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Husband Had Major Stroke


Lorraine
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Here's is a sample of what I mean. The following are some things I said to him and his responses. I will put his answers in bold:

 

Who is the president of the USA?

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger :facepalm:

 

Eddie had to move because the man that owned the house he's renting decided to sell.

 

He thinks he is going to be shook up with the oscars. :|

 

I'm going to go now.

 

I'm glad there's going to be a lot of demarcations. :unsure:

 

 

 

What he's experiencing is called "aphasia", and it's common with a left-side stroke. Think of it as the language processing centers of the brain being disrupted, so when a person communicates, nonsense words come out instead of the intended words. It doesn't reflect nonsensical thinking, though, just scrambled speech. It's fascinating from a clinical standpoint.

 

(I spent a lot of time working with stroke victims during my college years. In-home respite care was my summer job.)

 

Strength to you, Lorraine.

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Lorraine, positive thoughts to your husband and you. I can't imagine that this is easy - but stay strong. You guys will get through it.

 

To tell you the truth, I'm scared. :(

It's ok to be scared, goodness knows you have a reason to be. Just take it a day at a time. :hug2:

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Lorraine, you're not alone. Serving as the caretaker of a stroke victim is incredibly difficult, but you will make it. The days ahead are going to be frustrating, but the anger will eventually subside. You will get back to a normal. Aphasia is hard to cope with, and it's going to try your patience as much as it tries your husband's. Certain words, certain ideas will help to anchor you through it. Find the things that do work, and use those as guideposts to help build understanding when the words fail.

 

There's probably going to be a few stages of therapy and rehabilitation ahead. Stick to whatever you can do. Aphasia scrambles a lot of the pathways in the brain, but generally leaves the knowlege and understanding in tact. Your husband is going to have to build new paths between the ideas in his mind. It's like walking across a grassy field. If it's the first time you've walked across it, you won't leave an impression; but after days and weeks and months of following that same course, you will create new paths for his mind to follow. Practice, practice, practice. Flash cards and visual dictionaries can help a lot in working your way through word association practice. But keep the mind working.

 

The coming days are going to be filled with a lot of exhaustion. His brain is going to be stressed, and he will need a ton of sleep. And yours will too. Take care of yourself. Find time for yourself, read a book, listen to music. Do anything- even if for just an hour a day- to disconnect. Do not be ashamed to acknowledge that you are suffering this stroke too, and do not be ashamed to do little things for own wellbeing.

 

There's going to come times of frustration for both you and your husband. You can't be afraid to lead. If your husband is anything like my Dad, he's going to get stubborn and cranky through this process. He's going through hell, but you don't have to put up with everything he may lash out with. Do not be afraid to assert yourself. Do not fall into thinking that pity and sympathy preclude you from standing your ground. Remind him that you're on his side; and that without you, he'd be in much more trouble than he is in. Just please, do not feel guilty about sticking up for yourself when things go sideways. Things sometimes needs to be said, and I know very well how unpleasant it can be.

 

Lorraine, I'm in your corner. We all are. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you're going to own it. You'll find your way through this. If you need anything, we are here for you. Please lean on us. Please take care of yourself. Sending all my love.

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The other thing I forgot is that I mentioned that he smokes and that could be causing a lot of his agitation - wanting a cigarette.

I was told cigarettes are harder to kick than heroin because nicotine is more addictive than heroin.

Someone mentioned that to me when i was trying to quit. Now I heard it from a medical professional too.

 

The doctor may be able to prescribe a nicotine patch. That's what they did for my dad.

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I remember when my grandfather had a stroke, in the late 1980s when I was about 14. He`d been "dead" for about two minutes and was found in the park. He kept talking about Mackenzie King (the Canadian PM from between the wars) when he came to, and told my Mum she looked like the Michelin Man (she`s an 112lb, 5ft tall woman). When he got home a week or two later, that first day he got a ladder out of the shed and was attacking the ceiling with a broom. His brain and speech recovered a lot but he was a lot quirkier from then on - what I now know to be Vascular Dementia. He`d been a lifelong smoker too, for about 75 years. Because he was told not to smoke again - and was told he couldn`t drive anymore - he got pretty angry as he couldn`t escape for a cigarette. I`m sure your husband`s a lot younger than my grandfather was, and his early progress over a matter of a few days does sound really positive and modern treatment is far better. As for getting excited or confident and being cautious about it - that`s a pretty good rule for life!
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Lorraine, you're not alone. Serving as the caretaker of a stroke victim is incredibly difficult, but you will make it. The days ahead are going to be frustrating, but the anger will eventually subside. You will get back to a normal. Aphasia is hard to cope with, and it's going to try your patience as much as it tries your husband's. Certain words, certain ideas will help to anchor you through it. Find the things that do work, and use those as guideposts to help build understanding when the words fail.

 

There's probably going to be a few stages of therapy and rehabilitation ahead. Stick to whatever you can do. Aphasia scrambles a lot of the pathways in the brain, but generally leaves the knowlege and understanding in tact. Your husband is going to have to build new paths between the ideas in his mind. It's like walking across a grassy field. If it's the first time you've walked across it, you won't leave an impression; but after days and weeks and months of following that same course, you will create new paths for his mind to follow. Practice, practice, practice. Flash cards and visual dictionaries can help a lot in working your way through word association practice. But keep the mind working.

 

The coming days are going to be filled with a lot of exhaustion. His brain is going to be stressed, and he will need a ton of sleep. And yours will too. Take care of yourself. Find time for yourself, read a book, listen to music. Do anything- even if for just an hour a day- to disconnect. Do not be ashamed to acknowledge that you are suffering this stroke too, and do not be ashamed to do little things for own wellbeing.

 

There's going to come times of frustration for both you and your husband. You can't be afraid to lead. If your husband is anything like my Dad, he's going to get stubborn and cranky through this process. He's going through hell, but you don't have to put up with everything he may lash out with. Do not be afraid to assert yourself. Do not fall into thinking that pity and sympathy preclude you from standing your ground. Remind him that you're on his side; and that without you, he'd be in much more trouble than he is in. Just please, do not feel guilty about sticking up for yourself when things go sideways. Things sometimes needs to be said, and I know very well how unpleasant it can be.

 

Lorraine, I'm in your corner. We all are. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you're going to own it. You'll find your way through this. If you need anything, we are here for you. Please lean on us. Please take care of yourself. Sending all my love.

 

I cannot thank you enough for what you wrote, but I have to say my interior rock today is crumbling fast.

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Maybe it is the rain, maybe it is the culmination of the past few days, but .....................................

 

Today I just feel tired of being the rock and pillar of strength

 

The road ahead is going to be long. I never fully recovered from the last one, and I'm not prepared for yet another. I don't have it in me this time to fight with my husband when he wants his truck keys. This time, I will give them to him. I use that as an example of how exhausted I am.

 

The therapist told me today to imagine what it would be like for me to be in a foreign country and unable to communicate with anyone. That's what it is like for my husband, he said.

 

The therapist asked him to pick up the fork and spoon and my husband put the coin inside the empty matchbox instead. Sometimes he would do the right thing, but then he would start to mess up. Towards the end, I could tell he was getting tired because he started to become confused.

 

No one has the time for me in the hospital. Whether they are understaffed or pulled in too many directions at the same time, I do not know. Cell phones don't help either. It's hard to have a conversation with someone who is continually interrupted by the beeping of their phone. The left hand does not seem to know what the right hand is doing.

 

Well, one day at a time, I guess. Even one moment at a time. Step by step. Just put one foot in front of the other. But keep going.

 

 

EDIT: I stopped in the grocery store on the way home and that Jefferson Starship song Sara came on. I never even really cared for it, but I started crying in the store. :LOL:

Edited by Lorraine
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He just called and the conversation was pretty much normal. He seems to weave in and out of whatever it is. It particularly interested him when I told him I was making chicken and rice for myself. I told him that the other hospital didn't transfer his gun with him and that they wouldn't give it to me without his permission, and he said not to worry about it and that we didn't need the gun right now.

 

Other times you talk to him, and he responds with the most bizarre thing.

 

I don't understand this at all.

Edited by Lorraine
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He just called and the conversation was pretty much normal. He seems to weave in and out of whatever it is. It particularly interested him when I told him I was making chicken and rice for myself. I told him that the other hospital didn't transfer his gun with him and that they wouldn't give it to me without his permission, and he said not to worry about it and that we didn't need the gun right now.

 

Other times you talk to him, and he responds with the most bizarre thing.

 

I don't understand this at all.

:hug2: I'm sorry I'm not there to send over some casseroles.

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He just called and the conversation was pretty much normal. He seems to weave in and out of whatever it is. It particularly interested him when I told him I was making chicken and rice for myself. I told him that the other hospital didn't transfer his gun with him and that they wouldn't give it to me without his permission, and he said not to worry about it and that we didn't need the gun right now.

 

Other times you talk to him, and he responds with the most bizarre thing.

 

I don't understand this at all.

 

It's not hard to understand honestly. The stroke has affected his brain in some way and that's why these things are happening. Are the doctors not explaining things properly to you? You can look up info on the internet about it. His brain was deprived of proper blood and oxygen when the stroke happened therefore it's not going to function properly in the aftermath.

 

My grandmother passed away as a result of a stroke in 2015. She was 92 and it was so bad that she couldn't talk or communicate in any way for the last month of her life. She was in hospice care for the final month of her life. My brother and I lived upstairs from my grandparents and we were their main caretakers during the final years of their lives. But when my grandmother had the stroke there was nothing either of us could do anymore. She couldn't talk, swallow her food or get up and walk at all. She just had to sit in a hospital bed and wait for the functioning parts of her body to finally give out.

 

I bring this up not to worry you about what could happen but just to let you know that it's a very good thing your husband is aware for the most part of what is going on around him. His words may be a bit scrambled right now but it looks like a proper recovery for him is very likely. You both just have to adjust to some of the long term side effects and everything will be ok.

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Not trying to write a "me too" story. What I'm about to write is to try and help.

 

My wife had an aneurism 3 years ago. Good thing I was home that day. For a while it was touch and go, as she recovered. Peripheral eyesight, her sense of time and space, some language, were affected. Among other things. She has recovered immensely - I play games with her every day to help her get her sense of direction and time back. Like, letting her lead to and from the car/supermarket, or in the stores. Or let her tell me how to drive to a place. Or I'll ask her what time it is, and how much time we have left before an appointment today, or 3 days from now.

 

Recovery from brain injuries is indeed possible - the brain is definitely plastic and new neurons and pathways do grow. 2 years for the most agressive recovery, and then a lifetime of slow and steady. I'm watching it in realtime now. Every day.

 

So Lorraine, this is why I say stay strong. He can't help but function the way you describe - but it will improve. You'll see. Hope this helps.

 

Also, every day I know that our lives have changed. I always worry that the next time she calls me it will be that thing happening again. As unlikely as it is to happen. Damned hard to be strong and not show her how much I worry - Because I don't want to give her the basis to think that what happened is something that's 'her fault'.

Edited by grep
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Not trying to write a "me too" story. What I'm about to write is to try and help.

 

My wife had an aneurism 3 years ago. Good thing I was home that day. For a while it was touch and go, as she recovered. Peripheral eyesight, her sense of time and space, some language, were affected. Among other things. She has recovered immensely - I play games with her every day to help her get her sense of direction and time back. Like, letting her lead to and from the car/supermarket, or in the stores. Or let her tell me how to drive to a place. Or I'll ask her what time it is, and how much time we have left before an appointment today, or 3 days from now.

 

Recovery from brain injuries is indeed possible - the brain is definitely plastic and new neurons and pathways do grow. 2 years for the most agressive recovery, and then a lifetime of slow and steady. I'm watching it in realtime now. Every day.

 

So Lorraine, this is why I say stay strong. He can't help but function the way you describe - but it will improve. You'll see. Hope this helps.

 

Also, every day I know that our lives have changed. I always worry that the next time she calls me it will be that thing happening again. As unlikely as it is to happen. Damned hard to be strong and not show her how much I worry - Because I don't want to give her the basis to think that what happened is something that's 'her fault'.

 

Thank you so much for telling me about your wife. She's fortunate to have you. You must love her very much.

 

I know my husband can't help it; it's sad to watch though. Today the therapist wrote on a piece of paper "Pick up the quarter and put it between the spoon and the keys on the table." He handed the paper to my husband and told him to do what the instructions said. He did everything but. He folded a piece of paper like a napkin and put the fork and spoon on it.

 

It has only been a week ago today that he had the stroke. What has me worried now is that the doctor had him on a blood thinner that they had to take him off of because it was causing pinpoint bleeding in the brain. They are starting him on that blood thinner again this evening. There really aren't many options - either try it again or risk another stroke.

 

This is all out of my hands. I can only do what I can do. What is going to happen is what will happen. That's what I keep telling myself.

 

:cheers:

Edited by Lorraine
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His phone died and needs to be charged. I asked him if he needed anything and from his answer I could tell he was trying to ask me to get a charger for his phone. My next question was "Do you know what they charge for them?" I got answers from him but none that related to the question I had asked. Finally, I had to go out to the nurses' station and show them his phone and ask them what I needed to buy.

 

I talk to him the way I normally would. Tell him the same things - keep him current on news - things like that. How much he actually understands, I do not know. I told him I had to go to the bathroom and walked out of the room. When I got out of the bathroom, the nurse's aid said to me that he was looking all over for me. So I guess he didn't understand what I meant when I told him I had to use the bathroom.

 

His speech therapist tells me that he's confident my husband will be able to regain at least 70%, maybe more, of what he lost.

 

I sure do hope so.

Edited by Lorraine
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His phone died and needs to be charged. I asked him if he needed anything and from his answer I could tell he was trying to ask me to get a charger for his phone. My next question was "Do you know what they charge for them?" I got answers from him but none that related to the question I had asked. Finally, I had to go out to the nurses' station and show them his phone and ask them what I needed to buy.

 

I talk to him the way I normally would. Tell him the same things - keep him current on news - things like that. How much he actually understands, I do not know. I told him I had to go to the bathroom and walked out of the room. When I got out of the bathroom, the nurse's aid said to me that he was looking all over for me. So I guess he didn't understand what I meant when I told him I had to use the bathroom.

 

His speech therapist tells me that he's confident my husband will be able to regain at least 70%, maybe more, of what he lost.

 

I sure do hope so.

 

Why did you need to buy a new phone charger? He didn't have one at home you could have brought in?

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His phone died and needs to be charged. I asked him if he needed anything and from his answer I could tell he was trying to ask me to get a charger for his phone. My next question was "Do you know what they charge for them?" I got answers from him but none that related to the question I had asked. Finally, I had to go out to the nurses' station and show them his phone and ask them what I needed to buy.

 

I talk to him the way I normally would. Tell him the same things - keep him current on news - things like that. How much he actually understands, I do not know. I told him I had to go to the bathroom and walked out of the room. When I got out of the bathroom, the nurse's aid said to me that he was looking all over for me. So I guess he didn't understand what I meant when I told him I had to use the bathroom.

 

His speech therapist tells me that he's confident my husband will be able to regain at least 70%, maybe more, of what he lost.

 

I sure do hope so.

 

Why did you need to buy a new phone charger? He didn't have one at home you could have brought in?

No

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The other thing that has me worried is the blood thinner they put him back on. I understand the reason they put him on it - anticoagulant - but I have also read about people on them who start bleeding on the brain and they can't stop the bleeding.

 

If he doesn't take it, he risks another blood clot going to the brain.

 

If he does take it, he risks bleeding on the brain.

Edited by Lorraine
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The other thing that has me worried is the blood thinner they put him back on. I understand the reason they put him on it - anticoagulant - but I have also read about people on them who start bleeding on the brain and they can't stop the bleeding.

 

If he doesn't take it, he risks another blood clot going to the brain.

 

If he does take it, he risks bleeding on the brain.

 

I feel the same way. My dad had to go on Eliquis after his heart valve replacement. He bruises really easily now and his arms and legs look a fright; but it is important to be on it for some reason. His doctor felt that there was more of a risk of blood clot problems than there was a chance for brain bleeding. Maybe they feel the same way about your husband? Maybe it is important to avoid future strokes? It is frightening, though. I remember when I was younger and thought medicine had all the answers.

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The other thing that has me worried is the blood thinner they put him back on. I understand the reason they put him on it - anticoagulant - but I have also read about people on them who start bleeding on the brain and they can't stop the bleeding.

 

If he doesn't take it, he risks another blood clot going to the brain.

 

If he does take it, he risks bleeding on the brain.

 

I feel the same way. My dad had to go on Eliquis after his heart valve replacement. He bruises really easily now and his arms and legs look a fright; but it is important to be on it for some reason. His doctor felt that there was more of a risk of blood clot problems than there was a chance for brain bleeding. Maybe they feel the same way about your husband? Maybe it is important to avoid future strokes? It is frightening, though. I remember when I was younger and thought medicine had all the answers.

 

You and me both. Now, a lot of what they prescribe, the possible side effects are worse than what the pill is supposed to help.

 

I know they are giving it to him to avoid future strokes, but a CAT scan showed it was causing bleeding on the brain when he was in the hospital. They stopped the pill and put him on aspirin for a week. The doctor said to start the blood thinner again after a week..

Edited by Lorraine
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They want to discharge him on Tuesday. When I said to the doctor, "But I can't even communicate with him!" he looked at me and said, "Unfortunately, the insurance company doesn't care whether you can communicate with him or not. They are only concerned with the physical."
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They want to discharge him on Tuesday. When I said to the doctor, "But I can't even communicate with him!" he looked at me and said, "Unfortunately, the insurance company doesn't care whether you can communicate with him or not. They are only concerned with the physical."

 

Yup. [insurance companies] are just like most eveything these days...no money, no service.What that Dr. said was wrong also. They are only concerned with the MONEY.

GNo5Obt.gif

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They want to discharge him on Tuesday. When I said to the doctor, "But I can't even communicate with him!" he looked at me and said, "Unfortunately, the insurance company doesn't care whether you can communicate with him or not. They are only concerned with the physical."

 

I hope he will be able to go to the rehab place you mentioned. It's scary that they don't consider the communication part along with the physical. :(

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They want to discharge him on Tuesday. When I said to the doctor, "But I can't even communicate with him!" he looked at me and said, "Unfortunately, the insurance company doesn't care whether you can communicate with him or not. They are only concerned with the physical."

 

I hope he will be able to go to the rehab place you mentioned. It's scary that they don't consider the communication part along with the physical. :(

He's been in the rehab since last Monday afternoon.

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