Jump to content

Are you a guy's girl?


x1yyz
 Share

Recommended Posts

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ohh, that is SO me. I do have a couple of good girlfriends, but for the most part am much more comfortable with men. I have a raunchy sense of humor, don't give a shit about fashion or purses or shoes, and have no time for the cattiness that so many women seem to indulge in.

I don't have time for cattiness either - so frustrating.

 

I do like purses and shoes - honestly though - I'm thrilled to bits with 12 different colours of 5 dollar flip flops as opposed to a pair of 2 or 3 hundred dollar shoes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

FWIW I'm bi, and have had relationships both with men and women, though truthfully I don't really date much at all, especially as I get older. As far as friends go, I'm pretty evenly balanced between men and women (and even between LGBT or not, too). I don't tolerate pettiness from either gender, or any sexuality. I just am too old for it now, it tires me. I think I'm a bit of an eccentric weirdo, and I tend to be drawn to other eccentric weirdos, too. :) Basically I just really like interesting people, regardless of their gender or age or size or whatever. I've seen a lot of pretty faces in my day, but I haven't heard nearly enough interesting stories. ;)

 

I've gone through a number of looks in my life (I definitely had my spikey hair/dykey phase in my early 30's), but the last couple of years I've been much girlier, and usually wear skirts and dresses these days. I like the girlish tomboy definition, I think that'd be me. Part of me is really into Dita Von Teese retro-femininity, but, like, I can also hang out at the music store and talk about Rickenbakers with the guys who work there. And I write stories about monsters! And I am really obsessively into progressive rock, which is supposed to be a guy thing, right? *shrug*

 

One thing I have noticed, that other women have mentioned here, is the lack of the competition BS as I get older. There's a thing I notice now about other women near my age, it's like we just seem to strike up conversations in public, and often laugh our asses off. It's such an awesome thing, and I think it's almost like an acknowledgement that we're both older and don't give a shit. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think it's a thing. :)

Edited by gudbuytjane
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(
Link to comment
Share on other sites

FWIW I'm bi, and have had relationships both with men and women, though truthfully I don't really date much at all, especially as I get older. As far as friends go, I'm pretty evenly balanced between men and women (and even between LGBT or not, too). I don't tolerate pettiness from either gender, or any sexuality. I just am too old for it now, it tires me. I think I'm a bit of an eccentric weirdo, and I tend to be drawn to other eccentric weirdos, too. :) Basically I just really like interesting people, regardless of their gender or age or size or whatever. I've seen a lot of pretty faces in my day, but I haven't heard nearly enough interesting stories. ;)

 

I've gone through a number of looks in my life (I definitely had my spikey hair/dykey phase in my early 30's), but the last couple of years I've been much girlier, and usually wear skirts and dresses these days. I like the girlish tomboy definition, I think that'd be me. Part of me is really into Dita Von Teese retro-femininity, but, like, I can also hang out at the music store and talk about Rickenbakers with the guys who work there. And I write stories about monsters! And I am really obsessively into progressive rock, which is supposed to be a guy thing, right? *shrug*

 

One thing I have noticed, that other women have mentioned here, is the lack of the competition BS as I get older. There's a thing I notice now about other women near my age, it's like we just seem to strike up conversations in public, and often laugh our asses off. It's such an awesome thing, and I think it's almost like an acknowledgement that we're both older and don't give a shit. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think it's a thing. :)

:cheers: from one eccentric weirdo to another... :)
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

FWIW I'm bi, and have had relationships both with men and women, though truthfully I don't really date much at all, especially as I get older. As far as friends go, I'm pretty evenly balanced between men and women (and even between LGBT or not, too). I don't tolerate pettiness from either gender, or any sexuality. I just am too old for it now, it tires me. I think I'm a bit of an eccentric weirdo, and I tend to be drawn to other eccentric weirdos, too. :) Basically I just really like interesting people, regardless of their gender or age or size or whatever. I've seen a lot of pretty faces in my day, but I haven't heard nearly enough interesting stories. ;)

 

I've gone through a number of looks in my life (I definitely had my spikey hair/dykey phase in my early 30's), but the last couple of years I've been much girlier, and usually wear skirts and dresses these days. I like the girlish tomboy definition, I think that'd be me. Part of me is really into Dita Von Teese retro-femininity, but, like, I can also hang out at the music store and talk about Rickenbakers with the guys who work there. And I write stories about monsters! And I am really obsessively into progressive rock, which is supposed to be a guy thing, right? *shrug*

 

One thing I have noticed, that other women have mentioned here, is the lack of the competition BS as I get older. There's a thing I notice now about other women near my age, it's like we just seem to strike up conversations in public, and often laugh our asses off. It's such an awesome thing, and I think it's almost like an acknowledgement that we're both older and don't give a shit. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think it's a thing. :)

:cheers: from one eccentric weirdo to another... :)

 

That's something I can cheers to! :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing I have noticed, that other women have mentioned here, is the lack of the competition BS as I get older. There's a thing I notice now about other women near my age, it's like we just seem to strike up conversations in public, and often laugh our asses off. It's such an awesome thing, and I think it's almost like an acknowledgement that we're both older and don't give a shit. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think it's a thing.

 

It makes perfect sense, and thank you for putting it so well. :cheers: :cheers:

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think a lot of the competitiveness with women comes from their insecurity about being able to make it in life on their own. So they feel like they have to have a man in their life which brings out the cattiness. Things are better now days than they used to be. It's okay for little girls to play with boys toys and little boys to play with girls dolls. Little girls are raised with more strong feminine influences them they were years ago. It's better but it's certainly not gone by any means. But I do think that's a lot of it.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

Sundog is the perfect amount of girly for me.

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth. If you have good, happy, positive and beautiful people in your life you should tell them as ofter as possible. There's enough negativity coming in from everywhere else.

 

:wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

Indeed and thanks for your response and interest... :)
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I'm reading through replies I'm wondering if the cattiness and competition between younger females is their equivalent of the aggression and posturing you see in males (of many species!) as they come of age? As a biologist/zoologist I am always looking for the most parsimonious (simplest) answer to things, and that is usually what we are biologically driven to do. This would certainly explain why it tapers off with age.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

 

Also, someone does not have to lose weight to be beautiful. It most certainly is a self esteem issue, and if one can learn to love themselves and their body at any weight then that is the best! This is something I've been struggling with my whole life, unfortunately. I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds and their comfort and happiness is reflected in their confidence, and it makes them more beautiful.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds

Well she isn't one of them. She thought she was fat and overweight when we met and she weighed 130 then. She would give up a finger to be that weight again...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have so many questions...may I ask away? A few of you ladies have hit on something I think will lead to a deeper place.

Screw it--here are the comments that stuck out to me:

 

1) It's much easier for me to have a conversation with a guy than with another girl--WHY?

2) Women tend to be very competitive and judgmental in comparison--WHY?

3) Have no time for the cattiness that so many women seem to indulge in--I don't have to ask why. That kinda shit gets old fast

 

Is it your opinion that women competing for the attention of males, or just attention? Is there an underlying control thing going on?

 

I wish I could answer your whys, but I don't know why some girls act that way. In my observations it seems to have dropped off with age, but that might also be a reflection of the female people I have in my life right now. I know when I was younger, in high school and the years after, the girls I met were manipulative, using their looks and charm to take advantage of other people and I did not want to have any part of that. I saw too many girls who would target what they wanted (popularity, a certain boy, physical objects) and wouldn't let anything stand in their way as they used everything at their disposal to get that thing. I also don't like the educational divide that happens between girls and boys, and the fact that it is assumed girls don't want to learn/will have difficulty learning math and science, so instead they are coddled and helped to avoid those subjects. This translates, in part, to some girls not liking the sciences and thinking less of the ones who do.

 

With guys it just seems like so much of this crap doesn't exist. As another poster mentioned, with guys you do run the risk of them wanting to change a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship (and to be fair, many of the guys I've slept with started off as friends) but that is easier to deal with, and it's one blatant thing that doesn't revolve around manipulation. And it doesn't always exists, especially if one or both of you are already involved in other relationships.

One of my very best friends is my ex-fiance. We were great friends prior to dating, and once a few years had passed after the broken engagement, we are back to that place. Now, does he want to sleep with me? Yep, and he freely admits it! But he is also happy with just being platonic and it's not weird at all.

Mara I'm not trying to be cute with this question. This is serious.

 

It's not weird that you know he wants to go further with you? It seems like he's pining a bit. He's done so in the past (i'm guessing), yet now that's not an option for him, but you're still great friends? He's still entertaining that fantasy. Is that healthy for both of you? Him especially? I need help with that. Maybe I'm weird

Edited by Tombstone Mountain
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have so many questions...may I ask away? A few of you ladies have hit on something I think will lead to a deeper place.

Screw it--here are the comments that stuck out to me:

 

1) It's much easier for me to have a conversation with a guy than with another girl--WHY?

2) Women tend to be very competitive and judgmental in comparison--WHY?

3) Have no time for the cattiness that so many women seem to indulge in--I don't have to ask why. That kinda shit gets old fast

 

Is it your opinion that women competing for the attention of males, or just attention? Is there an underlying control thing going on?

 

I wish I could answer your whys, but I don't know why some girls act that way. In my observations it seems to have dropped off with age, but that might also be a reflection of the female people I have in my life right now. I know when I was younger, in high school and the years after, the girls I met were manipulative, using their looks and charm to take advantage of other people and I did not want to have any part of that. I saw too many girls who would target what they wanted (popularity, a certain boy, physical objects) and wouldn't let anything stand in their way as they used everything at their disposal to get that thing. I also don't like the educational divide that happens between girls and boys, and the fact that it is assumed girls don't want to learn/will have difficulty learning math and science, so instead they are coddled and helped to avoid those subjects. This translates, in part, to some girls not liking the sciences and thinking less of the ones who do.

 

With guys it just seems like so much of this crap doesn't exist. As another poster mentioned, with guys you do run the risk of them wanting to change a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship (and to be fair, many of the guys I've slept with started off as friends) but that is easier to deal with, and it's one blatant thing that doesn't revolve around manipulation. And it doesn't always exists, especially if one or both of you are already involved in other relationships.

One of my very best friends is my ex-fiance. We were great friends prior to dating, and once a few years had passed after the broken engagement, we are back to that place. Now, does he want to sleep with me? Yep, and he freely admits it! But he is also happy with just being platonic and it's not weird at all.

Mara I'm not trying to be cute with this question. This is serious.

 

It's not weird that you know he wants to go further with you? It seems like he's pining a bit. He's done so in the past (i'm guessing), yet now that's not an option for him, but you're still great friends? He's still entertaining that fantasy. Is that healthy for both of you? Him especially? I need help with that. Maybe I'm weird

 

He's not pining. He really isn't. You'd have to know him. He's bold, cheerfully confident, and forward without being pushy at all. We started off as great friends for a while before we became a couple. We reconnected about 6 years ago (engagement broke off in 1996, after we'd been together 8 years with a couple of short splits). He's just out there and so am I. It's comfortable with him. He knows where the boundaries are and would never try to get me to do anything I didn't want to do. I also know that if I ever, ever needed him for something, he'd be here. He is that kind of a person. Just not someone I could have married, and that shakes both ways.

 

It IS weird, and rare. And perhaps it would be different if he lived closer (he's in Delaware, and I am in GA). But we're not, so that isn't a problem.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have so many questions...may I ask away? A few of you ladies have hit on something I think will lead to a deeper place.

Screw it--here are the comments that stuck out to me:

 

1) It's much easier for me to have a conversation with a guy than with another girl--WHY?

2) Women tend to be very competitive and judgmental in comparison--WHY?

3) Have no time for the cattiness that so many women seem to indulge in--I don't have to ask why. That kinda shit gets old fast

 

Is it your opinion that women competing for the attention of males, or just attention? Is there an underlying control thing going on?

 

I wish I could answer your whys, but I don't know why some girls act that way. In my observations it seems to have dropped off with age, but that might also be a reflection of the female people I have in my life right now. I know when I was younger, in high school and the years after, the girls I met were manipulative, using their looks and charm to take advantage of other people and I did not want to have any part of that. I saw too many girls who would target what they wanted (popularity, a certain boy, physical objects) and wouldn't let anything stand in their way as they used everything at their disposal to get that thing. I also don't like the educational divide that happens between girls and boys, and the fact that it is assumed girls don't want to learn/will have difficulty learning math and science, so instead they are coddled and helped to avoid those subjects. This translates, in part, to some girls not liking the sciences and thinking less of the ones who do.

 

With guys it just seems like so much of this crap doesn't exist. As another poster mentioned, with guys you do run the risk of them wanting to change a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship (and to be fair, many of the guys I've slept with started off as friends) but that is easier to deal with, and it's one blatant thing that doesn't revolve around manipulation. And it doesn't always exists, especially if one or both of you are already involved in other relationships.

One of my very best friends is my ex-fiance. We were great friends prior to dating, and once a few years had passed after the broken engagement, we are back to that place. Now, does he want to sleep with me? Yep, and he freely admits it! But he is also happy with just being platonic and it's not weird at all.

Mara I'm not trying to be cute with this question. This is serious.

 

It's not weird that you know he wants to go further with you? It seems like he's pining a bit. He's done so in the past (i'm guessing), yet now that's not an option for him, but you're still great friends? He's still entertaining that fantasy. Is that healthy for both of you? Him especially? I need help with that. Maybe I'm weird

 

He's not pining. He really isn't. You'd have to know him. He's bold, cheerfully confident, and forward without being pushy at all. We started off as great friends for a while before we became a couple. We reconnected about 6 years ago (engagement broke off in 1996, after we'd been together 8 years with a couple of short splits). He's just out there and so am I. It's comfortable with him. He knows where the boundaries are and would never try to get me to do anything I didn't want to do. I also know that if I ever, ever needed him for something, he'd be here. He is that kind of a person. Just not someone I could have married, and that shakes both ways.

 

It IS weird, and rare. And perhaps it would be different if he lived closer (he's in Delaware, and I am in GA). But we're not, so that isn't a problem.

I really appreciate your candor. Wow, if only guys could share like this! Apprently this is a hot topic. There's 24 visitors on this thread right now

Edited by Tombstone Mountain
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds

Well she isn't one of them. She thought she was fat and overweight when we met and she weighed 130 then. She would give up a finger to be that weight again...

 

I've known women like that. They make their weight an issue in their lives when it's not really about the weight at all. It's more about being afraid to be seen as sexually appealing.

 

I want to append my comment and say that I'm talking about women who don't have physical issues that cause weight gain, but ones where it's psychological.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have so many questions...may I ask away? A few of you ladies have hit on something I think will lead to a deeper place.

Screw it--here are the comments that stuck out to me:

 

1) It's much easier for me to have a conversation with a guy than with another girl--WHY?

2) Women tend to be very competitive and judgmental in comparison--WHY?

3) Have no time for the cattiness that so many women seem to indulge in--I don't have to ask why. That kinda shit gets old fast

 

Is it your opinion that women competing for the attention of males, or just attention? Is there an underlying control thing going on?

 

I wish I could answer your whys, but I don't know why some girls act that way. In my observations it seems to have dropped off with age, but that might also be a reflection of the female people I have in my life right now. I know when I was younger, in high school and the years after, the girls I met were manipulative, using their looks and charm to take advantage of other people and I did not want to have any part of that. I saw too many girls who would target what they wanted (popularity, a certain boy, physical objects) and wouldn't let anything stand in their way as they used everything at their disposal to get that thing. I also don't like the educational divide that happens between girls and boys, and the fact that it is assumed girls don't want to learn/will have difficulty learning math and science, so instead they are coddled and helped to avoid those subjects. This translates, in part, to some girls not liking the sciences and thinking less of the ones who do.

 

With guys it just seems like so much of this crap doesn't exist. As another poster mentioned, with guys you do run the risk of them wanting to change a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship (and to be fair, many of the guys I've slept with started off as friends) but that is easier to deal with, and it's one blatant thing that doesn't revolve around manipulation. And it doesn't always exists, especially if one or both of you are already involved in other relationships.

One of my very best friends is my ex-fiance. We were great friends prior to dating, and once a few years had passed after the broken engagement, we are back to that place. Now, does he want to sleep with me? Yep, and he freely admits it! But he is also happy with just being platonic and it's not weird at all.

Mara I'm not trying to be cute with this question. This is serious.

 

It's not weird that you know he wants to go further with you? It seems like he's pining a bit. He's done so in the past (i'm guessing), yet now that's not an option for him, but you're still great friends? He's still entertaining that fantasy. Is that healthy for both of you? Him especially? I need help with that. Maybe I'm weird

 

He's not pining. He really isn't. You'd have to know him. He's bold, cheerfully confident, and forward without being pushy at all. We started off as great friends for a while before we became a couple. We reconnected about 6 years ago (engagement broke off in 1996, after we'd been together 8 years with a couple of short splits). He's just out there and so am I. It's comfortable with him. He knows where the boundaries are and would never try to get me to do anything I didn't want to do. I also know that if I ever, ever needed him for something, he'd be here. He is that kind of a person. Just not someone I could have married, and that shakes both ways.

 

It IS weird, and rare. And perhaps it would be different if he lived closer (he's in Delaware, and I am in GA). But we're not, so that isn't a problem.

I really appreciate your candor. Wow, if only guys could share like this! Apprently this is a hot topic. There's 24 visitors on this thread right now

 

I mean, this morning he texted me with "Hey, hottie!" We exchanged a little banter, then had a more substantial conversation. I really can't explain it - it's just easy and comfortable with him to be kind of bold and flirty now and then. If I wanted to move the boundaries? I know he'd go for it. But it'd be entirely up to me.

 

It is a unique friendship.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds

Well she isn't one of them. She thought she was fat and overweight when we met and she weighed 130 then. She would give up a finger to be that weight again...

 

Oh, I didn't mean to imply she was one of them. I just meant to say that there are some very large women who are fine with their size (and so are their boyfriends!).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds

Well she isn't one of them. She thought she was fat and overweight when we met and she weighed 130 then. She would give up a finger to be that weight again...

There are some very large women who are fine with their size and so are their boyfriends!.

Yep you're right! Here's proof:

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm both.

 

I relate more to men, but I think I'm girly.

I have girl friends - but my best friend is Digi :wub:

I like "pretty"

I like doing my hair, and makeup (but I'm not afraid to go without & I still feel good without them "done.")

I enjoy getting my nails done - but haven't had the luxury of the extra cash for a few years to spend 40-50/ month on them. I'd rather save for a vacation or concert.

I also like loud music, and concerts and beer and partying.

I very much enjoy being told I'm pretty - and since Digi tells me everyday - I consider myself spoiled.

 

*edit for grammar :doh:

 

 

 

I tell her she is beautiful everyday because it happens to be the truth.

This is a wonderful thing but not so wonderful when you do this and they don't believe you... :sigh:

That's a self esteem issue for them. :(

Oh yes. She has plenty of that. She is well overweight and hates it. That is the crux of the problem. When it comes to such things as I have found out myself, if you want to change something it must come from within for it ever to get done. If she ever decides to do something about it I will support her and have in the past but she gives up very quickly. She is still beautiful to me but she sadly doesn't buy it... :(

You're so right. It HAS to start from her.

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

I know women who are perfectly happy weighing 250, 300 pounds

Well she isn't one of them. She thought she was fat and overweight when we met and she weighed 130 then. She would give up a finger to be that weight again...

 

Oh, I didn't mean to imply she was one of them. I just meant to say that there are some very large women who are fine with their size (and so are their boyfriends!).

I know you didn't mean anything by it. I know there are ladies that say and appear to be cool with it. Some probably truly are but I bet most aren't. My wife most certainly isn't happy with it at all... :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Losing weight is difficult. And such a slow process, if you do it right.

:heart: It's hard to bang your heart against some mad buggers wall someone that doesn't believe you.

Here are some of my opinions.... It can be difficult losing weight. It gets harder as you age. You need to eliminate medical reasons that may prevent you from losing. Not every diet works for each individual. You have to find one that works and once you start seeing results, you have to stick to it. Something has to spark you to make it your top priority. You learn what patience is about and don't beat yourself up when you stumble.

As for the topic, I think I'm more of a guy's girl. I didn't wear a wedding gown when I got married (just a dress), no veil either. I like pro sports which most guys do also.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...