Principled Man Posted February 14, 2023 Author Share Posted February 14, 2023 Why were the parents so happy that their daughter was dating a goalie? He was a real keeper.... .....and he wasn't interested in scoring. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 My grief counselor died this week. He was so good I don't even care. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 My wife complains I don't buy her flowers. I had no idea she sells them! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 21, 2023 Author Share Posted February 21, 2023 (edited) A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What would you like?” The baby seal says, “Anything but a Canadian Club.” Edited February 21, 2023 by Principled Man 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamas Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 I forget to look at this forum, thanks for the giggles everybody! A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They're appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl's Mom says "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy." "Oh, please, Mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 22, 2023 Author Share Posted February 22, 2023 On 2/18/2023 at 7:57 AM, Jack Aubrey said: My grief counselor died this week. He was so good I don't even care. Some punk broke into my house last week and stole my diary. I just found out that he died yesterday. My thoughts are with his family. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fordgalaxy Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 28, 2023 Author Share Posted February 28, 2023 Food doesn’t really go bad. You didn’t eat it fast enough, so other creatures are eating it now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 2, 2023 Author Share Posted March 2, 2023 This Day in History: March 2nd, 1797 – The Bank of England issues the first one-pound and two-pound banknotes. It's no wonder the British always wore suspenders. That's a lot of weight to carry around.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 Prime rib is unlike regular ribs. It's divisible by itself. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 7, 2023 Author Share Posted March 7, 2023 What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 13, 2023 Author Share Posted March 13, 2023 Tom Cruise with his shirt off? L. Ron Hubba Hubba!! — Jimmy Kimmel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted March 22, 2023 Share Posted March 22, 2023 Today is Marcel Marceau's 100th birthday and I've not heard a word about it from anybody 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 My wife says I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what it says in her diary. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 Schroedinger was driving down the highway and was going a little too fast so he gets pulled over. As the officer approaches he asks: "did you know you had a dead cat in your back seat?" Schroedinger says: "I do now". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 28, 2023 Author Share Posted March 28, 2023 I put up an electrified spite fence around my house. My nasty neighbors were dead against it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 I spotted an albino Dalmation today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted April 17, 2023 Share Posted April 17, 2023 Once, I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted April 17, 2023 Share Posted April 17, 2023 What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and one will see you after awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted April 18, 2023 Author Share Posted April 18, 2023 2 hours ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said: Once, I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction. Then I told a physics joke. No one was moved. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted April 18, 2023 Author Share Posted April 18, 2023 19 hours ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said: Once, I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction. 16 hours ago, Principled Man said: Then I told a physics joke. No one was moved. So then I told an entomology joke. [crickets] 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted April 22, 2023 Share Posted April 22, 2023 All of this talk about gender and trans stuff has made me realize that I'm actually pan-sexual. I'll have sex with whoever does the dishes. : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted April 27, 2023 Author Share Posted April 27, 2023 On 4/21/2023 at 11:00 PM, Weakly Criminal said: All of this talk about gender and trans stuff has made me realize that I'm actually pan-sexual. I'll have sex with whoever does the dishes. : ) What is the greatest trans-sport? Professional boxing! Two macho men fight over a belt and a purse. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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