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Husband Had Major Stroke


Lorraine
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Hey Lorraine. I know a lot of our thoughts have been elsewhere lately. How is it going with you?

Not so well. Thank you for caring enough to ask. :)

 

We will be moving out of state in less than a month. An opportunity came up around Christmas that was too good to pass and we are finally getting out of this garbage dump and lousy neighborhood. I will be in an area with a network of support and friends which I so very desperately need. I could never go through another round of this, and I suspect that another round will be coming one day. When it does, I want to be ready.

 

My husband has gotten better since he's been home, but he is still difficult to have a discussion with. He can recite the months of the year but not backwards. He really has a very hard time doing common sense or logical things.

 

Here is something he said to me earlier. If you can tell me what he means, I will send you a box of Cracker Jacks: "I haven't had a prayer and it's so hot and desolate but I wonder if it is going to snow again tonight."

 

With all I have going on in my personal life, I simply don't have the luxury of grieving the death of Neil no matter who tragic it is.

 

Sometimes I wonder how much more I can take and, quite frankly, I'm amazed I haven't already blown a fuse.

 

If all this isn't bad enough, my husband has developed a cold on Wednesday and today I awoke with a sore throat, so I am getting it too.

Edited by Lorraine
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Hey Lorraine. I know a lot of our thoughts have been elsewhere lately. How is it going with you?

Not so well. Thank you for caring enough to ask. :)

 

We will be moving out of state in less than a month. An opportunity came up around Christmas that was too good to pass and we are finally getting out of this garbage dump and lousy neighborhood. I will be in an area with a network of support and friends which I so very desperately need. I could never go through another round of this, and I suspect that another round will be coming one day. When it does, I want to be ready.

 

My husband has gotten better since he's been home, but he is still difficult to have a discussion with. He can recite the months of the year but not backwards. He really has a very hard time doing common sense or logical things.

 

Here is something he said to me earlier. If you can tell me what he means, I will send you a box of Cracker Jacks: "I haven't had a prayer and it's so hot and desolate but I wonder if it is going to snow again tonight."

 

With all I have going on in my personal life, I simply don't have the luxury of grieving the death of Neil no matter who tragic it is.

 

Sometimes I wonder how much more I can take and, quite frankly, I'm amazed I haven't already blown a fuse.

 

If all this isn't bad enough, my husband has developed a cold on Wednesday and today I awoke with a sore throat, so I am getting it too.

 

That is a big change but it sounds like for the better- support systems are everything! I'm glad you guys can go to a place where you have them. Hopefully your husband will continue with some healing and you guys will have a good spring in the new place.

 

Keep us posted- it's too bad virtual help with moving doesn't exist- we could all help pack . . . :hug2:

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Hey, Lorraine. Sorry to hear that this happened to your husband. Glad to see he’s recovering. :hug2:

 

Young man, thank you. It is very good to see you back here. When our Mensa member left the forum, the average TRF IQ plummeted. ;)

 

How's your baby brother and step-mother doing?

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I wish you all the best, Lorraine.

I really think this move is going to be just what you need :hug2:

I hope so. If I don't do something soon, I don't know what will happen to me.

 

Thanks, Daylin. :hug2:

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I wish you all the best, Lorraine.

I really think this move is going to be just what you need :hug2:

I hope so. If I don't do something soon, I don't know what will happen to me.

 

Thanks, Daylin. :hug2:

 

You know I totally get what you're saying. It is hard. You have to do what's good for you.

A move is scary in itself, but it sounds like you've wanted to get out of the area and this opportunity that came up is meant to be.

I think that's how things work out...not always, but I've got a feeling this is a very good thing.

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I wish you all the best, Lorraine.

I really think this move is going to be just what you need :hug2:

I hope so. If I don't do something soon, I don't know what will happen to me.

 

Thanks, Daylin. :hug2:

 

You know I totally get what you're saying. It is hard. You have to do what's good for you.

A move is scary in itself, but it sounds like you've wanted to get out of the area and this opportunity that came up is meant to be.

I think that's how things work out...not always, but I've got a feeling this is a very good thing.

Thank you for saying that. Others have said the same. It's a miracle, really - that this all fell into place as it did.

Also, the way I feel about it - completely peaceful - not anxious or fearful at all.

Maybe it will turn out to be one of the few right decisions I've made in my life.

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Hey, Lorraine. Sorry to hear that this happened to your husband. Glad to see he’s recovering. :hug2:

 

Young man, thank you. It is very good to see you back here. When our Mensa member left the forum, the average TRF IQ plummeted. ;)

 

How's your baby brother and step-mother doing?

I think his IQ is higher than mine! As for her, well…we haven’t strangled each other, yet. Anyway, glad to see everyone again! I’ve missed this place, and I guess it took Neil’s unfortunate passing to bring me back to all my Rush friends. But back I am!

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A realtor was over today. The property is going on the market on Friday.

 

Wish us luck.

 

You are moving forward! It must feel good, in a way. Good luck with listing your place!

 

It does feel good.

 

It's a step in the right direction but not a final destination. What is beyond that remains to be seen but I am not worried.

 

The realtor decided to wait until we are moved out before he listed it because he said I don't need the additional stress it will bring. People, for the most part, have lost all consideration for others, he said, and it will be like living in a glass house. They'll drop by whenever they want and feel free to walk around the property at whatever time, even if it is 2 AM

 

I'll post when I'm moving out when I know. It'll be probably within the next two or three weeks. Not sure how long it will be before I'm up and running again on the computer. Comcast doesn't service the area I'm moving into, so I have to find another internet service.

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A realtor was over today. The property is going on the market on Friday.

 

Wish us luck.

 

You are moving forward! It must feel good, in a way. Good luck with listing your place!

 

I echo blueschica's words....keep going lady.

At least this busy, hectic part of moving will keep you occupied in a good way and I think it will lift you/your spirits just knowing you are on your way to something better! :)

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If I don't snap soon, I'm made of sterner stuff than I think.

 

We signed the lease today, and my husband started his nonsense - insisting he can drive. His truck has to be cleaned out so my friend's son can drive it to our new place. You ought to see the inside of the truck. It's beyond description. I've never seen so much junk and garbage in my life. It made me so sick, and he didn't even want to go through it and get rid of anything. I just grabbed garbage bags and started throwing stuff out. Including his toxic cigarettes. My husband has severe problems.

 

You can't even have a rational discussion with him. It took him almost 90 minutes to do a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle this morning - with a lot of help from me.

 

Since November 13th, I think I've cried more than I have in my entire life. I'm afraid for myself too. I'm under a lot of stress.

 

Pray for me please. That all goes smoothly. On top of everything else, I have to go through thirty years of stuff here. If you've never been poor, you don't understand how poor people don't throw things away so readily. For two reasons: can't afford to run out and buy another, and you never know when it will be of use in the future.

 

One day at a time.

One moment at a time.

Don't project.

This too shall pass.

All will be well.

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If I don't snap soon, I'm made of sterner stuff than I think.

 

We signed the lease today, and my husband started his nonsense - insisting he can drive. His truck has to be cleaned out so my friend's son can drive it to our new place. You ought to see the inside of the truck. It's beyond description. I've never seen so much junk and garbage in my life. It made me so sick, and he didn't even want to go through it and get rid of anything. I just grabbed garbage bags and started throwing stuff out. Including his toxic cigarettes. My husband has severe problems.

 

You can't even have a rational discussion with him. It took him almost 90 minutes to do a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle this morning - with a lot of help from me.

 

Since November 13th, I think I've cried more than I have in my entire life. I'm afraid for myself too. I'm under a lot of stress.

 

Pray for me please. That all goes smoothly. On top of everything else, I have to go through thirty years of stuff here. If you've never been poor, you don't understand how poor people don't throw things away so readily. For two reasons: can't afford to run out and buy another, and you never know when it will be of use in the future.

 

One day at a time.

One moment at a time.

Don't project.

This too shall pass.

All will be well.

 

I think one moment at a time is how you will have to take it, but what a lot of stress for you. I truly am sorry I'm not there to help. For different reasons, my husband and I moved ourselves 10 times in the first 12 years of our marriage and it is a skill (worth not much) that I now have. I think family illness and moving are two of the most stressful things a person can deal with and you have both right now. It will be worth it, though, from what you have said. Ditching things in garbage bags sounds like a good strategy, you can get a lot done with them! Hugs to you and your husband. :hug2: :hug2:

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If I don't snap soon, I'm made of sterner stuff than I think...Since November 13th, I think I've cried more than I have in my entire life. I'm afraid for myself too. I'm under a lot of stress.

As you have probably been advised through out this but it is worth repeating. Find moments to take care of yourself, especially mentally for now. Moments to breathe, meditate, pray, whatever works for you. This may sound harsh but you're in charge, you decide if it gets backed or trashed. If you need to take action when he's distracted, sleeping, whatever, you do it. You don't need to argue over stuff. You didn't sign on to be his mother but that is the situation, you're like a parent dealing with a child now.

 

I'll be thinking of you.

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If I don't snap soon, I'm made of sterner stuff than I think...Since November 13th, I think I've cried more than I have in my entire life. I'm afraid for myself too. I'm under a lot of stress.

As you have probably been advised through out this but it is worth repeating. Find moments to take care of yourself, especially mentally for now. Moments to breathe, meditate, pray, whatever works for you. This may sound harsh but you're in charge, you decide if it gets backed or trashed. If you need to take action when he's distracted, sleeping, whatever, you do it. You don't need to argue over stuff. You didn't sign on to be his mother but that is the situation, you're like a parent dealing with a child now.

 

I'll be thinking of you.

That's exactly what it is - I have an adult child instead of a husband.

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Here's the latest.

 

We are moving out next Thursday. I'm trying not to think about anything and just taking it as it comes each day.

 

We won't have internet service at the new address, and I have no idea when we will get it. You'd think I was moving to the North Pole. Post Falls, like most of the Pacific Northwest, is booming, and apparently the area has gotten too big for the internet providers who, so they told me this morning, have run out of bandwidth in the area. I have to wait until someone moves. Lololol!!!!! Can you believe this???? In any event, that means I won't be able to be here for an indefinite period of time.

 

Anyway, i can't even get a landline phone. :laughing guy: Century Link isn't in the area.

 

So I'm being forced to finally get one of those dastardly cell phones. I really have no choice at the moment. But at least with a phone I can come here whenever I am somewhere that has wifi and say "Hiya!" :)

 

I hope Becky doesn't mind, but I'm going to pm her my new address. Feel free to message her for my address and drop me a postcard. :(

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Here's the latest.

 

We are moving out next Thursday. I'm trying not to think about anything and just taking it as it comes each day.

 

We won't have internet service at the new address, and I have no idea when we will get it. You'd think I was moving to the North Pole. Post Falls, like most of the Pacific Northwest, is booming, and apparently the area has gotten too big for the internet providers who, so they told me this morning, have run out of bandwidth in the area. I have to wait until someone moves. Lololol!!!!! Can you believe this???? In any event, that means I won't be able to be here for an indefinite period of time.

 

Anyway, i can't even get a landline phone. :laughing guy: Century Link isn't in the area.

 

So I'm being forced to finally get one of those dastardly cell phones. I really have no choice at the moment. But at least with a phone I can come here whenever I am somewhere that has wifi and say "Hiya!" :)

 

I hope Becky doesn't mind, but I'm going to pm her my new address. Feel free to message her for my address and drop me a postcard. :(

 

If you get a cell phone plan with unlimited data usage, you can come on here whenever you want as long as the phone has a clear signal in the area you're moving to. It seems like that will be the best option for you if no other means of having internet access is available.

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