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And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2


Citizen of the World
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And now, Comrades, the greatest moment of the day, the moment when I ask you to welcome the return of one of Russia's greatest heroes, creator of SOCN, Jarg's greatest friend, Lev Ibanez Trotsky! :syrinx:

No, not that moment. Although that moment is coming, in a moment

Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon as there are any developments. So, we'll be back again in just a few years. :codger:

...and we're just getting an interesting development now, which is that attachments for rotary mowers - that is mowers that have a central circular blade - are relatively inexpensive!

Oh honestly Ibanez, why do we always have to buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one?

They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got eyes like little pigs, just like their mother. She's a disaster ... a really horrible-looking person, she is.

Oh, well, bring them round for tea tomorrow.

It's a standing buffet only.

Mr ibanezJem, will you stand up please

Sadly, I cannot be with TRF tonight, but I have sent my fridge.This is the fridge in which I keep most of my milk, butter and eggs. What a typically selfless gesture, that I should send this fridge, of all of my fridges, to be with TRF tonight.

Er, can you put it in the kitchen? Can you turn it on and connect it up, Citizen? :unsure:

Well, I don't know. What we can do for you is take it back to the depot, get a transfer slip from Crump to Ibanez, and put it on a special delivery.

Typical of Ibanez's hostile opening spell was his dismissal of V.E. Citizen, who offered no resistance to this delivery... :smash:

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leslie Ibanez, the Chairman of the Test Selection Committee, and I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that this thread has been chosen as the venue for the Third Test against the West Indies.

Oh, shut up Ibanez or we'll close the bar. And now 73 is running up to bowl to Citizen, he runs up, he bowls to Citizen... :16ton:

Blackhawkrush KILLED OUTRIGHT, BOWLED ODINGA - 1-0-0-1-0-0-1

C.O.T. World LEGS OFF BEFORE WICKET, BOWLED ODINGA - 2112.

Ah, well I'm afraid we have to stop that post there, as some of the words which followed were of a violent nature which might have proved distressing to some of our users. Though not to me, I can tell you. :drool:

I remember blackhawkrush was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that.

Basically blackhawkrush is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.

He had been running a successful escort agency - high class, no really, high class girls -- we didn't have any of "that" - that was right out.

oh aren't we grand. Harlot's not good enough for us eh? Paramour, concubine, fille de joie. That's what we are not. Well listen to me my fine fellow, you are a bit of tail, that's what you are.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay? Edited by blackhawkrush
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.

I wandered lonely as a crab.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.

Ah, Mr. Citizen. Have you got your unemployment benefit, please? :no: Well, can you write me a cheque then, please?
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.

Ah, Mr. Citizen. Have you got your unemployment benefit, please? :no: Well, can you write me a cheque then, please?

Now look here Mr Citizen. It's perfectly easy for somebody to write on their TRF profile that they have a bit to spare in the botty department, but the point is Mr. Citizen, our members need proof.
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.

Ah, Mr. Citizen. Have you got your unemployment benefit, please? :no: Well, can you write me a cheque then, please?

Now look here Mr Citizen. It's perfectly easy for somebody to write on their TRF profile that they have a bit to spare in the botty department, but the point is Mr. Citizen, our members need proof.

every Thursday night there's a bloody cabaret in the bar featuring a tiny emaciated blackhawkrush with nine-inch hips and big fat bloated Citizen with his hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners
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You spotted that, well done. :goodone: Now then, Citizen. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them.

Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of Terpsichorean muse. :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

That's - that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

:yes: We'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?

I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

Or her. :tsk:

`Ello, Miss?

Hello, I'm your new vicar. :whipgirl: Can I interest you in any encyclopedias?

That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

Now, write it out a hundred times. :bitchslap: If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your ball off.

Before you arrive is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong.

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

Mr Citizen, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.

Ah, Mr. Citizen. Have you got your unemployment benefit, please? :no: Well, can you write me a cheque then, please?

Now look here Mr Citizen. It's perfectly easy for somebody to write on their TRF profile that they have a bit to spare in the botty department, but the point is Mr. Citizen, our members need proof.

every Thursday night there's a bloody cabaret in the bar featuring a tiny emaciated blackhawkrush with nine-inch hips and big fat bloated Citizen with his hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners

I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth, than dare tread on the same stage with him.
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Ibanez, these flowers :rose: :rose: :rose: are from the gentleman Citizen waiting outside.

Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
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Ibanez, these flowers :rose: :rose: :rose: are from the gentleman Citizen waiting outside.

Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.

it does worry some people - I don't know why - but they are a little sensitive so I take the precaution of asking on these occasions. Edited by Citizen of the World
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