barney_rebel Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Q: Why are blondes like tornadoes? A: They both whine and twist when they come, but take your house and car when they leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 #6 is my personal favorite...... enjoy!! http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fsc/rotate2.gif 1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." 3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here." 6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home. That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual." 10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning," "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy. 11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." 13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel. 16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Nice way to start my morning off.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 QUOTE (barney_rebel @ Sep 3 2004, 11:09 AM) Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned. I love that one and laugh every time I read it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 LRF, those are great!!! #6, 13, and 16 are my faves!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 ***************VERY GRAPHIC PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******************** http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/IRS_Enforcement-A.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushRevisited Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Oh my God... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Don't bust your balls over that one.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 QUOTE (barney_rebel @ Sep 3 2004, 07:18 PM) Don't bust your balls over that one.. i was going to say if it was too graphic...it could be removed... uh...yeah.... http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fsc/spying.gif http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fsc/bye%20bye.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 http://www.fenslerfilm.com/?sec=video Any GI JOE fans? "Knowing is half the battle" 07, 10 are the best ones. These crap me up big time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonraker Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madra sneachta Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Sep 3 2004, 12:09 PM) #6 is my personal favorite...... enjoy!! 6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. On a similar note...... Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to santa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Dyslexia RULES, KO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Bad spelink getts da nugh paige Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushRevisited Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 http://img33.exs.cx/img33/4787/Notmyjob_161.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 http://img33.exs.cx/img33/9871/Soccer3.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonraker Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Those last 2 are crazy funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushRevisited Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 QUOTE (Chasartymac @ Sep 3 2004, 09:16 PM) http://img33.exs.cx/img33/4787/Notmyjob_161.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 http://www.ebaumsworld.com/buddiesforever.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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