Dear Sir Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 I want to start a thread identifying things not to mock. Here are some starters: Dwight: Small nose Meredith: Sex with terrorist Dear Sir: Met Neil Peart Michael: Fell in koi pond 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dear Sir Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 This was during the Power Windows tour...or maybe Presto...or maybe Counterparts....but definitely somewhere in there... I was pumping gas and she pulled up to the pump next to me on her red BMW motorcycle. I thought it might be her, but I wanted to be careful knowing how she avoids the general public and her psychotic fans. Her riding partner pulled up next to her and starting pumping gas in her motorcycle. When he finished both motorcycles, she told him to go in and get some beef jerky, ding dongs and an orange crush (she pointed out 'this time...glass bottle only you nitwit!' or something to the affect). As her partner went in the store that was my chance to make my awkward introduction. So I approached and said 'so...guess you like orange crush huh? that's my favorite as well'. She starred me down for what seemed like an eternity and then dryly said 'ironic'. She then put her helmet back on and turned her back to me. Feeling the instant chemistry I remarked 'well guess I'll be doing now, have a nice day'. She got on her bike and gave a quick wave with her back to me. My life has never been the same since then. Impossible; she didn't start riding the red BMW until the Test For Echo tour.she might have rented and/or stolen it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dear Sir Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnRogers Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Quiche! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dear Sir Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am.Now, that's classic beauty. Canada goose, by chance? If so, it would have wanted doughnuts, not bread. Understand, I'm not challenging your story, but how did that lighting appear at that time of day? Was it glowing NJ swamp gas? Also, since about 1985, I thought everyone agreed not to mention REO, even if referring to their respectable previous work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 I met Elvis at our local chip shop. Made a right scene about his salt. I was based in Birmingham at the time. I remember it vividly. Flares and glittery sequins. I have witnesses; Jeoff Goldblum, Terry and Hugh Jackman; partial to a battered sausage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Anyway, Elvis left with his sequins between his legs. Turn out that the chip shop owner ( Nice Plaice) was the daughter of Ultimate warrior. Shoulder presses all round. Aghast, faces slightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 (edited) . Edited August 5, 2020 by condemned2bfree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted August 5, 2020 Author Share Posted August 5, 2020 .What are you hiding about Elvis with this post?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 .What are you hiding about Elvis with this post?? 10,000 word count post with only 2% charge left on his phone battery. Better to start such a post tomorrow when the phone is all juiced up to 8% 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tangy Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 I bumped into her when she was shopping and she looked at me like she was freaked out! She ran out of that supermarket like Usain Bolt! I went to her house and kept looking through the window but she kept herself hidden. I camped out behind her house and waited for her next shopping trip but she must have sneaked out and sneaked back in again. What a sneak! what rush song was playing in the store during this most excellent encounter?Stick it Out! Leave That Thing Alone :smoke: :smoke: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HemiBeers Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. REO huh? Probably blasting Ridin the Storm Out? It's only 4:12 so that's usually enough time for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. Too close to home. Did I ever know you????? Thanks for the hearty laugh. Laughter is a very good medicine, and I need it. P.S. I had to look up what the word "tantric" means. Happened upon a website "What is trantric sex, and how do you do it?" I didn't dare click. Also learned another new word today - tergiversation. So, my day wasn't an entire loss. I learned two new words :) (sort of ) and had a hearty laugh. :ebert: :clap: :LOLsign: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. Too close to home. Did I ever know you????? Thanks for the hearty laugh. Laughter is a very good medicine, and I need it. P.S. I had to look up what the word "tantric" means. Happened upon a website "What is trantric sex, and how do you do it?" I didn't dare click. Also learned another new word today - tergiversation. So, my day wasn't an entire loss. I learned two new words :) (sort of ) and had a hearty laugh. :ebert: :clap: :LOLsign:Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I remember reading that Sting and his wife would have tantric sex for 12 hours at a time. So it's as boring as you might imagine it would be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. Too close to home. Did I ever know you????? Thanks for the hearty laugh. Laughter is a very good medicine, and I need it. P.S. I had to look up what the word "tantric" means. Happened upon a website "What is trantric sex, and how do you do it?" I didn't dare click. Also learned another new word today - tergiversation. So, my day wasn't an entire loss. I learned two new words :) (sort of ) and had a hearty laugh. :ebert: :clap: :LOLsign:Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I remember reading that Sting and his wife would have tantric sex for 12 hours at a time. So it's as boring as you might imagine it would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. Too close to home. Did I ever know you????? Thanks for the hearty laugh. Laughter is a very good medicine, and I need it. P.S. I had to look up what the word "tantric" means. Happened upon a website "What is trantric sex, and how do you do it?" I didn't dare click. Also learned another new word today - tergiversation. So, my day wasn't an entire loss. I learned two new words :) (sort of ) and had a hearty laugh. :ebert: :clap: :LOLsign:Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I remember reading that Sting and his wife would have tantric sex for 12 hours at a time. So it's as boring as you might imagine it would be. Also, Lorraine, you have my solemn oath that I will never tergiversate on the question of whether Permanent Waves is a 70s or 80s album. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Alright I'm back. My phone is charged at 33%. As I was saying it was 1974 we caught each others eyes while walking in North Hudson Park otherwise known as El Parque L’Ochenta. We spoke, we laughed, we sat beneath a tree by the lake where we made love until interrupted by a duck wanting some bread. I asked, "will I ever see you again"? She placed her finger to my lips, shhhhh. She said she'd meet me the following Tuesday morning at the Journal Square PATH station for a day in the village. I waited till 2:00pm, she never showed up. Any chance whatsoever it wasn't a duck? The rest is plausible, especially the parts about her essentially telling you to "shut it" and avoiding all futre contact with you. Also, was she much taller than you expected? :)It could have been a goose, 1974 was such a long time ago. Taller than I expected? No, like I said when my phone was at 8% we first met at a bar in Hoboken. That was a couple of days before the park. She took me back to her place after a few Manhattans. She put some REO on the turn-table then we had some tantric sex. I took a picture of her before she tossed me out of her Jersey City apartment at 4:45 am. Too close to home. Did I ever know you????? Thanks for the hearty laugh. Laughter is a very good medicine, and I need it. P.S. I had to look up what the word "tantric" means. Happened upon a website "What is trantric sex, and how do you do it?" I didn't dare click. Also learned another new word today - tergiversation. So, my day wasn't an entire loss. I learned two new words :) (sort of ) and had a hearty laugh. :ebert: :clap: :LOLsign:Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I remember reading that Sting and his wife would have tantric sex for 12 hours at a time. So it's as boring as you might imagine it would be. Also, Lorraine, you have my solemn oath that I will never tergiversate on the question of whether Permanent Waves is a 70s or 80s album. :lol: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 .What are you hiding about Elvis with this post?? Battery on minus 4 % apologies all round. Sure Elvis will be around again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted August 6, 2020 Author Share Posted August 6, 2020 .What are you hiding about Elvis with this post?? Battery on minus 4 % apologies all round. Sure Elvis will be around again.And singing up a storm like a Beirut bomb blast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushFanForever Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 When I hear of and/or read about someone named Lorraine, I have to wonder if they have the personality of Marty McFly's mother in Back To The Future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dear Sir Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) .This post is your best so far. It allows the reader freedom to interpret. To me, the period represents how much can simultaneously happen at one moment. Edited August 6, 2020 by Dear Sir 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 .This post is your best so far. It allows the reader freedom to interpret. To me, the period represents how much can simultaneously happen at one moment. It certainly is. And yet it has more substance and credibility than entries about meeting Neil Peart. :P 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted August 7, 2020 Author Share Posted August 7, 2020 .This post is your best so far. It allows the reader freedom to interpret. To me, the period represents how much can simultaneously happen at one moment. It certainly is. And yet it has more substance and credibility than entries about meeting Neil Peart. :PNow, now ladies! :cheerleader: :hi: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 .This post is your best so far. It allows the reader freedom to interpret. To me, the period represents how much can simultaneously happen at one moment. It certainly is. And yet it has more substance and credibility than entries about meeting Neil Peart. :PNow, now ladies! :cheerleader: :hi: They’ll continue later after they recharge their phones. Both at 1%. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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