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GedsJeans

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Everything posted by GedsJeans

  1. No, I surely don't expect him to photograph himself with the ball or even write me a thank-you note. That would be ludicrous. I've used my savings to buy some of Alex's reprinted paintings from the Kidney Foundation, so that was my way of saying "thank you" to Alex. I've bought Neil's books; that was my "thank you" to him. I've donated the rest to local animal shelters. I want the ball to have found a home with someone who will appreciate it. I don't want it lost to the void in the upcoming days. This will be my "thank you" to Geddy and it will give me some peace. The "thank you"s I may or may not receive in return are not a concern for me. It's not about that. Thank you to everyone for your help, or lack of help. I wish you all happiness and peace in this weary world, GedsJeans over and out.
  2. Thanks everyone (sassy people included). I've had this baseball for many years. It was passed down to me by my great-grandfather and, trust me, I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. It's worth quite a bit of money and my great-grandfather had it mass-signed in person. There are some very old photographs of him shaking the hands of the players who signed it in my oldest family album. It is absolutely a legit ball. Over the years, out of curiosity about its value, I've reached out and contacted various baseball collectors and auctions and I could pay my rent for a good while with what was offered for it. I understand fully that some people will not understand my reasoning, and I figured when I posted this that I'd get flack for it. But my decision is made for my own reasons, which are very personal. Hugs to everyone and long live Rush, GedsJeans
  3. Hi folks, I had no idea where to post this, so I'm sorry in advance if it's in the wrong place and thus irritates somebody. I'm wondering if anyone can tell me the best place to send mail that has the highest probability of reaching Geddy. I know such an address may not exist, but I have a very old, one-of-a-kind baseball that I think he'd love to have for his huge baseball collection. It's the smallest "thank you" I can give him, really, for making music that has been such a long-term, positive presence in my life. If anyone knows a good address to which to send such an item, could you either post here or message me privately? I'd appreciate it! Thanks guys, GedsJeans
  4. I'm alive. It was someone else in the thread who'd written that they were borderline personality. I have PTSD and struggled with depression and cutting. I'm still trundling along, but Rush's retirement hit me really hard. The 3 of them deserve a wonderful, happy, relaxing retirement, though, and I hope they enjoy every moment of it. They are my angels. I'm sorry for not being able to respond to the many messages people sent me over the years. I got overwhelmed with trying to be a supportive friend to dozens of people at the same time who were all sharing their life stories with me. It wasn't that I didn't care; it was that I cared TOO much and felt terrible when I wasn't able to give everyone the attention and responses they deserved... so I sort of disappeared in shame and stopped signing into my account. I saw Rush front-row 3 times before their retirement over the last handful of years. One time I was right in front of Alex's mic and he smiled down at me and made extended eye contact a number of times. To him, I was just another chick in the front row enjoying the music. He had no idea - and will never know - that he is literally the beat of my heart. Rereading this thread this morning made me cry my eyes out. I truly hope you're all well and that your lives are full of love, peace, happiness and, of course, :Neil: :Alex: :geddy: With tons and tons of love, GedsJeans
  5. Hi gang, If any of you out there are still looking for decent seats and use Seatwave.com, here is a discount code for 5% your order of Rush tickets: QTYQKMYJ. :) And no, I'm not a Seatwave partner or anything like that. I've just used them in the past for tickets and they have some pretty decent Rush seats still available right now. I got an email from them last night with a discount code in it and thought I'd share! :ebert: By the way, if anyone is going to be at the Saratoga and Wantagh shows coming up later in June, please message me if you'd like to meet up beforehand and tailgate or chat. I'm kinda shy but am hoping to open up a little and meet more Rush fans and have a really great time. Wendy
  6. You all are amazing. You are incredible, strong, passionate, beautiful people. I've cried so much reading this thread, but I've never felt more grateful that you all reached out to me, reached back to me and shared with me, after I shared with you. I am going to treasure every single sentence written here... every single one of your memories now lives in me, too, and everything you all shared with me gives me strength and comfort, from one broken heart to another. I honestly don't know how to respond to the outpouring I've received both here and in messages. It's overwhelming. It's been awhile since I last posted because I lost my internet access, but I'm going to work my way through all my messages and I hope that we can all be friends for a long time after today! Again, thank you all. Geddy said it himself: this really is the greatest fanbase around the globe. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
  7. You'll be sitting right next to me, then. I bought the other pair of the 4 front row tickets that StubHub had available for a while. :)
  8. Garden Dancer... wow. That was very difficult to read. Not due to any fault on your end (you are a beautiful, powerful writer), but because you suffered so deeply and for so long. My heart hurt so much for you throughout your entire story. Your descriptions of the cutting gave me cold chills and unpleasant deja vu. I've been there, my friend, and believe me... I know. I'm glad that you've found your way out of the darkness. Going back and rereading this thread, there is so much pain lying just beneath the surface of all of us here... but there is even more strength! We are a TOUGH bunch! Rush should be proud of us!!! :) I've never been more honored to find myself amongst such a steadfast and resilient bunch, men and women alike. Lorraine, I'm extremely sorry about your journals. I make a living as a writer and I can't imagine the gut-wrenching pain of losing 15 journals worth of the outpourings from my soul. :( You and I are also part of the "Loser No One Ever Stood Up For" crowd. I used to get pounded on at school, everywhere from the gym locker room to the cafeteria to being jumped on my walk home. I remember one time getting a huge, bloody clump of my hair ripped off my scalp by this ENORMOUS girl named Michelle who wore pink lipstick with black lipliner. No one ever helped me, because I was a "little weirdo". Sometimes even the teachers were slow to intercede. I can't dwell on it too much because it makes my blood boil. The world is a cruel place. I understand, though, and I know your pain. Blue J, I would love to read your project. Maybe you could post it in segments here in the thread, or consecutively in another thread? If that doesn't work, maybe you could upload it somewhere as a Word document and then post the link? Much love to all, GJ
  9. I do understand, Lorraine. And no worries. :) I'm actually pretty sure that, had my past not been what it was, to the extent that it was, I wouldn't be overly concerned with muscians' backstories and behavior. The music IS what is most important. However, I'm still super-grateful that our boys seem like such stand up guys!
  10. Garden Dancer, please share! That's what this thread is here for... to share and bond with other Rush fans and to help us feel like we're not alone in the difficult things we've gone through. I shared my story, rough as it was, and it has actually been very liberating. A couple of the things that I mentioned, I've actually never spoken aloud to anyone before. It does help to get it out. gangsterfurious... I love the butt wiggle. The butt wiggle combined with the hair swing is mesmerizing! :D Lorraine... I'm sorry if my comment made it seem as though I didn't like The Who/Roger Daltry (Quadrophenia is incredible), Led Zep or The Stones. It's more that the rough, brash, often highly-sexual male personas of the lead singers scared me. Geddy's playful sweetness is in such sharp contrast that it makes the aforestated others seem almost ridiculous to me. I don't mean any disrespect to any of them when I say that... just my opinion. In my eyes, Geddy is pure class, a gentleman and seems like someone who has respect for women.
  11. Alex is ready to hug all of your cares away, Liana! http://www.2112.net/powerwindows/coverpics/PRSvictorad.jpg Hope you feel better soon.
  12. Hi peeps. :) Gosh, you all are amazing people. Thank you again for responding so warmly to a post that I was so scared about making! I'm going to try to respond as much as I can and hope I don't miss too much!! I can't get online too often because of my work schedule so it's hard for me to sit down and write lengthy stuff. Mika wondered why so many broken people and misfits are attracted to Rush and that's something I've often thought about, too. For me, the initial attracting factor was the combination of guitar and vocals (although the alarmingly complex, bubbling, underlying rhythms were quick to grab up their own big chunk of the spotlight). Lerxst has a way of speaking directly to broken hearts. I've never encountered another guitarist who could just GRAB me, not by the ears alone but fully by the heart, and make me ache with such candid pain and joy. I love the way he can paint dark and somber atmospheres and then shatter them with light and mirth. His playing is consistently full of hope and celebration. His guitar seems to have moments where it can't help itself but to cry out in ecstasy just from being in his hands. He'll jump up to variegated high notes that gambol and glitter after swimming through murky lower tides and even through any darkness created, you never lose hope. Alex always brings you back to the light. To people like me, who lived a lot of their lives in darkness and despair, that is a VITAL thing. Lorraine said that he seems like a very emotional person and I agree. How could he not be, with the way he plays the guitar? Geddy strikes me as being an extremely emotional man as well, but very reserved about it. Alex, I think, would be more emotionally volatile and prone to outbursts both positive and negative. His style of playing reveals that to me quite plainly and it is the perfect temperament for a guitarist. I think you need that tempestuousness to be able to convey raw and naked, unashamed human emotion through your music. Geddy Lee's voice was the other enormous attracting factor for me (and I'm going to leave out talking about Neil, not because I don't love him and his craft - he is THE BEST -, but because I think he'd hate being scrutinized and gushed over in a post of this nature). I'm not sure how many other men and women will be able to relate to my most prominent reason for falling in love with Geddy's vocals, but it was the ethereal, asexual and unthreatening nature of his voice that appealed to and soothed me right away. And when I say "unthreatening", I don't mean that his range is unintimidating (phsaw!) or that his delivery of emotion is somehow "less than" (phsaw again!)... I mean that he did not have that overt, in-your-face, brute sexuality that frontmen like Robert Plant, Roger Daltry and Mick Jagger had. That frightened me and put me off the music. A LOT. Geddy did not have that dangerous, sex-obsessed persona that made my blood run cold. There is an innocence in his voice and presence that mingles with the coiled-spring-like power and energy. His voice is alarming but charming. It makes me feel safe. There's a sweetness to it, a gentleness mixed with a tiny bit of endearing arrogance, and when he really lets go, he can raise every hair on your body with his emotion. And he's adorable. They all are. They are such sweet-looking, unthreatening people. Alex with his mega-watt smile and Geddy with his head full of bouncy curls, Neil with his cheeky grin. They are normal-looking, adorable men... who are also obvious misfits. That is the biggest part of their charm as people. We KNOW that they are misfits, just like we are. And yet, look how far they've come. Look at these 3 guys who had a really rough time in school and were bullied and had difficult childhoods and never really fit in... and then look at how they've overcome it all. Here they are, living their dreams and making music that seeks out every suffering person who needs it most and envelopes them in hope and joy. We all love Rush for different reasons and all of us have suffered differently in our pasts... but what remains, and what ties us all inextricably together, is the fact that Rush has healed us somehow. I stopped cutting when I discovered Rush. I literally just stopped. There was no rough transitory period. There was no fallback. The desire to hurt myself because I was drowning in bad memories and loneliness and misery was not there anymore. My life was filled with a seemingly-endless supply of beautiful new music ready to be discovered, from a band that had made me feel ALIVE and SANE for the first time in a long, long time. GOD BLESS RUSH!!!!! "Some of my most cherished moments at Rush concerts have been among the crowd when a stranger's eyes randomly meet mine, and without exchanging a word we each recognise something life-affirming and essential that we share." -GeddysMullet I've had that exact experience, too, and you know what? I've never had it at any other concert for any other band. It's a big part of the reason that I believe that many Rush fans are "broken" in a very unique way. :finbar: Gangsterfurious... where to begin? Your story was crushing to read. There was a lot in there that I identify with and a lot that I'm grateful that I haven't had to identify with in my life. You're an incredibly strong woman and I'm glad that you've been able to grow and to find love. Like you, I carry a huge amount of residual shame that will probably haunt me until the day I die. I am not currently able to move on from the abuse in my past enough to ever be in a relationship (and will probably be single until the day I die), but it warms my heart to know that someone who has suffered similarly has gone on to get married and trust again! Congrats on that, and on overcoming everything else you've been through! All that we can really do is to try to appreciate what we have every day: life, love, friends, music, animals. Like you, I feel incredibly blessed to be part of the Rush fanbase where I know there are hundreds of other people like me who know what it's like to be on the outside, hurting, looking in. Liana... I've been there, too, and I'm so sorry. Can you imagine what all of our lives would be like without the saving grace of music in devastating moments like those? I've been alone and crying in my bathroom in the past, too, and it was always music that calmed me down and wrapped my hurting heart in band-aids. Mission (did you know that song is Geddy's favorite to play??) is an incredibly uplifting and inspiring song. I love how it rushes along on an urgent and optimistic current before Alex soars in and really saves the day with that beautiful solo. He is the king of bleeding heart riffs that can literally mend everything that's wrong in your world. The closing of Marathon, Xanadu and the solo in Closer to the Heart are some other "saving grace" moments for me, too. The full list is waaaay too long to name! :) MMCXII... thank you so much for your sweetness and support and, silly as it may sound, thank you for saying that you need me here. Without turning this into a pity party, no one has ever said that they needed me before and it was just... one of the nicest feelings I've ever been given. Thank you. RushFlyer2112... I don't know you, but I do understand your loneliness. I think that we have both found homes here and please know that you can talk to me (and I'm sure, everyone else here!) whenever you want. I am only a message away! JohnnyBlaze, Blue J, Babycat, Garden Dancer, Sheldon Cooper, MMCXII, Lorraine, librarian, Mika, RushFlyer2112, GeddysMullet, EagleMoon, ReGorLaTroy, Amy Farrah Fowler, Mara, CygnusGal, gangsterfurious, Liana, frippy, snowdogged and anyone else I may have missed (sorry!)... you sweet, wonderful, supportive, amazing human beings with very obviously-superior taste in music (LOL)... thank you for making my first foray into message board posting such a heart-warming experience. Thank you for sharing your stories and feelings with me.. I'm welling up again now, so I'm going to go.... but I'm so glad to have met all of you. Stay strong and stay wonderful!!!! And Lorraine, I talked to Manhattan this morning and she says she really misses you, too. Come visit sometime. :D Rush on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited for crummy spelling!
  13. I can't even begin to tell all of you how much your responses to my thread have affected me and how much I've cried reading all of what you've written. THANK YOU, thank you so, so much for accepting and supporting me, and for understanding. I was 100% terrified when I posted my story and had no idea how it would be received. The fact that I wasn't ignored or mocked but completely EMBRACED has shaken me to the core (in the best possible way). I'm much too emotional right now to try to respond coherently to all of the many people I want to speak with, but I will do it over the next few days. Again, thank all of you for welcoming me, for sharing your own stories and for being so openly kind. The love I feel for all of you, and for Rush right now is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I feel somehow like I have really found my "home".
  14. Hi girls. I've never posted on a Rush message board before. I've read them for years (this one much more than the others) but, for whatever reasons, just never decided to get my feet wet. After last night's phenomenal show at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, I decided to change that - even if only for a day. There are some things inside me that need to come out and I felt like this was the only place I could release them. I'm a 31 year-old woman from NYC and a Rush fan since 2003. Last night marked my 14th Rush concert and my VIP package awarded me a great ticket right in front of the very man whose plaintive riffs stole my heart 10 years ago: Alex Lifeson. (I'm pretty small, so he never noticed me standing there gazing up at him with a potent cocktail of loving tears and adoration in my eyes, which was perhaps for the best. It was a very emotional night for me and getting any sort of eye contact from a member of Rush might have legitimately caused a fainting spell!) I think that most Rush fans are, to an extent, somewhat broken and emotionally fragile people. Not ALL of them, obviously, but the more I meet and speak to at shows, and the more eyes I gaze into as I pass them in the hallways of concert venues, the more I believe that the 3 talented misfits who comprise Rush have managed to produce music that reaches into the hearts of every other misfit on the planet and pulls them into that warm and comforting nimbus where they know they will always be safe. And understood. I am one of those broken people. I was an "accidental" child born to a mother who was violent and resentful. I was sexually abused by my father until I was in my teens and never told anyone. I was a compulsive cutter, a complete outcast in school who was abused verbally and physically. I had no social skills, grew up despising all other children and was terrified of men. For the most formative and important years of my life, I was such an introvert that something as simple as going grocery shopping gave me anxiety attacks. I spent the majority of my life feeling like I had no place on this earth. I felt unloved, unlovable, worthless, filthy, confused and full of a sadness so infinite that it sometimes felt like my heart was smothering in my chest. I had no interest in music, in hobbies, in dating. My only true joy was in painting, but because I lived on my own from an early age, I rarely had the money to buy decent art supplies. I was a lost and completely broken human being who was merely existing without living at all. Anyone who tells you that music cannot change your entire life has obviously never been at the very end of their own rope, like I was. I will never, ever forget the first time I heard Rush. Sitting on my bedroom floor in front of my stereo system on an overcast day in October, I stumbled onto Q104.3FM while station surfing. Suddenly, streaming out of my speakers in impossible, shimmering, twisting ecstasy came Alex Lifeson's Limelight solo. It pierced through my heart like an arrow and I remember an awe-struck, prickling sensation spreading fast as wildfire throughout my entire body. His guitar cried out in sorrow and my heart answered immediately in understanding. But then the notes that followed twisted and danced and spiralled off into the most nakedly honest and raw joy I'd ever heard. It felt like, in the space of only 30 seconds or so, he had told my own personal story and created a happy ending for me where there had been none. The euphoria and pure, delicately screaming joy of that final, spiralling note that he rides into oblivion awakened something inside me that I couldn't fully understand but never wanted to let go of. Alex had jump-started a heart that had been dead for nearly 2 decades. I had no idea who he was, I had no idea who the rest of the band was or even the name of the song. I only knew that if I could hear that sound again, that sparkling guitar full of hope and promise, that teeming wall of rapturous sound that wrapped around it, then somehow everything would be okay. That was the beginning of my love affair with Rush. They reached me in the most beautiful and profound way possible, at a time when nothing and no one else could. I have never loved a band so much. I've never felt this way about music before, so consistently and for so long. I've never felt so deeply connected to 3 people I don't even know. I've never felt that I owed SO MUCH to a group of complete strangers. As they played The Garden last night, I reflected on all of this and broke down and cried. Right there in front of me, a mere 15 feet away, were the men who had saved my life and they didn't even know it. They would NEVER know it. I doubt they realize just how much the fruits of their livelihood affect the lives of those who hear it, how significant they are to the lost and hurting who stumble across their music. I'm still a broken person, but Rush was the bandage that helped me begin to heal. They were my rainbow in a life of nothing but clouds. I can only hope to God that they know how special they are. I often wish that I could meet them and just hug them and tell them "thank you", but it would never be enough. For what they have given to me, for what they have given to us all, there is no hug long or tight enough and there can never be enough "thank you"s. As The Garden wound softly to a close last night and the boys retreated for a short break, I thought about the lyrics. "In the fullness of time, a garden to nurture and protect". Whether Rush realizes it or not, we all are their garden to nurture and protect.... and they have done a damn fine job. So to all the other misfits out there... to all of you who, like me, have found solace or love or hope or healing in the music of these 3 wonderful men... my heart is with you, I understand and I raise a glass today to you, to Rush, to new beginnings, to the strength to carry on despite all odds and to the camaraderie that exists within this incredibly unique fanbase. If anyone made it through this entire message, thank you from the bottom of my heart for obliging me. :') And most of all, thank you RUSH!!! <3
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