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And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2


Citizen of the World
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No problem. Have a drink. :cosmo: Have a drink. Great. Hello. Marvelous. Marvelous. Hello. Hello. Rewrite.

 

Splunge?

And we've just heard that His Majesty 73 has just tuned into this thread and so he is now watching this royal thread in this royal Video Vertigo. The poster on the left is wearing the great grey suit of RUSH wardrobe department and the other poster is about to deliver the first great answer here this royal evening...Oh, we've just heard he's switched over. He's watching SOCN. :(

Oh, most magnificent and merciful administrator, master of the universe, protector of the meek, whose nose we are not worthy to pick and whose very feces are an untrammelled delight

 

It's only a model.

Or perhaps you prefer this :whipgirl: latest model.

'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'. Or 'Naughty Nora'... or there's this one: 'Doug, Bob and Gordon Visit the Ark Royal'. Or there's 'Sister Teresa - The Spanking Nun'.

You're in security, aren't you? Well, you're not allowed to suggest programme titles! :bitchslap:

I'd like to be in Programming Planning actually, but unfortunately I've got a degree. :(

Right, well, I'll give you the job, and the chair, and an all-wool ex-army sleeping bag for the briefcase, the umbrella, the pens in your breast :blush: pocket and your string vest.

Are you trying to insult me?! Me, with a poor dying grandmother?!

Well, she's got to come to terms with these things. :rose: Seemly. Prodding. Vac-u-um. Leap.

Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I didn't really like her that much. :huh:

And her youngest, :geddy: her youngest as thin as a filing cabinet.

 

And then there's Gilberto's war wound. But they're good people, and they're kind people!

there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.

I couldn't afford a whole new brain. How much are they? That one looks nice. :yay: It's only eight bob.
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.

I couldn't afford a whole new brain. How much are they? That one looks nice. :yay: It's only eight bob.

How about this piston engine? It's a bargain!

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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.

I couldn't afford a whole new brain. How much are they? That one looks nice. :yay: It's only eight bob.

How about this piston engine? It's a bargain!

it's more your, er, Triumph Herald engine with wings.
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.

I couldn't afford a whole new brain. How much are they? That one looks nice. :yay: It's only eight bob.

How about this piston engine? It's a bargain!

it's more your, er, Triumph Herald engine with wings.

You'll have had your tea. Our destination is Glasgow. There is no need to panic. :atickhum:
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there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you meet people.

Citizen! Allow me to introduce our next door neighbor. Citizen, this is Mr Watson. :tongue:

:hi: I had to bring the goat, he's not well. I only hope he don't go on the carpet. :gumby:

I'd like to ask one or two of you at the back not to soil the carpet, there is a restroom upstairs if you find the poems too exciting

Ah yes, did you bring the umm...the specimen of your, umm ..and so on and so on?

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this thread has already taken.

Well, it'll all fit in here. It's top-class excrement!

We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it. :eyeroll:

You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club. With every third book you get dung.

I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles"...volume 8?

:no: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

BEANS!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm afraid you lose both the three piece suite, and your youngest daughter. :16ton:

No! I'll take the blow on the head.

I used to wake blackhawkrush up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore.

I couldn't afford a whole new brain. How much are they? That one looks nice. :yay: It's only eight bob.

How about this piston engine? It's a bargain!

it's more your, er, Triumph Herald engine with wings.

You'll have had your tea. Our destination is Glasgow. There is no need to panic. :atickhum:

He's probably pining for the fjords.

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...and girls with massive knockers. Honestly, they'll do anything for you. They'll go through the card. :pokercards:

That's right. Just for the hour. Only I aint gonna pay more'n a fiver cos it aint worth it.
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...and girls with massive knockers. Honestly, they'll do anything for you. They'll go through the card. :pokercards:

That's right. Just for the hour. Only I aint gonna pay more'n a fiver cos it aint worth it.

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me. :codger: I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.
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...and girls with massive knockers. Honestly, they'll do anything for you. They'll go through the card. :pokercards:

That's right. Just for the hour. Only I aint gonna pay more'n a fiver cos it aint worth it.

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me. :codger: I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

at the office where I work I can be sitting at my desk all day and the others totally ignore me. At home, even though we are in the same room, my wife does not speak to me for hours, people pass me by in the street without a glance in my direction
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Hm. Could be bad breath, Bob. :outtahere:

Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose Crelm toothpaste.

Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake.
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Hm. Could be bad breath, Bob. :outtahere:

Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose Crelm toothpaste.

Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake.

You mean :gumby: zis isn't ze lady?
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Hm. Could be bad breath, Bob. :outtahere:

Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose Crelm toothpaste.

Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake.

You mean :gumby: zis isn't ze lady?

Er, well, the other one wasn't any good, so I'd like to swap it for this one, please.

She's been going very well in training, and at Doncaster last week, and I fancy her very strongly for the Cheltenham weekend. :blush:
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