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Worst song lyrics of all time, nomination round


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#9? . . . #9? . . . #9? . . . . #9?

 

Maybe that doesn't count as a lyric . . .

 

What was that song with the lines about cake . . . she left my cake out in the rain, don't think that I can make it 'cause I tried so hard to bake it and I'll never find that recipe again

 

Oh, right . . . the Internet. MacArthur Park:

 

Between the parted pages and were pressed

In love's hot, fevered iron

Like a striped pair of pants

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I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

And I'm too sexy for Milan

Too sexy for Milan

New York, and Japan

I'm too sexy for your party

Too sexy for your party

No way I'm disco dancing...

 

and on and on

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I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

And I'm too sexy for Milan

Too sexy for Milan

New York, and Japan

I'm too sexy for your party

Too sexy for your party

No way I'm disco dancing...

 

and on and on

 

That song needs to be the next Rick Roll.

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1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

 

9) Africa - Toto

 

Too numerous to mention.

Wait whaaaaaa??

 

:D

 

Take yer pick!

 

 

I stopped an old man along the way

Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies [it's true - all old men possess forgotten words and ancient melodies]

He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you" [i would love to see this verse acted out]

 

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do [100 men...or more! :LOL: ]

I bless the rains down in Africa [what does this even mean? :eh: ]

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had ["do the things we never had"? A horrible euphemism maybe?]

 

 

The wild dogs cry out in the night

As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company [i dunno about you, but I like my company solitary.]

I know that I must do what's right

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti [whoa Nelly! lotsa syllables! And is that a double-simile in there? :O ]

 

 

 

Thanks man, I f***ing love that song.

 

Sorry, my friend :( - there are WAY worse lyrics out there, I was just venting a tired old spleen on Toto.

I second the "cake out in the rain" lyrics as being close to rock-bottom.

(Rock bottom would probably be "Young Girl" by Gary Puckett - ew ew ew)

 

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#9? . . . #9? . . . #9? . . . . #9?

 

Maybe that doesn't count as a lyric . . .

 

What was that song with the lines about cake . . . she left my cake out in the rain, don't think that I can make it 'cause I tried so hard to bake it and I'll never find that recipe again

 

Oh, right . . . the Internet. MacArthur Park:

 

Between the parted pages and were pressed

In love's hot, fevered iron

Like a striped pair of pants

 

I much prefer Weird Al's version of that song. Which is the case with the majority of his parodies.

 

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Admiral Halsey notified me

He had to have a berth or he couldn't get to sea

I had another look and I had a cup of tea and butter pie

(The butter wouldn't melt so I put it in the pie)

 

:eh: Paul is a treasure trove of nonsensical lyrics set to fantastic music.

Edited by goose
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28) Kiss Me Deadly--Lita Ford

 

Better than I Want Your Sex

 

Gosh she is dreadful

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28) Kiss Me Deadly--Lita Ford

 

Better than I Want Your Sex

 

Gosh she is dreadful

 

Careful! Zumbi sees these posts and he’ll slit you guys’ throats as you slumber!

Maybe Lita sounds better in extreme formats, but in those I've heard, the playing is similar to the writing, which is not a compliment.

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Can I assume that all of Counterparts has been nominated?

Why do you hate Leave That Thing Alone?

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Pretty much any song by Cannibal Corpse belongs on this list, Meat Hook Sodomy topping the list, perhaps... Everybody sing along!

 

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate

Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat

Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed

Gristle, debauchery with dead bodies, turning green

 

:facepalm:

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Pretty much any song by Cannibal Corpse belongs on this list, Meat Hook Sodomy topping the list, perhaps... Everybody sing along!

 

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate

Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat

Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed

Gristle, debauchery with dead bodies, turning green

 

:facepalm:

We'll call that 34.

 

35). White Lion -- When the Children Cry

 

Thanks, fraroc, for reminding me of these guys.

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Pretty much any song by Cannibal Corpse belongs on this list, Meat Hook Sodomy topping the list, perhaps... Everybody sing along!

 

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate

Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat

Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed

Gristle, debauchery with dead bodies, turning green

 

:facepalm:

 

Jeez. I hope they didn’t labor over those words. It just sounds like a 13 year old playing around and being gross with his pals

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Admiral Halsey notified me

He had to have a berth or he couldn't get to sea

I had another look and I had a cup of tea and butter pie

(The butter wouldn't melt so I put it in the pie)

 

:eh: Paul is a treasure trove of nonsensical lyrics set to fantastic music.

 

"Hold me tight, hugga me right!" :D

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Pretty much any song by Cannibal Corpse belongs on this list, Meat Hook Sodomy topping the list, perhaps... Everybody sing along!

 

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate

Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat

Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed

Gristle, debauchery with dead bodies, turning green

 

:facepalm:

 

Hey, Cannibal Corpse is originally from here in Buffalo and i'll be damned if i'm just gonna sit here and let you besmirch the good name of our hometown legends who went on to become the biggest selling death metal band of all time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually, they're complete shit. It was all about shock value with the lyrics and album covers back when those early albums came out. Nothing more. Fun band to see live though but that's because their fans are out of their f***ing minds.

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Pretty much any song by Cannibal Corpse belongs on this list, Meat Hook Sodomy topping the list, perhaps... Everybody sing along!

 

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate

Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat

Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed

Gristle, debauchery with dead bodies, turning green

 

:facepalm:

 

Hey, Cannibal Corpse is originally from here in Buffalo and i'll be damned if i'm just gonna sit here and let you besmirch the good name of our hometown legends who went on to become the biggest selling death metal band of all time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually, they're complete shit. It was all about shock value with the lyrics and album covers back when those early albums came out. Nothing more. Fun band to see live though but that's because their fans are out of their f***ing minds.

They found a niche and exploited it successfully, no doubt about that. I always thought it was weird that their stuff was legal for kids to buy, though. Their lyrics put the worst snuff porn material to shame.
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