GeneticBlend

QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Mar 24 2006, 12:34 AM) QUOTE (GeneticBlend @ Mar 24 2006, 12:24 AM) Hard to narrow this down to just 5. Disclaimer: Theses are in no particular order. I'm ashamed to admit I saw these. Cool as Ice (shut up I don't want to hear any crap about that one)

Hard to narrow this down to just 5. Disclaimer: Theses are in no particular order. I'm ashamed to admit I saw these. Untamed Heart (Christian Slater made 2 good movies in his life. This wasn't one of them) 4 Brothers (I don't even know how this movie got made) Be Cool (same damn screenplay as Get Shorty, just rehashed) Cool as Ice (shut up I don't want to hear any crap about that one) Caligula (woops, wrong list)

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Feb 21 2006, 05:11 PM) NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country . . . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives." "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'." I don't get it.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH... I don't want to wait another freakin' week!!!

A rich man and a poor man sat at a bar talking about their wives' birthdays. The poor man asked the rich man," So what did you get your wife for her birthday?" The rich man said, "A Mercedes Benz and a diamond ring." The poor man asked, "Why both?" The rich man said, "So if she doesn't like the ring she can get in her new car and take it back." The rich man asked, "So what did you get your wife?" The poor man replied, "A pair of flip-flops and a dildo." The rich man asked why both, and the poor man replied, "That way if she doesn't like the flip flops she can go f*** herself!"

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asks. The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "I sure do." "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor. "That's real good!" says the redneck. The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house." Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck is obviously catching on. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!" The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend. "Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck. "What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend. "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck. "No," his friend replied. "You's QUEER, ain't ya?"

QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Aug 6 2005, 08:35 PM) The verses of Shania Twain's exclaimation point anthem "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" and Aerosmith's classic "Uncle Salty" are very much alike. Seriously! Yeah, you're all making that "yeah, right" face right now, so I made a little clip of both verses put together. Here's proof that Shania and hubby Mutt Lange are thieves. Uncle Salty-Shania clip You're nuts. Clearly the Shania Twain song is faster.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

It's a trick question.

Crossroads Blew me away when they did this live at Scranton.

Leave That Thing Alone

Dreamline. 6 out of 12 Rush fans can't be wrong.

Superconductor

Mystic Rhythms

Distant Early Warning