Donna Halper: Claims that Neil couldn't speak "are not accurate"

[chemistry1973]

My dad was with my mom at the hospital when she passed. I'd seen her 2 days earlier and she was in and out of coherency. He stopped by, utterly delusional about her condition. At one point, she said "I can't breathe." And then she crashed. She was gone in minutes. Up to that point moment, he was still thinking she'd walk out of there and go on the trip he was planning the next month.

 

Wow. He must have been devastated.

 

Yes and no. Their relationship over the last 10 years had been pretty miserable. They were completely CO dependent on each other but they would not go to counseling or leave. We started making tentative plans from my dad to move to Florida a few months later because he has to be around people. Hes got whatever that extroverted personality trait is where he has to be part of a crowd. He can't be home alone or he'll just drink himself to death. My sister then set him up with a profile on a senior singles dating website, and he started getting attention. Lots of attention. For about 3 months he was f******* everything that moved. Then he switched to a Catholic website and met the woman in Bogota. They were married 11 months after my mom died. She still does not have a Visa so she has yet to come to America and I have not met her.

 

I can imagine being so distraught and devastated that you'd want to just leave your current life and start a brand new one as soon as possible. Sorry for your loss man.

 

I guess. My folks never, ever learned to communicate properly, so fights were just screaming matches. And nothing was ever resolved or forgotten. They'd bring up shit from 30 years ago when they were going at it.

 

It's hard to resolve relationship issues. Fights can cut so f***ing deep, and go so long, you forget what you're actually angry about.

[edhunter]

My dad was with my mom at the hospital when she passed. I'd seen her 2 days earlier and she was in and out of coherency. He stopped by, utterly delusional about her condition. At one point, she said "I can't breathe." And then she crashed. She was gone in minutes. Up to that point moment, he was still thinking she'd walk out of there and go on the trip he was planning the next month.

 

Wow. He must have been devastated.

 

Yes and no. Their relationship over the last 10 years had been pretty miserable. They were completely CO dependent on each other but they would not go to counseling or leave. We started making tentative plans from my dad to move to Florida a few months later because he has to be around people. Hes got whatever that extroverted personality trait is where he has to be part of a crowd. He can't be home alone or he'll just drink himself to death. My sister then set him up with a profile on a senior singles dating website, and he started getting attention. Lots of attention. For about 3 months he was f******* everything that moved. Then he switched to a Catholic website and met the woman in Bogota. They were married 11 months after my mom died. She still does not have a Visa so she has yet to come to America and I have not met her.

 

I can imagine being so distraught and devastated that you'd want to just leave your current life and start a brand new one as soon as possible. Sorry for your loss man.

 

I guess. My folks never, ever learned to communicate properly, so fights were just screaming matches. And nothing was ever resolved or forgotten. They'd bring up shit from 30 years ago when they were going at it.

 

It's hard to resolve relationship issues. Fights can cut so f***ing deep, and go so long, you forget what you're actually angry about.

 

My wife and I saw a counselor early in our marriage for a few years because it was free through the benefits I had at work. She helped us tremendously, and even 10 years later my wife and I still use terms with each other that we learned from her. It is forever a work in progress, but we are light years ahead of where my parents ever were at any point in the 53 years they were married. It helps to eliminate resentment from creeping into the marriage, because issues get dealt with immediately.

[Lorraine]

My dad was with my mom at the hospital when she passed. I'd seen her 2 days earlier and she was in and out of coherency. He stopped by, utterly delusional about her condition. At one point, she said "I can't breathe." And then she crashed. She was gone in minutes. Up to that point moment, he was still thinking she'd walk out of there and go on the trip he was planning the next month.

That's so very sad, I could cry.