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Your Life is at Stake: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL! Which unstoppable good guys would you prefer to face?

treeduck

By treeduck,
in Video Vertigo

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Which unstoppable movie good guys will you face to save your life?  

8 members have voted

  1. 1. Round 1: James Bond Incarnations

    • 1962 era Sean Connery - a bare knuckle fight but with one leg tied to a pit-bull terrier
      1
    • 1974 era Roger Moore - a gun fight against Bond, the midget assassin Nick Nack AND Scaramanga himself Christopher Lee, but you only have 3 bullets
      1
    • 1987 era Timothy Dalton on skis in a deadly race across the Swiss Alps
      3
    • 1990's era Pierce Brosnan - a knife fight but you're naked with a bullet wound in the crotch
      2
    • Daniel Craig - a naked wrestling match in boiling oil
      1

  2. 2. Round 2: Martial Arts Kings

    • Bruce Lee - A straight up street fight, no weapons just you against Bruce
      1
    • 1985 era Jackie Chan - A Race across San Francisco rooftops, you don't have to kill him you have to win the race though or you die
      1
    • 1980's era Jet Li - A wushu Sword fight to the death
      2
    • 1984 era Jean-Claude Van Damme - A kickboxing contest, to the death!
      2
    • 1974 era Chuck Norris - A karate showdown with Chuck getting 5 free kicks to your head
      2

  3. 3. Round 3: Action Heroes

    • Rambo - A battle and with weapons...only Rambo has all the weapons!
      0
    • Dutch (Arnie - Predator) - A machete duel in the mud!
      3
    • John McLaine (Bruce in Die Hard) - A knife fight to the death only both your hands get cut off just before you start
      2
    • Chaney (Charles Bronson in Hard Times) - A street fight, Bronson get 6 free punches to your face before the fight starts
      1
    • Ivan Drago (1984 era DOLPH) - A boxing match to the finish! Three free punches to the face for Drago before the first bell
      2

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treeduck

treeduck

Posted
Posted (edited)

You've got to stay away from those abandoned towns! You've been kidnapped again! This time to save your own bacon you have to battle past movie GOOD guys! The ones that always seem to win, no matter what!

 

So once again you're all alone in an abandoned town, you're about to be executed by another bunch of mysterious kidnappers, they have a 44 magnum to your heart and a razor blade to your throat, but just like last time, at the last moment they decide not to kill you and instead offer you a way to earn back your life and freedom.

 

You have to survive some of the toughest and difficult to kill movie heroes in order to prevail. One by one, you'll take them on and with different weapons or no weapons. And also you have a choice who you face. Who you choose will determine which weapon you can use.

 

Who will you face? And who will you avoid? Who is the easiest to defeat? This is your choice, just like last time!

 

Same rules, once again you have a whole town to hide in and prepare your strategy. At the beginning of each round, once you've made your choice, you have 1 hour to set yourself up and make your stand before your enemy is released into the town.

 

One stipulation, you must kill each movie good guy you face no exceptions, or you get killed instead only slowly...

Edited by treeduck
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LyndseyG

LyndseyG

Posted
Posted

Ok, so....

 

Sean Connery. I could untie the dog and set him on Sean.

 

The wushu sword fight with Jet Li.

 

And

 

The mud fight with Dutch.

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JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm glad you asked.

 

Round 1...

 

1962 Connery...THE secret agent. He'd kick my ass then untie the bull terrier and keep him as a pet. I'd be bloodied and lying in the alley as those two walk towards their next 007 adventure together.

 

1974 Moore...Nick Nack biting my ankle would throw me off. I'd end up with two bullets between my eyes, a MooreLee death lullaby.

 

1987 Dalton...I like skiing but I'm not much of a skier. The easier black diamonds are doable but I'm busting on those at some point no matter what. The black diamond runs or moguls would kill me before Dalton would.

 

1990s Brosnan...yeah, I'm taking on this Bond. I don't care if I'm naked and have a knife in my crotch. I'll take THREE knives in my crotch! Pierce has made some dumb ass Bond movies and for that he's gonna pay!!!

 

Craig...naked with Craig?! f**k no! Seeing that stupid duck lip pucker thing he does + the hot oil might pump me up enough to want to batter him senseless. However, I'd rather not accidentally bump genitals to genitals just to win a fight.

 

 

:blaze:

Edited by JohnnyBlaze
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JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

Posted
Posted

Hey duck, you missed out on some film toughs, yeah?

 

No Dirty Harry asking me if I feel lucky before he blasts me?

 

No iron jawed and willed Rocky southpawing me to oblivion?

 

No double combo of Murtoch & Riggs filling me full of lead?

 

No Road Warrior running me over in his apocalypse mobile then siphoning my blood for fuel?

 

:hail:

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treeduck

treeduck

Posted
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Posted

Hey duck, you missed out on some film toughs, yeah?

 

No Dirty Harry asking me if I feel lucky before he blasts me?

 

No iron jawed and willed Rocky southpawing me to oblivion?

 

No double combo of Murtoch & Riggs filling me full of lead?

 

No Road Warrior running me over in his apocalypse mobile then siphoning my blood for fuel?

 

:hail:

I did forget Dirty Harry! But we can always save him for Part 3! :givebeer:

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Alien Girl

Alien Girl

Posted
Posted

Ok, Daniel Craig in oil...because it's Daniel Craig in oil. Slippery sucker, but then so am I. Patent move, thigh throat grip of death.

 

I had a dream once that I fought Bruce Lee, no, seriously I did...I can't remember if I won, but I remember doing pretty good. It wasn't a to-the-death type thing, but I vaguely recall Bruce congratulating me. So if I did pretty good in a dream, the reality should be somewhere in the doable ballpark. I hate to kill him though. Still... the 5 finger death punch should finish him off nicely. Just gotta stay out of his reach until it takes effect.

 

If Arnie can disguise himself in mud, I can disguise myself in mud. Lay in wait, spring up at last second, slice him across the throat with the machete. It's all about speed, and not letting him see the whites of your eyes...because that's what gave him away in Predator.

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JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

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Posted

Okay, so I've got three knife crotch scars from my 1st round Pierce Brosnan showdown but I'm not complaining. They add character.

 

On to Round 2...

 

 

Bruce Lee...I've got a better chance of turning water into wine. A handy trick.

 

1985 Jackie Chan...I only like running if I'm playing a sport. Running across rooftops, mountain tops, Triceratops, or whatever, the idea of just running AS the sport is a HUGE 'nope'.

 

1980s Jet Li...even his name sounds fast. And those blades cut. Pass.

 

1984 JCVD...he's the one I'd most like to defeat and I almost chose him. But I've got my sights on a greater cause...

 

1974 Chuck Norris...THIS is the greater cause! hate to do it because I don't mind Chuck but I'd really like to put an end to all of those awful Chuck Norris jokes. And the only way to do that is to have a regular guy like me take him down. Kick to the head? Sure, sign me up.

 

:blaze:

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blackhawkrush

blackhawkrush

Posted
Posted

By the way I threw in one bad guy, Ivan Drago, (and one location outside the abandoned town) because it just had to be! I must break you!

Abandoned town, Drago. Are you sure that wasn't a Get Smart episode? :unsure:
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Alien Girl

Alien Girl

Posted
Posted

uma thurman in kill bill.

 

all day.

every day.

 

Funny...I don't remember her being a choice.

 

But yes, even I admit she was a sexy beast in that.

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JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

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Current battle damage:

My crotch has those three knife wounds and my head is slightly dented in by Chuck Norris' rapid fire kicks.

 

But off I go to Round 3...

 

Rambo...he's too lean, experienced, and PTSD'd to try and beat. As Colonel Troutman once said, he can "eat things that'd make a billy goat puke." Well actually, so can I but I'd never sew my own arm up after free falling off a cliff and into a tree. That's tough!

 

Dutch...he made Apollo Creed look weak. I'm not messing with that.

 

McClaine...hands or no hands, I'm choosing him. Stormtron had a great idea by jamming the knife into one of his hand stumps then engaging in battle. I'd jam the knife into one of my crotch wounds. And since I have three crotch wounds from earlier, I can alternate. I'd essentially juggle the knife in my crotch and stab him anytime I'd like. Yippee-kaiyay mofo! Easy win here in the 3rd to close it out!

 

Chaney...Bronson's probably the one true tough guy of the batch. Maybe if he were the Death Wish character I'd stand a chance.

 

Ivan Drago...he's got a huge advantage with the reach. Drago's also a steroid fiend. Additionally, he made Apollo Creed look weak too! So much so that he killed him!

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