IbanezJem

Wait a minute - supposing two swallows carried it together?

It's possible, obviously, but I think it's really unlikely. I mean he's hardly likely to move in your circles, sir...

Life can be fine if we both 69.

Well, this is a completely uncharted lake with like hitherto unclassified marine life man, so the whole scene's wide open for a scientific exploration.

I have another theory. My theory number two, which is the second theory that I have.

All right... if you will undertake to disengage your troops in America.

All that'll be left of us will be a map, a compass and a few feet of film, recording our last posts...

Robert, I think, with respect, we ought to return to the subject of your symphony.

What's all this about coming upstairs?

I`m watching Norwich vs Millwall.

No you may not! Get on with it!

Why buy a striker when we have Brazil`s No 9? Oh, wait...

The sight of Voller walking off after getting the red card with large amounts of Dutch phlegm visible on his perm; well, it was not unamusing to an England fan.

I`m liking Spurs XI for the Utd match - just two defenders, Romero and Van de Ven, and a goalkeeper, Bissouma in midfield and the rest are, ostensibly, attackers. Did I say like? I meant to say I`m terrified at just how many times Rashford will be running at goal unchallenged by a simple ball over the top.

Why should Tenzing and Sir Edmond Hillary be number one on top, when you're number one on top?

He's fighting as well as I've ever seen him. Must be losing blood at a rate of a pint a second now.

Oh dear. Nearly forgot the gesture.

Huh! I wouldn't wish it on my son. He's a sensitive boy, already. I'd rather he was a sewage attendant or a ratcatcher.

You waggled your what?

Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, all the way from a mudwrestling tour of the OPEC countries...in the red corner: Colin 'Bomber' Harris!

'FIVE YEARS, TWO MONTHS AND TWENTY-SIX DAYS LATER'.

Well, if you can think of a better solution to the fact Chelsea will buy any midfielder Klopp likes? It seems like there`s some trouble with Sporting Directors at Anfield and that isn`t helping any of these mooted transfers turn into reality.

Watching Wolves outplay the living crap out of Utd and get denied one of the most blatant pens in history is the kind of thing that drives people away...

From my perspective, you`ve nothing to worry about - just play a 5-5 formation, bypassing the midfield area completely.

Brothers! Brothers! We should be struggling together!