Dear Blank

[The Lost Xanadu]

Dear Fiance,

 

I really wish that you would just stop mocking my music interests. Just because you can't open your mind and ears to the wonderful stuff that I hear, doesn't mean you have to sit there and put pretty much everyone of my favorite bands down. You KNOW how important music is to me and that its one of the things in life that makes me happy. A little more respect is all I ask...

 

Sincerely,

 

Your Music Loving Fiance.

[CMWriter]

Dear Sophomore-who-sits-next-to-me-in-Art-class,

I like you. For a Sophomore, you're not half-bad. You're friendly, talkative, and (in fact) a very talented artist. One might call us acquaintances. And truly, I try to be nice to you, since you give me compliments on my Rush-inspired pieces (which is basically every project I've done in Art thus far).

However, I must confess this:

You are the most annoying person in class.

Whenever I'm trying to work, diligently scrawling my pencil over the paper, painstakingly rubbing the kneaded eraser just so as to not ruin the drawing, and basically in my "art zone"... Your voice fills my ears. Your somewhat irritatingly high-pitched, obnoxious voice. I try to nod; try to say "mm-hm" in hopes that you'll get the clue that I'M BUSY WORKING. Because honestly, I don't care that you try to include a giraffe in all your pieces. They're very nice giraffes, yes, but it's so difficult to focus on my own work when you're blabbering about your cat or that you think my character should carry around a chainsaw spoon as a weapon or that you want me to read your Harry Potter parody.

I'm sorry, Sophomore, but I just can't take it any more.

I really hope our teacher makes a new seating chart -- and soon.

 

Sincerely (hoping we get new seats soon),

Christine

[nettiesaur]

QUOTE (Babycat @ Nov 19 2010, 02:47 AM)

To all the former teachers in the schools I went to: Where the Hell were you when I got bullied every day & you just did nothing?!

I'm sorry that happened to you. It happened to me too.

[garbo]

Bullying sucks.

 

 

Dear brain,

 

Please work. I swear... ugh.

 

Thanks.

 

me.

[CMWriter]

Dear Bullies of the World,

QUIT PICKING ON THE AWESOME PEOPLE HERE AT TRF.

And quit picking on everyone else in the world, too.

 

And yes, I'm staring at you, the only two people who ever bullied me in my whole life, girl-who-stalked-me-from-Kindergarten-to-4th-grade and boy-who-made-fun-of-my-Marie-Antoinette-costume-in-4th-grade. Just because you're not historically literate doesn't mean you can make fun of my epic Halloween costumes, BLEH. As for you, Mean Girl, what was your problem!? How did you manage to switch THE SAME YEARS to the SAME SCHOOLS as me?! (Fate is stupid.)

 

I'll bet none of you bullies are even Rush fans, or if you are, you need to listen more closely. You could learn a thing or two. D|

 

Hoping we never meet,

Christine

 

P.S. BLARGH!

[nettiesaur]

QUOTE (CMWriter @ Nov 20 2010, 09:52 AM)

Dear Bullies of the World, QUIT PICKING ON THE AWESOME PEOPLE HERE AT TRF. And quit picking on everyone else in the world, too. And yes, I'm staring at you, the only two people who ever bullied me in my whole life, girl-who-stalked-me-from-Kindergarten-to-4th-grade and boy-who-made-fun-of-my-Marie-Antoinette-costume-in-4th-grade. Just because you're not historically literate doesn't mean you can make fun of my epic Halloween costumes, BLEH. As for you, Mean Girl, what was your problem!? How did you manage to switch THE SAME YEARS to the SAME SCHOOLS as me?! (Fate is stupid.) I'll bet none of you bullies are even Rush fans, or if you are, you need to listen more closely. You could learn a thing or two. D| Hoping we never meet, Christine P.S. BLARGH!

I met my bullies later in life. They apologized, but school was traumatic. I've been trying hard to make sure that my students are not bullied or become bullies.

[Boots]

Dear hardcore industrial metal guy:

 

Thanks for always being there for me.

I love your music..your long blond hair...and your body.

I love you even when you're swearing your guts out.

You complete me.

 

XOXOX

 

[garbo]

Dear world,

 

YOU WENT OVER MY HELMET?!

 

That is all.

 

Me.

 

P.S. Maybe I should forego the Dio costume and dress up as Dark Helmet next year for Halloween. Hm. Dilemmas.

[CMWriter]

Dear Lord Vader,

NO!! I DIDN'T GO OVER YOUR HELMET.

I WENT.. MORE OFF TO THE SIDE.

 

Sincerely,

That poor guy who got shot.. well, you know

 

P.S. Garbo, you really should. That would be epic.

Edited November 23, 2010 by CMWriter

[tupelobarchetta]

Dear cute blonde Zumba instructor who attends my church,

 

You tempt me with your sexy smile and firm body, and I like it when you give me a tight, squeezing hug when I serve as a greeter. Everyone else gets only a handshake from me. Also, when you stand in front of me during the service, all my eyes want to do is check out your fine butt.

 

I'm so bad.

 

Sincerely,

Your friendly dirty old man

Edited November 23, 2010 by tupelobarchetta

[Boots]

Dear dumb girl:

 

You're a f***ing idiot.

You would love that a**hole.

Match made in hell.

(No I wasn't talking about Kanye West.)

[nettiesaur]

Dear Pie,

Please make it to our destination in one piece.

You're the only apple pie there, and I have to have apple pie on

Thanksgiving.

Sincerely,

Your creator

[CMWriter]

Dear Mom,

I know all the chores are not done yet. I know the rugs have yet to be vacuumed. I know my room is still a mess. I know you have 28,940,642,089,420 things to do yet, but I really think Thanksgiving will be JUST FINE.

Besides, tomorrow we can sit around and do nothing while everyone else panic over whether they're going to get one of the 25 really cheap Macbooks at Nebraska Furniture Mart.

(Suckers.)

 

Lovingly,

Your daughter (who thinks you're a little bit crazy sometimes)

[Babycat]

Dear brain,

 

Why are you so stupid? Why am I not intelligent?

[The Lost Xanadu]

Dear Corn Bread Muffins,

 

You better taste good to other people because I didn't create you last night for nothing and besides...you taste good to me and my fiance.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your Loving Master and Creator.

 

 

[Boots]

Dear idiot author:

 

Thank you for not caring. I won't buy your sh*t anymore.

Some people are so selfish. I just remembered why I read dead authors.

[CMWriter]

Dear Fingers,

TYPE FASTER. You need to help me get ten thousand more words before the end of the month. If you don't, I will hack you off and put you in jars for bad behaviour. ...Okay, I won't, because I need you for band and the like.. BUT I NEED TO FINISH NaNoWriMo!!!

 

Dear Brain,

Quit getting distracted with TRF.

Turn off the internet.

 

Sincerely,

Your Master

[Boots]

Dear Idiot:

I used to think you were cool. Now I realize you're just a loser.

I don't know why I ever wasted my time on you.

You shouldn't have dropped out of college.

Now you're just a bum with no future.

I don't need people like you in my life.

I'm better off without you. Good riddance.

[Boots]

Dear naive girl:

 

I don't know why you're marrying that a**hole.

He's the nastiest person around here. What do you see in him?

A lot of guys from there will marry anyone just to get citizenship.

You know what they say about boyfriends.

"If he's not nice to the waiter, then he's not a nice guy."

You're not married to him yet.

It's not too late to get out of the arrangement.

But why would I expect you to listen to me?

Love is blind and stupid too.

 

Truly yours,

Your little friend

[metaldad]

Dear Ear Infection Virus

Stay the Fu*k away from my kids, really .

[ridertoo98]

Dear people that drive cars,

The little lights in the dash that light up to warn you of a problem arent there just for show. When one comes on STOP THE CAR!!!!

The oil light you paid no mind too just cost you big $$$$. You car killer.

And no I feel no pitty.

signed the guy who wants to help keep you car on the road.

[nettiesaur]

Dear Drug Companies,

Would it kill you to alert doctors that you are no longer going to manufacture a drug? Then the patients would have time to find something else.

Oh yeah, that's right. You would lose money.

[Janie]

Dear People in the Starbucks Drive-Thru:

 

Are you by yourself? Then park and get your tired, lazy butts into the store and let those of us with little kids who would cry and run all over the place if they were set loose in a cafe, go through the drive-thru.

 

Signed,

Stressed Out, Tired and In Need of Coffee

[CMWriter]

Dear Flu Shot Needles,

I hate you. It's been two days and my right arm still aches.

Not to mention I was practically hyperventilating in the Walgreens waiting room while dreading, dreading the eventual puncture of my skin. The tetanus shot this past summer didn't hurt half as much.

I never get the flu anyways. The least you could do is, oh, I don't know, keep me well from the MILLION OTHER illnesses I get?

 

Sincerely,

Sickly Student who can't Sacrifice School

[sullysue]

Dear Dingbat Co-Worker,

 

I love you dearly. You've been my friend for a long time. But, I'm growing increasingly weary of your helpless attitude in learning your new assignment at work. I know you aren't stupid. But, if you continue ask the same questions over and over again and freak out over the challenges of this new position, I will be forced to smack you upside the head. Having to hold your hand all day has depleted my productivity to the point where I'm having to explain myself. This does not make me happy. Put on your big girl panties and get it together, woman.

 

Sincerely,

Ug.