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Stupid Star Wars Crap We Never Want to See Again


toymaker
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outrageously obvious cultural stereotypes. I'll never understand how any of that crap got past anyone.

 

I have a vague recollection that one of Lucas's response to the charge of racist stereotypes was that "it takes place in a galaxy far, far away . . . how can they be racist stereotypes?"

 

f**k him and all three sets of his double chin. ;)

 

I remember some Lucas rubbish very similar to what you’re remembering.

 

It's not a double chin, it's a failsauce reservoir.

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Further expansion of the power to use the Force. Enough already.

 

I find your lack of faith disturbing..... ;)

 

But seriously, isn't that what many of us wanted to see in the new Trilogy? Luke Skywalker becoming a super-great Jedi Master, who would blow us away with near god-like powers? To be honest, he did become like that, but not in the way that we expected.

I didn't want that at all. For me there's a fine line between fantasy and just plain stupid. With Tolkein, for example, the repeated rescue by eagle thing is just dumb. With Star Wars, it seems the Force is used the same way to get the writers out of a jam. Once it's introduced, a jedi's limitless Force power begs all kinds of questions around its selective use and curious absence in certain situations.

Which is also the problem with a lot of superhero stories. All superpowers need to be limited, otherwise, there is no conflict and no great story. Superman needs to have kryptonite. I think the main antagonist of the force is doubt. Luke has plenty of doubt in The Last Jedi which is what makes that part of the story interesting.

 

Good point. Luke was full of doubt when first met Yoda, and he was again full of doubt in their last meeting.

 

It’s similar to the Green Lanterns. Their rings are only as powerful as the minds that control them.

 

My problem with Superman 1 & 2 is that they were pulling powers out of their ass that never existed (spinning around earth to move back time, magic kiss to erase memory, etc.). To me, the Leia Poppins scene is similar.

 

 

Mind trick, moving objects, talking to the dead, talking to the living telepathically, force lightning...all introduced in a similar way as Leia Poppins and hologram Luke.

 

Leia's I don't like because, to me, it makes her OP and it was a completely wasted opportunity. I wonder if they had planned on her being more of a force user in the 9th.

 

Ooh, good question! That would've been awesome! It would have been cool to see a bad guy corner her only to have her force-push him into next week! :D

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Further expansion of the power to use the Force. Enough already.

 

I find your lack of faith disturbing..... ;)

 

But seriously, isn't that what many of us wanted to see in the new Trilogy? Luke Skywalker becoming a super-great Jedi Master, who would blow us away with near god-like powers? To be honest, he did become like that, but not in the way that we expected.

I didn't want that at all. For me there's a fine line between fantasy and just plain stupid. With Tolkein, for example, the repeated rescue by eagle thing is just dumb. With Star Wars, it seems the Force is used the same way to get the writers out of a jam. Once it's introduced, a jedi's limitless Force power begs all kinds of questions around its selective use and curious absence in certain situations.

Which is also the problem with a lot of superhero stories. All superpowers need to be limited, otherwise, there is no conflict and no great story. Superman needs to have kryptonite. I think the main antagonist of the force is doubt. Luke has plenty of doubt in The Last Jedi which is what makes that part of the story interesting.

 

Good point. Luke was full of doubt when first met Yoda, and he was again full of doubt in their last meeting.

 

It’s similar to the Green Lanterns. Their rings are only as powerful as the minds that control them.

 

My problem with Superman 1 & 2 is that they were pulling powers out of their ass that never existed (spinning around earth to move back time, magic kiss to erase memory, etc.). To me, the Leia Poppins scene is similar.

 

 

Mind trick, moving objects, talking to the dead, talking to the living telepathically, force lightning...all introduced in a similar way as Leia Poppins and hologram Luke.

 

Leia's I don't like because, to me, it makes her OP and it was a completely wasted opportunity. I wonder if they had planned on her being more of a force user in the 9th.

 

Ooh, good question! That would've been awesome! It would have been cool to see a bad guy corner her only to have her force-push him into next week! :D

 

I think that would have been far better received than Leia Poppins. Shit, I just cheered in my mind about the scene I just made up in which it happened!

Edited by LedRush
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My list, for starters:

 

Pit droids

Belching CGI frogs

Gungans or any "whimsical" characters

Things that look like dinosaurs

"Diners" with roller-skating waitresses

R2 units with jet packs

Pod races

Picnics in meadows surrounded by alien hippopotomi

Darth Vader before he became Darth Vader

Yoda with a lightsabre

 

PORGS!!!! FUKK!

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The whole franchise? :huh:

 

keep shruggin' them little shoulders and looking perplexed, little emoti-man. Star Wars is here to stay. f***in' spaceships. f***in' laserbeams. f***in' lightsabres. Love it all . . . except the stupid crap.

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My list, for starters:

 

Pit droids

Belching CGI frogs

Gungans or any "whimsical" characters

Things that look like dinosaurs

"Diners" with roller-skating waitresses

R2 units with jet packs

Pod races

Picnics in meadows surrounded by alien hippopotomi

Darth Vader before he became Darth Vader

Yoda with a lightsabre

 

PORGS!!!! FUKK!

 

They’re barely in there you crazy bastard.

 

It’s not like they were used as much as the Ewoks were.

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The whole franchise? :huh:

 

keep shruggin' them little shoulders and looking perplexed, little emoti-man. Star Wars is here to stay. f***in' spaceships. f***in' laserbeams. f***in' lightsabres. Love it all . . . except the stupid crap.

:nya nya:

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My list, for starters:

 

Pit droids

Belching CGI frogs

Gungans or any "whimsical" characters

Things that look like dinosaurs

"Diners" with roller-skating waitresses

R2 units with jet packs

Pod races

Picnics in meadows surrounded by alien hippopotomi

Darth Vader before he became Darth Vader

Yoda with a lightsabre

 

PORGS!!!! FUKK!

 

They’re barely in there you crazy bastard.

 

It’s not like they were used as much as the Ewoks were.

 

HAHAHA!!!

 

I hate the PORGS! Such shit! When they filmed on that island in Ireland they had to digitally remove all of the Puffins! So they contacted Jim Henson's Muppet Shop and made that shit creature.

 

I'm sure you loved watching Luke drain that green milk from the utter or nut sack from one of those sea walruses with missing tusks. WTF? Sounded more like an orgasm with each squirt into Luke's baby bottle.

 

DUMB!

 

That stupid plastic fish he caught and put on his back! GEZZUS!

 

And I'm crazy?

 

I didn't make this shit up and sell it to Disney!!

 

At least Wicket didn't show off his bald testicles and erect spicket!!!

 

"spicket" is a word that means "faucet."

 

Get it?

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My list, for starters:

 

Pit droids

Belching CGI frogs

Gungans or any "whimsical" characters

Things that look like dinosaurs

"Diners" with roller-skating waitresses

R2 units with jet packs

Pod races

Picnics in meadows surrounded by alien hippopotomi

Darth Vader before he became Darth Vader

Yoda with a lightsabre

 

PORGS!!!! FUKK!

 

They’re barely in there you crazy bastard.

 

It’s not like they were used as much as the Ewoks were.

 

HAHAHA!!!

 

I hate the PORGS! Such shit! When they filmed on that island in Ireland they had to digitally remove all of the Puffins! So they contacted Jim Henson's Muppet Shop and made that shit creature.

 

I'm sure you loved watching Luke drain that green milk from the utter or nut sack from one of those sea walruses with missing tusks. WTF? Sounded more like an orgasm with each squirt into Luke's baby bottle.

 

DUMB!

 

That stupid plastic fish he caught and put on his back! GEZZUS!

 

And I'm crazy?

 

I didn't make this shit up and sell it to Disney!!

 

At least Wicket didn't show off his bald testicles and erect spicket!!!

 

"spicket" is a word that means "faucet."

 

Get it?

 

:LOL:

 

I’m sucking down some green milk from that alien walrus udder now as I type!

 

Afterwards I’m going to eat some Porg and Ewok for supp.

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

 

The bait was a raw carcass. Maybe the Porgs had warning labels on them, advising that they be fully cooked before eating. :P

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

 

The bait was a raw carcass. Maybe the Porgs had warning labels on them, advising that they be fully cooked before eating. :P

 

sad-porg-700x300.jpg

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

 

It’s just another thing that Last Jedi messed up. :P

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

 

The bait was a raw carcass. Maybe the Porgs had warning labels on them, advising that they be fully cooked before eating. :P

 

sad-porg-700x300.jpg

 

RoastChicken-1.jpg

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That roasted porg looked amazing. It made me want to go out and eat an entire roast chicken.

 

I bought a couple of cornish hens to roast. That's the closest I'm gonna get to it...

 

I was under the impression that Chewbacca ate raw meat. Was the bait in Return of the Jedi a raw or cooked carcass? I can't recall. I guess the Ewoks cooked their food, too.

 

The bait was a raw carcass. Maybe the Porgs had warning labels on them, advising that they be fully cooked before eating. :P

 

http://i0.wp.com/media2.slashfilm.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/sad-porg-700x300.jpg

 

http://www.rotinrice.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/RoastChicken-1.jpg

 

That’d go down nicely with a glass of green milk pus from that alien walrus udder

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In the next film, Chewbacca opens a restaurant called Chewy Porgs Plus. The highlight is when your Wookie waiter rips the head off of your personally selected Porg. Let the wine and blood flow! Aarrghhghrrrgh!!!

 

Or maybe "Chewie's Chewies"?

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In the next film, Chewbacca opens a restaurant called Chewy Porgs Plus. The highlight is when your Wookie waiter rips the head off of your personally selected Porg. Let the wine and blood flow! Aarrghhghrrrgh!!!

 

Or maybe "Chewie's Chewies"?

 

Even better!

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I saw the original 3 movies and ended my quest there.

 

Leia Poppins sounds like an English space porn film name :facepalm: please tell me that name wasn't really used...:LOL:

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I saw the original 3 movies and ended my quest there.

 

Leia Poppins sounds like an English space porn film name :facepalm: please tell me that name wasn't really used... :LOL:

 

It was not. - confirmed at work by some Wars' fans.

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