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The Assistant Night Manager a.k.a. Bon Jovi: Stop the Excuses


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Oldie but goodie from the Onion after prime career Brady got his ass shipping at the hands of Flacco and the Ravens in 2009.

 

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Following a 33-14 drubbing at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady admitted that his team deserved to be booed, but said that "to suffer jeers from shortsighted brainless front-runners like Patriots fans was both laughable and pathetic." "The Ravens outplayed us here today, but I'm sorry, f**k all of you," Brady said to the Patriots' fan base, noting that the concept of a true Patriots fan was "barely even existent." "There's no doubt we could have executed better, just like there's no doubt those 68,756 slavering fair-weather pieces of shit in the stands have less right than anyone else to point that out. And if they have a problem with that, they should feel absolutely free to go f**k themselves." Brady added that, next to Pats fans, the Boston fans cheering for the Celtics' gang of johnny-come-lately mercenaries were the saddest f***ing thing he'd ever seen.

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