vaportrailer Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Speaking of Canadian jokes...Dumb? Bad? Both? You be the judge. Did you hear about the Inuit peeping tom?Donny Tukaluk. (pronounced "took-a-look" :eyeroll: ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaportrailer Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 What did the zero say to the eight? http://www.itsafriendlyworld.com/images/nicebelt.png 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Eyes Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 How can you get a very large group of Rush fans to exit a building? Play Roll The Bones. In my case it will inspire me to take a piss break. If I timed it right I could empty the bladder, get another beer, and be back in my seat just as the next song started. Rush should have changed the chorus at the shows to "You drank the beer! The time is here! Take a piss." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grep Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 Why is 8 afraid of 7? Because Seven ate Nine. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grep Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 (edited) How can you get a very large group of Rush fans to exit a building? Play Roll The Bones. In my case it will inspire me to take a piss break. If I timed it right I could empty the bladder, get another beer, and be back in my seat just as the next song started. Rush should have changed the chorus at the shows to "You drank the beer! The time is here! Take a piss." I put a pic up on CP after the MSG show in 2015. It was me in the restroom during RTB. To prove the point. ;) Some of you may recall that. Greparoo did not f**k around when it came to RTB. I'd plan my beer and piss runs around where that song was in the setlist over the years. Edited May 18, 2019 by grep 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 18, 2019 Author Share Posted May 18, 2019 A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me .... I’m afraid of widths. — Steven Wright 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 18, 2019 Author Share Posted May 18, 2019 A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldRUSHfan Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 (edited) How can you get a very large group of Rush fans to exit a building? Play Roll The Bones. Not even REMOTELY funny... Edited May 18, 2019 by OldRUSHfan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldRUSHfan Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop. HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Eyes Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 How can you get a very large group of Rush fans to exit a building? Play Roll The Bones. In my case it will inspire me to take a piss break. If I timed it right I could empty the bladder, get another beer, and be back in my seat just as the next song started. Rush should have changed the chorus at the shows to "You drank the beer! The time is here! Take a piss." I put a pic up on CP after the MSG show in 2015. It was me in the restroom during RTB. To prove the point. ;) Some of you may recall that. Greparoo did not f**k around when it came to RTB. I'd plan my beer and piss runs around where that song was in the setlist over the years. It's action, reaction. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 (edited) A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop. Yeah, he then considered going to the party, but then realised he had nobody to go with. Edited May 18, 2019 by condemned2bfree 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 What did the big tomato say to the squashed tomato left behind?"C'mon ketchup" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 On Halloween... Kid: Trick or Treat!Woman: Well, what are you young man?Kid: I'm a pirate!Woman: Well, where are your buccaneers?Kid: Under my buccin' hat. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 I had a job digging tunnels but I quit because it was too boring 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 19, 2019 Author Share Posted May 19, 2019 I refused to believe all the stories about my father stealing from his road construction job. But when I got home, all the signs were there. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 19, 2019 Author Share Posted May 19, 2019 I had a job digging tunnels but I quit because it was too boring I quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to let people speak to me in that tone. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 (edited) A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Wow!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." Edited May 19, 2019 by condemned2bfree 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaportrailer Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! I had a joke about a warship, but it wasn't this good, so frigate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaportrailer Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 I refused to believe all the stories about my father stealing from his road construction job. But when I got home, all the signs were there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 19, 2019 Author Share Posted May 19, 2019 I refused to believe all the stories about my father stealing from his road construction job. But when I got home, all the signs were there. Being a Canadian, you may know Stewart Francis, the Canadian comedian from whom I stole that joke..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaportrailer Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 I refused to believe all the stories about my father stealing from his road construction job. But when I got home, all the signs were there. Being a Canadian, you may know Stewart Francis, the Canadian comedian from whom I stole that joke..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG6qQWV5U1Y Sadly, I'm not current with Canuck comedy, although I try to keep up with the Baroness Von Sketch show.At my age, I prefer going to Tragedy Clubs, with people onstage crying or dying, and hecklers trying to cheer them up. My kinda entertainment! :P I'm trying to think of other Canadian jokes, but can only recall a crude one about Bryan Adams. :( 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbine Freight Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 Stewart Francis is really funny! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 (edited) What kind of bee's give milk ? Boobees ! Edited May 20, 2019 by Chicken hawk 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 19, 2019 Author Share Posted May 19, 2019 Stewart Francis is really funny! And if you want to steal jokes, his are short and easy to remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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