edhunter Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 (edited) It is complete. Our nerd overlords have at last assumed total control. The Hall of Fame shall henceforth be named The Bill James Hall of Statistical Indisputability. Frauds like Cal Ripken and Nolan Ryan will be cast out and replaced with Scott Hattiesburg and John Olerud. Actual games shall cease to be played from this point forever. Instead, all new prospects worldwide shall be sent to "proving grounds" at schools such as MIT, the Ivy League, Stamford and Vanderbilt. The nerds they once stuffed into lockers will then drill them in a vast array of batting and fielding tests, to establish a statistical database. Once the database is established, the prospects shall be discarded. Money saved from exorbitant salaries shall be redirected to faster computing power, and a pep band. Future baseball games shall now take place in a BattleBots-style arena with Faruq Tauheed introducing teams of nerds who will sit across a table from each other with dueling laptops. Video screens will display animated recreations of each team's move and subsequent response, and the statistics will determine the outcome. A beautiful new day shall dawn. Scott Rolen, Hall of Fame Good. Freaking. Hell. Edited January 28 by edhunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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