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George: Did you see what just happened? Jerry: Well, that all depends. . . George: Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big salad to Elaine? Jerry: Yeah, so? George: Well, she didn't BUY the big salad. I bought the big salad. Jerry: Is that a fact? George: Yes it is. She just took credit for my salad. That's not right. Jerry: No it isn't. George: I mean I'm the one who bought it. Jerry: Yes you did. George: You think she should have said something? Jerry: She could have. George: Oh, I know. Jerry: Imagine, her taking credit for your big salad. George: You know you buy a big salad for somebody it would be nice if they knew it. Jerry: Obviously.

Well, you're as pretty as any of them, you just need a nose job.

It's gore-tex. You wish you had this coat.

Don't swallow the poison

Half the world learns

has seen all things

If people would only look to the cookie all our problems would be solved.

George: "Hey, is it my imagination, or do really good looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?" Elaine: "We don't walk that fast" George: "No seriously" Elaine: "Seriously, we don't" George: "The better looking they are, the faster they go! I mean, I see them out there on the street, they're zooming around, like a blur. Like they have a motor on their ass."

you make yourself a nervous wreck

Hand over hand is the strength of the common touch

Half the world talks

but we will not count the cost (Can we do this song again since it rules so much )

For fifty bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow

I feel my spirit resist

Sound and fury drowns my heart

but we will not count the cost

You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead, like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you, you're not gonna die again, you're already dead. You can't overdie, you can't overdry.

We have to have sex to save the friendship.

"I thought you said people dress up when they go to the opera" "People do, I don't"

The answer is always "Empire".

You fixed me up with a bald woman.

Spit it out

in some exotic land

Spinning, whirling, still descending

but it's my turn to drive