IbanezJem

Look out USA, the Saudi`s are after the world`s over 35`s. They mean - well I wouldn`t call it business in the conventional sense, exactly - but they`re certainly taking sports-washing very seriously.

Oh yes, behind the door.

Hardly daring to believe, Robert led his expedition on to the 3.47.

You don`t think Lewy is planning a return to his hometown club for a couple of wind-down seasons?

If their friendly form is any indicator, Bayern don`t really need Harry Kane.

An island inhabited entirely by ex-international interviewers in pursuit of the impossible dream.

I nearly got in at Hendon.

! Lovely !

When the time came for me to give my other arm I... I gave it gladly. I... I sang as they sawed it off.

No, it was just a little joke. Actually, I am the Council Ratcatcher.

Natural Science - Rush Red River Shore, Highlands, Not Dark Yet - Robert Zimmerman Andalusia, Rubina`s Blue Sky Happiness, Circles - Joe Satriani Runnin` Down a Dream - Tom Petty Like An Inca - Neil Young Mean Street - VH

If you`re going to troll him, at least pick "Why Can`t This Be Love".

I forgot Hurt. In my defence, it's 5.19am and I don't feel well.

Even Dylan prefers Jimi`s version of All Along the Watchtower... but I can`t think of anything else. I still think it`s cheating!

Robert, are you a pacifist?

You see we're from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda, and they're all that size there.

Stop it! Stop it! Stop this ... this hideous facade.

I'm afraid that's just one of his stories. You must understand that a blancmange impersonator and cannibal has to use some pretty clever stories to allay suspicion.

Ladies and gentlemen, to read the nominations for the Light Entertainment Award, the remains of the late Sir Alan Waddle.

Ah, well I'm afraid we have to stop the post there, as some of the scenes which followed were of a violent nature which might have proved distressing to some of our viewers.

Yes, Char-admin! Sweeping away the last remnants of posting chauvinism, polishing off all who dare stand in his way, and cleaning up all in the posting game.

Your Majesty 73 is like a stream of bat's piss.

He has been dead for four years, but he has not let that prevent him from coming here this evening.

This theory has become known as the waste of time theory and was abandoned in 1956.

Okay. Uh, legs up! Doctor, come in. Come on in, all of you. That's it. Jolly good.