troutman Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutman Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. I wish you were here, I would take you to a few special places that always clear my mind. Places that I love to fish. But some times, I just sit down and have lunch and listen to the water and birds. I hope you can get through it all at some point. We are all diferent in our own way. Be strong young man! :ebert: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. I wish you were here, I would take you to a few special places that always clear my mind. Places that I love to fish. But some times, I just sit down and have lunch and listen to the water and birds. I hope you can get through it all at some point. We are all diferent in our own way. Be strong young man! :ebert: Thank you, very kind words! I find joy in some things, I have aging parents so I try and do things like cook new foods or days out etc. I live in a rural town so I have a lot of beautiful countryside as well, it brings much inner peace. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueschica Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. I wish you were here, I would take you to a few special places that always clear my mind. Places that I love to fish. But some times, I just sit down and have lunch and listen to the water and birds. I hope you can get through it all at some point. We are all diferent in our own way. Be strong young man! :ebert: Thank you, very kind words! I find joy in some things, I have aging parents so I try and do things like cook new foods or days out etc. I live in a rural town so I have a lot of beautiful countryside as well, it brings much inner peace. I'm so glad you have places you can go to, to try and find some calm. Sounds like you know your moods pretty well by now; that's awesome that you have found some ways to deal with the problem ones. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. I wish you were here, I would take you to a few special places that always clear my mind. Places that I love to fish. But some times, I just sit down and have lunch and listen to the water and birds. I hope you can get through it all at some point. We are all diferent in our own way. Be strong young man! :ebert: Thank you, very kind words! I find joy in some things, I have aging parents so I try and do things like cook new foods or days out etc. I live in a rural town so I have a lot of beautiful countryside as well, it brings much inner peace. I'm so glad you have places you can go to, to try and find some calm. Sounds like you know your moods pretty well by now; that's awesome that you have found some ways to deal with the problem ones. I do! But today was a real unexplainable setback 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I bit down so hard on the inside of my lip that I heard a "crunch". Ouch. My teeth are too pointy :( 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I bit down so hard on the inside of my lip that I heard a "crunch". Ouch. My teeth are too pointy :( That is one of the worst feelings you can get, outside of stubbing your toe (or many other worse things, but I'm talking minor bumps and scrapes). You have my sympathy. Aaaarg...I hope it doesn't swell too much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 (edited) How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I do! And amazing friends and family. Problem is, I have such an overbearing happy personality that it is hard for "professionals" to recognise my illness. It's my fault, I learned at a young age how to put a guard up and I am a pro at it. But last year...well I lost sight of that and sadly the doctors just prescribed a high dosage of everything. I will admit, I am learning about how the mind works, where my irrational thoughts first took root, and how to combat them. The meds gave me the clear mind to be able to meditate on these basics, and when I was strong enough, I came off them. Meds aren't the final answer, but they also aren't devoid of merit. I am messed up, but thankfully positive(ish). Depression isn't a badge of honour, it is a millstone around my neck. But I won't sink with it, and even if the methods I take to fight are wrong, I won't stop trying. I wish you were here, I would take you to a few special places that always clear my mind. Places that I love to fish. But some times, I just sit down and have lunch and listen to the water and birds. I hope you can get through it all at some point. We are all diferent in our own way. Be strong young man! :ebert: Thank you, very kind words! I find joy in some things, I have aging parents so I try and do things like cook new foods or days out etc. I live in a rural town so I have a lot of beautiful countryside as well, it brings much inner peace. I'm so glad you have places you can go to, to try and find some calm. Sounds like you know your moods pretty well by now; that's awesome that you have found some ways to deal with the problem ones. I do! But today was a real unexplainable setbackIn a few days or weeks or some time in the future, you may look back and think that it was important for overall growth and experience. Perhaps it feels like a setback today because it's fresh. Time clears up a lot of things....especially when our minds may have been muddled, swirling, or bombarded with the demons on that particular bad day. Edited September 10, 2015 by JohnnyBlaze 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueschica Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Down with a cold. Currently in the "burning throat" phase, which is by far the worst. I can deal with the stuffy nose that follows, and the cough is annoying, but isn't painful. Aack, I hate sore throats. Hope you feel better soon, getting sick early in the semester stinks. Hot drink for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat 3 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I completely agree with Troutman here Segue. I get outside and walk, hike, bike...anything. There is such a healing component to nature for me personally. Even just sitting in our garden with a cup of tea or espresso watching the birds, etc. brings such a sense of calm over me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutman Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Depression. Had a bad panic attack before I had to do some public speaking tonight. (The two weren't connected). Absolutely, 100% wrecked emotionally, but I pulled myself together and was able to convince everyone I was in a splendid mood. Cupcake please.What do you take for anxiety or panic attacks if anything if you don't mind me asking?... At the moment, nothing. I came off them. But I have trigger points to avoid, and somehow I couldn't today. My heart feels like someone punched a hole in my chest and is gripping it firmly. Came home and just crashed in bed, this forum is a sweet escape but in reality I am numb. Good for you, Try and stay off the stuff and see how your body reacts in a natural way. Days like this aside, so far so good! Thanks! Do you have any pets? For me it works wonders! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 How long ago did they put you on drugs? I've had three breakdowns in six years. I have been on and off all that time. Each time the drugs are stronger. Each time I fight that much harder. Everyday I learn more and more how to live, love and think in a way that helps me grow. Even bad days like today, I find away to disbelieve all my irrational thinking, and telling myself I am wrong every single time helps me get past it. It really is like swimming against the current, but never mind. Such is life, and I always remind myself that to be helped, I also need to help. What you just said, And this is JMO. The drugs keep getting stronger. Thats just not normal in my opinion. Where will it stop? Do you have a nice retreat close by? Like a park or river to hang out at? I completely agree with Troutman here Segue. I get outside and walk, hike, bike...anything. There is such a healing component to nature for me personally. Even just sitting in our garden with a cup of tea or espresso watching the birds, etc. brings such a sense of calm over me. 100% agree. Will try harder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Depression. Had a bad panic attack before I had to do some public speaking tonight. (The two weren't connected). Absolutely, 100% wrecked emotionally, but I pulled myself together and was able to convince everyone I was in a splendid mood. Cupcake please.What do you take for anxiety or panic attacks if anything if you don't mind me asking?... At the moment, nothing. I came off them. But I have trigger points to avoid, and somehow I couldn't today. My heart feels like someone punched a hole in my chest and is gripping it firmly. Came home and just crashed in bed, this forum is a sweet escape but in reality I am numb. Good for you, Try and stay off the stuff and see how your body reacts in a natural way. Days like this aside, so far so good! Thanks! Do you have any pets? For me it works wonders! Where I live now isn't suitable for pets. Hit me hard letting my cats go this year because of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutman Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all! Thats cool, At least you can visit them. And they are happy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all!I am so glad you found a friend to take in your kitty cats. Pets are just awesome. I've always had them and always will. I couldn't even imagine not having pets. A house becomes a home only when there's a pet inside. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs.I couldn't imagine it either but at least there was a happy compromise. :) We have two cats. Then had our babies. Baby #1 had a really bad allergy. So sorry for that. I handed him a box of tissue for that runny nose and those watery eyes. Fur babies were going nowhere. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutman Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all!I am so glad you found a friend to take in your kitty cats. Pets are just awesome. I've always had them and always will. I couldn't even imagine not having pets. A house becomes a home only when there's a pet inside. My dog is 13 yrs of age, As much as I love pets. After she is gone I will force myself to take a really long break. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all!I am so glad you found a friend to take in your kitty cats. Pets are just awesome. I've always had them and always will. I couldn't even imagine not having pets. A house becomes a home only when there's a pet inside. My dog is 13 yrs of age, As much as I love pets. After she is gone I will force myself to take a really long break. I tried to take a break after my previous cat died. It lasted almost a year, until two feral kittens showed up in the backyard. I've had them for five years now :D 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I asked my mom to take me grocery shopping with her. I wake up early and shower and everything then i text her and she says she forgot. She always pulls this shit and im so tired of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I could never do that. My commitment to my animals is death until one of us departs. Wasn't something we could avoid. Can't go into it but yeah. Thankfully, very VERY close friends of ours, on a huge property, took them on and they are in cat heaven! So it was a winner for us all!I am so glad you found a friend to take in your kitty cats. Pets are just awesome. I've always had them and always will. I couldn't even imagine not having pets. A house becomes a home only when there's a pet inside. My dog is 13 yrs of age, As much as I love pets. After she is gone I will force myself to take a really long break.Me too. I've been taking care of cats for well over twenty years now. As much as I love them, and as much as they have become such a part of this little family, when they are gone, I am taking a vacation from them. They can be, and too often are, very demanding. It's a real commitment. When it is freezing cold on a stormy winter morning, I can't just roll over and catch a few more moments of sleep. They depend on me for fresh water and food. So, up I get - no matter what. Plus, they are a financial drain as the cost of cat food keeps going up like everything else. And, last but not least, cats get sick too. Vets are expensive. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue J Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I asked my mom to take me grocery shopping with her. I wake up early and shower and everything then i text her and she says she forgot. She always pulls this shit and im so tired of it. Could you get back at her by starting to "forget" certain things, too? I know that's not really the right answer to the problem...but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I asked my mom to take me grocery shopping with her. I wake up early and shower and everything then i text her and she says she forgot. She always pulls this shit and im so tired of it. Could you get back at her by starting to "forget" certain things, too? I know that's not really the right answer to the problem...but still.i might as well lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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