Do you have children? Does your wife work outside of the home?

 

Does your attempt at rubbing her neck or feet typically result in your hands wandering elsewhere? Or do you give her the massage and then go about your own business?

 

You may shower her with a million compliments each day, but does SHE feel that way about herself?

 

And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is?

 

(There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.)

[Rushchick10]

Hmmm...could be an age thing, assuming she's the same age as you. She could be entering Menopause a little early and that can be a libido killer, from what I understand.

 

Also, as I am sure you are aware, sex is more than just the physical aspect for women. So many things go into wanting to be intimate with your mate that it might be hard to nail down one specific thing that is causing her dis-interest. Does she work outside the home, and if so, does her job involve a lot of stress? Has she gotten "out of shape" physically? Maybe her self esteem is lacking if she has.

 

I have to admit to being dis-interested in being intimate with my husband as of late, but we have had some problems that have put out the fire, so to speak. Also, while I love my husband dearly, physically I am just not attracted to him anymore. He's put on quite a bit of weight since we met 7 years ago (put on about 50 lbs at least...and he was close to 50 lbs overweight when I met him). He's finally starting to make a little effort to loose the weight, but it's pretty half-hearted. As you can see in my profile pic, I am a pretty petite woman and I keep myself in decent shape (I consider myself slightly "out of shape," in that picture with Geddy, as a matter of fact), so it's sometimes very frustrating to look at my husband and see that he has let himself go so badly. There was a time when he even was blaming his weight gain on me, saying that I wasn't making him healthy food to eat, which was B.S...he eats one meal a day at the house, and if I am cooking, it is always healthy. And, I was still in great shape, so...

 

Also, I get very little, or very infrequent, help around the house, and I work longer hours than he does. Causes me to get angry, and I am not the type of person that can have sex with someone with whom I am angry.

 

According to your post, those problems don't seem to be too much of an issue in your relationship. Have you guys had any recent financial problems that would cause you two to fight or be stressed out? How about issues with children? These are all very personal and I wouldn't expect you to speak about them on a public forum, but they are just things to consider.

 

When all else fails, ask! If you guys have been married a while, and have a pretty solid relationship otherwise, you inquiring about her lack of interest in sex shouldn't be something that would cause her to get too angry or defensive. You may find that it is a relief for both of you.

 

Best of luck, and if you ever wanna talk, us gals are pretty good listeners.

[Rushchick10]

QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 03:33 PM)

And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is? (There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.)

I knew I was forgetting to mention something! Leave it to TheBlonde!

 

Yes, that can be a big deal-breaker for a lot of women. You can only go so long faking it. Then, sex becomes more of a chore, and not the enjoyable experience that it should be. I speak from experience.

[briremo]

QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 03:33 PM)

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM) and she's too busy to cheat on me And there, Sleepless, I think you may have answered your own question. She's mentally & physically exhausted.   Do you have children? Does your wife work outside of the home?   Does your attempt at rubbing her neck or feet typically result in your hands wandering elsewhere? Or do you give her the massage and then go about your own business?   You may shower her with a million compliments each day, but does SHE feel that way about herself?   And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is?   (There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.) Yes we have early teen boys but they're good and stress free for the most part.   She does work, as a matter of fact that's her seconday pursuit, kids being 1st. But I work as much, (yes I know, I'm a guy) and find myself "In The Mood" quite bit regardless of how tired I am, or how much stress I'm under. Truthfully I can say she looks for ways to avoid intitmacy through work. her laptop has become her chastity belt   Have we had financial issues, sure, we're both self employed. So we've insanely good years and the economy has pinched, but all the bills are paid...and I'm still honry.   Does she always come away satisfied? . But that's her choice, whenever she does want the experience, we make it happen together. She just has a "I only need it once a month" attitude.   It's almost like the worst thing I can do is take her out for a nice dinner and arrange for the kids to go on sleep overs because then she assumes I want "it" even if I'm happy just to have some snuggle time. So the obligatory-sex ensues. Hey, I'm not gonna pass it up!   But, I feel like I get it so rarely and she feels like I all ever do is talk about sex because once a week i get that look in my eyes, hoping I've waited long enough for her to be OK with it so I'm not pressuring her. Ugh, its so much work just to keep from expressing my desires.   OK, yes, she has gained a little weight she's 5'10" and has gone from 135 to 160, but obviously that has not curtailed by desires. would I like her to lose weight, sure, but I never discuss it. I do think she's unhappy with her body.   You know, it's not so much that we don't have SEX often, it really boils down to the fact that she shuns intimacy so we can never get to the point where it just happens as a natural progression. It has to be an item on her check list.   IDK, here I am 47, married 19 years, I have had other opportunities which I've rejected and I'm starting to think that I need some validation that I'm acceptable to her. It sucks going around feeling like you repulse your spouse when others show interest. I won't stray because I can't betray someone like that (I could never survive it) but I also need her to change...and I hoenstly don't think that's gonna happen.

[briremo]

QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Oct 11 2010, 03:42 PM)

QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 03:33 PM) And when the deed does happen...is she getting "her's"? If your answer is yes, are you sure that she is? (There's no shame in admitting that she may not be...it took my hubby 10 years to find the right buttons to push and he wasn't a virgin when we met.) I knew I was forgetting to mention something! Leave it to TheBlonde!   Yes, that can be a big deal-breaker for a lot of women. You can only go so long faking it. Then, sex becomes more of a chore, and not the enjoyable experience that it should be. I speak from experience. She's NEVER faked it. Never had to. When she wants to, she does. At least we got that goin for us

[TheBlonde]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM)

I stay in shape, work out almost daily, so I'm not some disgusting toad. I try to make things 'fun' in the romance department but it always falls 0n deaf ears or disinterest.

Obviously, I don't know you or your wife. But this first comment made me think of a good friend of mine. Her hubby also works out daily...to the point that it is his priority and he becomes quite an ass if he doesn't get his work out. (OK, he's quite an ass 24/7 but it's even worse if he doesn't get to work out.) Try to take a step outside of yourself and think about how you act regarding your workouts. You should definitely be commended for working out daily, but hopefully you shrug it off if you just can't do it some days.

 

The second comment up there pertains to something RushChick said. Your idea of "fun" may be different than your wife's. Ask her what she'd like, what she'd think is "fun". Of course, many women are too embarrassed to admit to things - so just try to be patient with her answers.

[briremo]

QUOTE (TheBlonde @ Oct 11 2010, 04:07 PM)

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 03:16 PM) I stay in shape, work out almost daily, so I'm not some disgusting toad.  I try to make things 'fun' in the romance department but it always falls 0n deaf ears or disinterest. Obviously, I don't know you or your wife. But this first comment made me think of a good friend of mine. Her hubby also works out daily...to the point that it is his priority and he becomes quite an ass if he doesn't get his work out. (OK, he's quite an ass 24/7 but it's even worse if he doesn't get to work out.) Try to take a step outside of yourself and think about how you act regarding your workouts. You should definitely be commended for working out daily, but hopefully you shrug it off if you just can't do it some days.   The second comment up there pertains to something RushChick said. Your idea of "fun" may be different than your wife's. Ask her what she'd like, what she'd think is "fun". Of course, many women are too embarrassed to admit to things - so just try to be patient with her answers. I'm definatley not a dick about working out because I go through phases myself. I'm about 5"11 and today I'm about 180, two months ago I was 192 and I should be about 172. I'm not a gym rat in the muscle-guy sense, but I just like to stay tight and fit, not ripped. not enough time to spend 3 hours a day in the gym.   When I say "fun" it means I'm pretty much open to do anything for her. I'll wear a Jack Sparrow costume or howl like a werewolf (oh, Jacob!), I'll light candles and throw rose petals on the bed or handcuff her to the bedpost. I'LL DO ANYTHING! and she knows it, but she could care less because "Real Housewives of New Jesey" or "The Apprentice" is on. Like I said, "yawn, sorry honey, not tonight, I want to get these band booster packages together"...that aren't due for two more weeks.   So, one more days go by, I help her with the band booster packages or put listing packets together while I lead a life of quiet desperation

[GeddysMullet]

Have you tried talking to her about this? I'd suggest doing it at a time when it's clear that you're not seeking sex right at that moment. Your goal initially should be dialogue and communication about a problematic issue in your relationship rather than a sexual encounter. You can't expect a quick and easy solution to a problem like this, and the first step on the road to finding any kind of solution at all is communication. This isn't about the lack of sex in and of itself, it's about a problem that has developed in the way that you and she interact as partners.

 

Approach the conversation in terms of how you feel and what your concerns are, and let her know that you want to know how she feels and where she's at on the subject. Try to express your feelings without making it an accusation. Something like "I feel that lately we haven't been as intimate as we used to be, and I miss it" would be a better approach than something like "Why aren't you interested in sex anymore?" Again, what you and she need to do is COMMUNICATE about this issue. It won't be easy or comfortable, but hopefully you will be able to do it and make some progress. Best of luck!

[briremo]

It's not my nature to be confrontational and her demeanor is typically BOW, or Bitch on Wheels. She actually enjoys the name. Or Witch with a 'B' is how she says it.

 

She's not a bitchy person at home, but her job requires a certain 'tenacity'. Sometimes the attitude comes home. So even bringing up the issue results in "We just had sex last Tuesday, it's been 5 days! Is that all you think about?" very confrontational. She can't just quietly discuss it calmly like an adult.

 

I will try again but honestly I'm not hopeful. I think Im venting more than needing advice I guess. I've been to this rodeo many times before.

 

sigh.

[Janie]

How long has this attitude of hers been going on? Is this a new thing or has she always been a little, "not in the mood"? Is she really depressed? On any medication? Would she ever instigate or are you not willing to wait for that?

 

If this is something that has been going on for a long time, I think you may have to take your chances and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Maybe something big is affecting her.

[briremo]

QUOTE (Janie @ Oct 11 2010, 08:11 PM)

How long has this attitude of hers been going on? Is this a new thing or has she always been a little, "not in the mood"? Is she really depressed? On any medication? Would she ever instigate or are you not willing to wait for that? If this is something that has been going on for a long time, I think you may have to take your chances and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Maybe something big is affecting her.

How long, let's see...18.5 years..

 

SHe does ride an emotional roller coaster, but she is not bi-polar. My mother is and I'd know it when I see it.

[Janie]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 06:25 PM)

QUOTE (Janie @ Oct 11 2010, 08:11 PM) How long has this attitude of hers been going on? Is this a new thing or has she always been a little, "not in the mood"? Is she really depressed? On any medication? Would she ever instigate or are you not willing to wait for that?  If this is something that has been going on for a long time, I think you may have to take your chances and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Maybe something big is affecting her. How long, let's see...18.5 years..   SHe does ride an emotional roller coaster, but she is not bi-polar. My mother is and I'd know it when I see it. I still say the best thing to do would have a heart-to-heart talk. Just ask her if anything has been on her mind lately? Maybe suggest taking a vacation together or sending her on a vacation with her girlfriends. And then don't bring up sex at all. Act like it's the last thing you want. I bet she'll want to jump in the sack fast. Try some reverse psychology and see if that works! You never know...

[HowItIs]

First of all, it is incredibly courageous of you to talk about this on a public forum. That says a lot about the depth of your confusion and dismay. And you picked the right place, because the advice I've seen so far is pretty darn good.

 

This situation is so close to my own that I had to look and make sure you're not my Hubby. Close, but there are other things at play with us and I won't go into it right now but... damn.

 

Here's one more thing to consider; it could be medical. I am a tad older than you (and, I assume, your wife) and peri-menopause has done quite a lot to mess up my hormones. This is something every woman goes through and we all deal with it differently. It's also possible that sex has become uncomfortable for her. That's another lovely side-effect. She might not want to see a doctor but it certainly wouldn't hurt. Express your concern that there may be a physical problem and you don't want her to be uncomfortable or, worse, in pain.

 

Consider also that she may be feeling guilty about not having sex as often as you would like. That guilt can be reinforced if she feels pressured about it. Then that feeds into lowered self-esteem and can make her feel as if she doesn't deserve you. So she then pushes you away. And it becomes a cycle that she doesn't know how to stop. You are doing the right thing by trying to "pamper" her, by telling her often that you love her, find her sexy, etc. But damned if we ladies can't listen harder to that inner voice, sometimes.

 

I know that it's difficult to be patient (I often think my guy is a freaking saint). From my experience, I can tell you that sometimes impatience can be tangible - you might not say anything but we ladies can feel it. I know you can't really do anything about that but it's something to be aware of.

 

So, I would advise trying to talk about it with her, as Geddy's Mullet says, at a "neutral" time. Keep in mind that it could be medical, as you do. I'm told that there is now a treatment for low libido in women. Depending upon her reaction to your talk, you might bring that up. Maybe she is the type who would prefer to check into that sort of thing on her own, and may do so if she knows about it.

 

I know how painful this is for you. And I can't recommend the things that have worked for me simply because our situation isn't exactly the same. But I can tell you that I sympathize more than you know. I hope our advice can help you both.

[daveyt]

i have plenty of advice but you have to be willing to sacrifice!

[Rushchick10]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 07:12 PM)

It's not my nature to be confrontational and her demeanor is typically BOW, or Bitch on Wheels. She actually enjoys the name. Or Witch with a 'B' is how she says it. She's not a bitchy person at home, but her job requires a certain 'tenacity'. Sometimes the attitude comes home. So even bringing up the issue results in "We just had sex last Tuesday, it's been 5 days! Is that all you think about?" very confrontational. She can't just quietly discuss it calmly like an adult. I will try again but honestly I'm not hopeful. I think Im venting more than needing advice I guess. I've been to this rodeo many times before. sigh.

Well, being a woman who sometimes requires a bit of "tenacity" or "bitchiness" in her job (umm...I am a police officer, need I say more?) I can honestly say that I don't "bring home" my work. That being said, it does take a certain type of woman to work in a position of authority.

 

I know others have said it...in fact, I said it before as well. Talk to her! If your relationship is good besides that aspect, it shouldn't be a big deal. Just approach it during a time where she won't think that you are "expecting" sex.

 

[TheBlonde]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 11 2010, 08:25 PM)

SHe does ride an emotional roller coaster, but she is not bi-polar. My mother is and I'd know it when I see it.

I'm not bipolar either, but I live on that emotional rollercoaster. I take a mild medication to make those hills not quite so steep and it's actually helped my hubby & I to be intimate more often. Seriously, I could have gone the whole rest of my life without it up until last December when I got my meds.

 

One thing you need to do is to stop saying/thinking "I stress about money as much as she does, but I'm still horny." Men and women traditionally handle stress differently. Men will use sex as a release of stress, but many women cannot even begin to think about sex if they are under any stress. It's a vicious circle, because I know full well that sex is a tremendous stress reliever. But I often find it hard to just let myself relax & enjoy it when I'm thinking "Did I remember to make the car payment? What did Sue at work mean when she said anyone could do my job? Am I going to get that project done on time? Did the kids get their homework done? Was that a noise I just heard outside?" I am in a position of leadership where I work and I often bring mental baggage home with me. I try to leave it out in my truck, but late in the evening after our daughters have gone to bed, it lets itself out of the truck and into the house.

 

As for increasing a woman's libido, there are some not-fully tested meds on the market. But the only thing that has been proven to increase libido is testosterone...which is the whole reason men are typically more horny than women. Now, your wife could go on a testosterone treatment but you both might end up fighting for mirror time to get rid of that 5 o'clock shadow. (My own husband once said "I'll give you a shot of testosterone...just bend over for about 5 minutes." )

 

You say that your kids are teenagers and therefore are stress-free, but that may not be the case for your wife. As for those band booster packages...maybe you can campaign for one of the other boosters to take some of those duties. Your wife might be trying to be all things for everyone, and unfortunately we sometimes lose sight of the one person that sometimes needs us the most.

 

In the end, this is going to have to be a conversation between you and your wife. Choose a time when she's not likely to be as confrontational or thinking that you are talking about it just to get some. And always use "I" statements, not "you" statement.

 

I feel like we have drifted apart and I miss the intimacy that we used to have. And sometimes I feel bad about myself because I feel like you don't want me.

 

You never want to have sex anymore and you make me feel like crap.

[briremo]

QUOTE (HowItIs @ Oct 11 2010, 08:44 PM)

First of all, it is incredibly courageous of you to talk about this on a public forum. That says a lot about the depth of your confusion and dismay. And you picked the right place, because the advice I've seen so far is pretty darn good. This situation is so close to my own that I had to look and make sure you're not my Hubby. Close, but there are other things at play with us and I won't go into it right now but... damn. Here's one more thing to consider; it could be medical. I am a tad older than you (and, I assume, your wife) and peri-menopause has done quite a lot to mess up my hormones. This is something every woman goes through and we all deal with it differently. It's also possible that sex has become uncomfortable for her. That's another lovely side-effect. She might not want to see a doctor but it certainly wouldn't hurt. Express your concern that there may be a physical problem and you don't want her to be uncomfortable or, worse, in pain. Consider also that she may be feeling guilty about not having sex as often as you would like. That guilt can be reinforced if she feels pressured about it. Then that feeds into lowered self-esteem and can make her feel as if she doesn't deserve you. So she then pushes you away. And it becomes a cycle that she doesn't know how to stop. You are doing the right thing by trying to "pamper" her, by telling her often that you love her, find her sexy, etc. But damned if we ladies can't listen harder to that inner voice, sometimes. I know that it's difficult to be patient (I often think my guy is a freaking saint). From my experience, I can tell you that sometimes impatience can be tangible - you might not say anything but we ladies can feel it. I know you can't really do anything about that but it's something to be aware of. So, I would advise trying to talk about it with her, as Geddy's Mullet says, at a "neutral" time. Keep in mind that it could be medical, as you do. I'm told that there is now a treatment for low libido in women. Depending upon her reaction to your talk, you might bring that up. Maybe she is the type who would prefer to check into that sort of thing on her own, and may do so if she knows about it. I know how painful this is for you. And I can't recommend the things that have worked for me simply because our situation isn't exactly the same. But I can tell you that I sympathize more than you know. I hope our advice can help you both.

Great considerations.

 

I think you may be right about the guilt thing or at least the pressure because she's quite irritated when the subject is broached. And this stems from her own frustrations, distractions, pressures IMO

 

There is no physical discomfort. It's more of a matter of her mindset.

 

As a matter of fact, ya'll be happy to know she surprised me last night with a rockin' good time! And this is what's so puzzling to me; when she has a great time like this, why not want to do it more than once a month?

 

As far as going away, I would love to get her away! Our kids are 12 & 14 and she has litterally been away from them three times in that time. Once for a funeral and once for an all girl cruise. We had a two day weekend together and all she could think about was the kids. We have frequent flyer miles, we have the resources for a little get away but she just won't do it. She says we can do that after the kids are gone.

 

And look, I love spending as much time as I can with the boys, they are a blast, but seriously. One weekend in 14 years? We need some time away for the two of us. We always vacation together, beach/ ski, summer road trips but nothing for "us".

 

Also, I do tend to sulk when I ain't gettin' any and you're right, she does know when I'm in my funk. But her response isn't "let's have fun" it's more like "Oh OK, lets go do the deed so you'll get off my back."

 

Anywho, you guys have been awesome! I really appreciate the thoughtful expressions and understanding AND personal insights! It gives me more perspectives that I've condsidered, but honestly my libido is constantly screaming!

[iluvgeddy05]

You need to have a frank conversation with her when this is bothering you. Many times, other things in life carry over into the bedroom whether it's conscious or not.

[-Jane-]

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Oct 12 2010, 08:23 AM)

You need to have a frank conversation with her when this is bothering you. Many times, other things in life carry over into the bedroom whether it's conscious or not.

/agreed

 

When I was married this was the case for me. Once the issue was fixed my libido came back.

[Janie]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 12 2010, 09:07 AM)

QUOTE (HowItIs @ Oct 11 2010, 08:44 PM) First of all, it is incredibly courageous of you to talk about this on a public forum. That says a lot about the depth of your confusion and dismay. And you picked the right place, because the advice I've seen so far is pretty darn good. This situation is so close to my own that I had to look and make sure you're not my Hubby. Close, but there are other things at play with us and I won't go into it right now but... damn. Here's one more thing to consider; it could be medical. I am a tad older than you (and, I assume, your wife) and peri-menopause has done quite a lot to mess up my hormones. This is something every woman goes through and we all deal with it differently. It's also possible that sex has become uncomfortable for her. That's another lovely side-effect. She might not want to see a doctor but it certainly wouldn't hurt. Express your concern that there may be a physical problem and you don't want her to be uncomfortable or, worse, in pain. Consider also that she may be feeling guilty about not having sex as often as you would like. That guilt can be reinforced if she feels pressured about it. Then that feeds into lowered self-esteem and can make her feel as if she doesn't deserve you. So she then pushes you away. And it becomes a cycle that she doesn't know how to stop. You are doing the right thing by trying to "pamper" her, by telling her often that you love her, find her sexy, etc. But damned if we ladies can't listen harder to that inner voice, sometimes. I know that it's difficult to be patient (I often think my guy is a freaking saint). From my experience, I can tell you that sometimes impatience can be tangible - you might not say anything but we ladies can feel it. I know you can't really do anything about that but it's something to be aware of. So, I would advise trying to talk about it with her, as Geddy's Mullet says, at a "neutral" time. Keep in mind that it could be medical, as you do. I'm told that there is now a treatment for low libido in women. Depending upon her reaction to your talk, you might bring that up. Maybe she is the type who would prefer to check into that sort of thing on her own, and may do so if she knows about it. I know how painful this is for you. And I can't recommend the things that have worked for me simply because our situation isn't exactly the same. But I can tell you that I sympathize more than you know. I hope our advice can help you both. Great considerations.   I think you may be right about the guilt thing or at least the pressure because she's quite irritated when the subject is broached. And this stems from her own frustrations, distractions, pressures IMO   There is no physical discomfort. It's more of a matter of her mindset.   As a matter of fact, ya'll be happy to know she surprised me last night with a rockin' good time!         PHEW!   I was started to have a little pent up frustration there.   I'm glad to know all is well.   At least for one more month.

[-D-RocK-]

AshleyMadison.com

 

 

The answers you seek can be found there.

[Ya_Big_Tree]

QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Oct 12 2010, 03:42 PM)

AshleyMadison.com The answers you seek can be found there.

 

Well it looks like he got some.. so he's prolly fine for a while.

[briremo]

QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Oct 12 2010, 04:42 PM)

AshleyMadison.com The answers you seek can be found there.

I'm sad to say I actually went there once but it really doesn't appeal to me. I love my wife and would be shattered and devasted if she did that to me. So I can't see myself going in that direction.

[Ya_Big_Tree]

QUOTE (briremo @ Oct 12 2010, 04:10 PM)

QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Oct 12 2010, 04:42 PM) AshleyMadison.com The answers you seek can be found there. I'm sad to say I actually went there once but it really doesn't appeal to me. I love my wife and would be shattered and devasted if she did that to me. So I can't see myself going in that direction. I went on there once.. met a guy... he wasn't married tho so I ended it. False pretenses, you cant trust that.