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Narp, to try to get back to the spirit and the intention of your initial post in this thread- my father is also a man of science. He was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade, and then, when given the choice, he chose to go to public high school. Ivy League graduate (Brown University, class of 1967), earned his Ph.D. when he was 28, and has had a long career as an engineer, and for the past 22 years, also a business owner. He abhors organized religion altogether, and his view is that his god is the universe- because, as he says, "There is nothing bigger than that." I say to each his or her own...I'm also not a fan of organized religions, but as a recovered alcoholic, I'm very well acquainted with my spiritual beliefs. My dad and I are just very different people when it comes to these matters, but it's not something that has caused tension between us; we're just not terribly close. But between him and my mother, I would say I'll definitely notice him being gone more than I will my mother. I have much closer ties to my dad's side of the family- but that may be mainly because he comes from a much larger family anyway.

 

It's unfortunate that when it comes to parenting, the vast majority of things I've learned from my parents are examples of things I DON'T want to do to my own children (meaning I look at both of them, separately, and most of the time I think to myself- OK, see, I definitely don't want to do that. They just haven't set the examples that I strive to set for my kids, in most areas).

 

Bottom line, with the experience that I've had just on my own, I feel pretty well grounded and pretty well equipped (well, most of the time, hahaha) to raise children.

Men of science are interesting folks to be sure. I would consider my father eccentric in many ways but in ways I have grow to love and appreciate over the years. He and I are really alot alike so I am told and apparently I am even more like his father than him. I am very serious mostly but love to make sort of dry jokes but look serious when doing it. I don't do it purposely but its just the way I am and my grandfather was just like that. My wife has to explain me from time to time to folks that don't know me..... :LOL:
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My parents are kinda into their own lives. It's sad but, I'm am the black sheep (middle child) and we don't really talk much. My dad will call but it's mostly his obligatory call because (I think) his wife tells him to call. My mom feigns interest but I think is happier living her own life away from me. She likes to be thought of as a great parent or grandparent but doesn't want to actually be either. Just wants the reputation.

 

My point, I don't really know them well at all. :huh:

 

My relationship with my parents is a lot like this. I will say that I have some good conversations with my dad sometimes, and that has only started in the past few years (I'm 41as of this writing). But I only go to his house about twice a year, and he comes to mine once a year (and we live 20 minutes apart).

 

Neither of my parents are all that much into being grandparents, and they do their own thing. My mother and stepfather travel pretty much all the time, and that's their thing. I see them about three times a year.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

I suppose I shouldn't say that because I'm not in that situation yet, but that's kind of how I feel now.

 

Wow. What I just read could have been something I wrote. That was weird.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

That kind of sums it up for me, too. My dad will call and I will genuinely be excited to tell him something and as I start telling the story I hear, "Well, that's great, that's great. Alright, I'll talk to you later."

 

For him it's more about him calling than it is actually talking to me.

 

For the record, I'm 43 years old, been playing out in clubs since I was 17 and neither my mom or dad have ever seen me play bass and sing on a stage. Weird.

 

Kenny, what you said about the phone calls with your dad- that's exactly the way it is with my mother. I normally talk to her on the phone whenever she and my step father are in town- about once every couple of months- and after about fifteen minutes, she starts looking for reasons why she has to go.

 

Another thing- I started hosting Thanksgiving at my house three or four years ago, and I always invite them, but they've never attended. A couple of times, they've actually stayed home alone. My conscience is clean, though, because I'm the one who makes the approach. Whatever they do is their choice- and they make that abundantly clear.

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My parents are kinda into their own lives. It's sad but, I'm am the black sheep (middle child) and we don't really talk much. My dad will call but it's mostly his obligatory call because (I think) his wife tells him to call. My mom feigns interest but I think is happier living her own life away from me. She likes to be thought of as a great parent or grandparent but doesn't want to actually be either. Just wants the reputation.

 

My point, I don't really know them well at all. :huh:

 

My relationship with my parents is a lot like this. I will say that I have some good conversations with my dad sometimes, and that has only started in the past few years (I'm 41as of this writing). But I only go to his house about twice a year, and he comes to mine once a year (and we live 20 minutes apart).

 

Neither of my parents are all that much into being grandparents, and they do their own thing. My mother and stepfather travel pretty much all the time, and that's their thing. I see them about three times a year.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

I suppose I shouldn't say that because I'm not in that situation yet, but that's kind of how I feel now.

 

Wow. What I just read could have been something I wrote. That was weird.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

That kind of sums it up for me, too. My dad will call and I will genuinely be excited to tell him something and as I start telling the story I hear, "Well, that's great, that's great. Alright, I'll talk to you later."

 

For him it's more about him calling than it is actually talking to me.

 

For the record, I'm 43 years old, been playing out in clubs since I was 17 and neither my mom or dad have ever seen me play bass and sing on a stage. Weird.

As I have posted on here before, my father would and has paid for his children, childrens children to take music lessons on any instrument for any length of time. He feels its that important to the brains development and potential...

 

Sounds like a good man! :D

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I have lived with my parents my entire life.....because of my condition......there's really no other choice. I know them very well as people cause well......i'm always here. We've had many discussions about well......everything. they are 2 of the finest people i know simply because they've let me grow into my own views on my own. They had many opportunities to influence me yet they have not. Just to use an example my entire family is deeply religious.....save for me. Yet they never once got angry when i said i was an atheist and that religion was no longer making me happy. the point of all this is that my parents and i have a very open and healthy relationship.

 

Mick

 

Sorry, saw religion and had to post this. I LOL'd!

 

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My parents are kinda into their own lives. It's sad but, I'm am the black sheep (middle child) and we don't really talk much. My dad will call but it's mostly his obligatory call because (I think) his wife tells him to call. My mom feigns interest but I think is happier living her own life away from me. She likes to be thought of as a great parent or grandparent but doesn't want to actually be either. Just wants the reputation.

 

My point, I don't really know them well at all. :huh:

 

My relationship with my parents is a lot like this. I will say that I have some good conversations with my dad sometimes, and that has only started in the past few years (I'm 41as of this writing). But I only go to his house about twice a year, and he comes to mine once a year (and we live 20 minutes apart).

 

Neither of my parents are all that much into being grandparents, and they do their own thing. My mother and stepfather travel pretty much all the time, and that's their thing. I see them about three times a year.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

I suppose I shouldn't say that because I'm not in that situation yet, but that's kind of how I feel now.

 

Wow. What I just read could have been something I wrote. That was weird.

 

The saddest thing is that they'll be gone before I know it, and I don't even know if I'm going to notice. :huh:

 

That kind of sums it up for me, too. My dad will call and I will genuinely be excited to tell him something and as I start telling the story I hear, "Well, that's great, that's great. Alright, I'll talk to you later."

 

For him it's more about him calling than it is actually talking to me.

 

For the record, I'm 43 years old, been playing out in clubs since I was 17 and neither my mom or dad have ever seen me play bass and sing on a stage. Weird.

 

Kenny, what you said about the phone calls with your dad- that's exactly the way it is with my mother. I normally talk to her on the phone whenever she and my step father are in town- about once every couple of months- and after about fifteen minutes, she starts looking for reasons why she has to go.

 

Another thing- I started hosting Thanksgiving at my house three or four years ago, and I always invite them, but they've never attended. A couple of times, they've actually stayed home alone. My conscience is clean, though, because I'm the one who makes the approach. Whatever they do is their choice- and they make that abundantly clear.

 

I am really glad you two wrote all that out so I didn't have to. That is almost exactly how things usually go with my dad as well. My mom puts in more effort and seems to genuinely care about her grandkids. Unfortunately most of the stories she tells when she visits are about my brother but she thinks they are things I did which gets very irritating after about three days because she talks A LOT. That's about the time I am ready for her to go home, but she usually stays for about 10 days.

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Narp, to try to get back to the spirit and the intention of your initial post in this thread- my father is also a man of science. He was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade, and then, when given the choice, he chose to go to public high school. Ivy League graduate (Brown University, class of 1967), earned his Ph.D. when he was 28, and has had a long career as an engineer, and for the past 22 years, also a business owner. He abhors organized religion altogether, and his view is that his god is the universe- because, as he says, "There is nothing bigger than that." I say to each his or her own...I'm also not a fan of organized religions, but as a recovered alcoholic, I'm very well acquainted with my spiritual beliefs. My dad and I are just very different people when it comes to these matters, but it's not something that has caused tension between us; we're just not terribly close. But between him and my mother, I would say I'll definitely notice him being gone more than I will my mother. I have much closer ties to my dad's side of the family- but that may be mainly because he comes from a much larger family anyway.

 

It's unfortunate that when it comes to parenting, the vast majority of things I've learned from my parents are examples of things I DON'T want to do to my own children (meaning I look at both of them, separately, and most of the time I think to myself- OK, see, I definitely don't want to do that. They just haven't set the examples that I strive to set for my kids, in most areas).

 

Bottom line, with the experience that I've had just on my own, I feel pretty well grounded and pretty well equipped (well, most of the time, hahaha) to raise children.

Men of science are interesting folks to be sure. I would consider my father eccentric in many ways but in ways I have grow to love and appreciate over the years. He and I are really alot alike so I am told and apparently I am even more like his father than him. I am very serious mostly but love to make sort of dry jokes but look serious when doing it. I don't do it purposely but its just the way I am and my grandfather was just like that. My wife has to explain me from time to time to folks that don't know me..... :LOL:

 

Heh, you sound exactly like my husband (who is a physicist, btw). And friends have said my sense of humour, which has always been silly and dark, has gotten more dry since meeting him :D

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Narp, to try to get back to the spirit and the intention of your initial post in this thread- my father is also a man of science. He was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade, and then, when given the choice, he chose to go to public high school. Ivy League graduate (Brown University, class of 1967), earned his Ph.D. when he was 28, and has had a long career as an engineer, and for the past 22 years, also a business owner. He abhors organized religion altogether, and his view is that his god is the universe- because, as he says, "There is nothing bigger than that." I say to each his or her own...I'm also not a fan of organized religions, but as a recovered alcoholic, I'm very well acquainted with my spiritual beliefs. My dad and I are just very different people when it comes to these matters, but it's not something that has caused tension between us; we're just not terribly close. But between him and my mother, I would say I'll definitely notice him being gone more than I will my mother. I have much closer ties to my dad's side of the family- but that may be mainly because he comes from a much larger family anyway.

 

It's unfortunate that when it comes to parenting, the vast majority of things I've learned from my parents are examples of things I DON'T want to do to my own children (meaning I look at both of them, separately, and most of the time I think to myself- OK, see, I definitely don't want to do that. They just haven't set the examples that I strive to set for my kids, in most areas).

 

Bottom line, with the experience that I've had just on my own, I feel pretty well grounded and pretty well equipped (well, most of the time, hahaha) to raise children.

Men of science are interesting folks to be sure. I would consider my father eccentric in many ways but in ways I have grow to love and appreciate over the years. He and I are really alot alike so I am told and apparently I am even more like his father than him. I am very serious mostly but love to make sort of dry jokes but look serious when doing it. I don't do it purposely but its just the way I am and my grandfather was just like that. My wife has to explain me from time to time to folks that don't know me..... :LOL:

 

Heh, you sound exactly like my husband (who is a physicist, btw). And friends have said my sense of humour, which has always been silly and dark, has gotten more dry since meeting him :D

.... Edited by Narpski
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Narp, to try to get back to the spirit and the intention of your initial post in this thread- my father is also a man of science. He was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade, and then, when given the choice, he chose to go to public high school. Ivy League graduate (Brown University, class of 1967), earned his Ph.D. when he was 28, and has had a long career as an engineer, and for the past 22 years, also a business owner. He abhors organized religion altogether, and his view is that his god is the universe- because, as he says, "There is nothing bigger than that." I say to each his or her own...I'm also not a fan of organized religions, but as a recovered alcoholic, I'm very well acquainted with my spiritual beliefs. My dad and I are just very different people when it comes to these matters, but it's not something that has caused tension between us; we're just not terribly close. But between him and my mother, I would say I'll definitely notice him being gone more than I will my mother. I have much closer ties to my dad's side of the family- but that may be mainly because he comes from a much larger family anyway.

 

It's unfortunate that when it comes to parenting, the vast majority of things I've learned from my parents are examples of things I DON'T want to do to my own children (meaning I look at both of them, separately, and most of the time I think to myself- OK, see, I definitely don't want to do that. They just haven't set the examples that I strive to set for my kids, in most areas).

 

Bottom line, with the experience that I've had just on my own, I feel pretty well grounded and pretty well equipped (well, most of the time, hahaha) to raise children.

Men of science are interesting folks to be sure. I would consider my father eccentric in many ways but in ways I have grow to love and appreciate over the years. He and I are really alot alike so I am told and apparently I am even more like his father than him. I am very serious mostly but love to make sort of dry jokes but look serious when doing it. I don't do it purposely but its just the way I am and my grandfather was just like that. My wife has to explain me from time to time to folks that don't know me..... :LOL:

 

Heh, you sound exactly like my husband (who is a physicist, btw). And friends have said my sense of humour, which has always been silly and dark, has gotten more dry since meeting him :D

Is he handsome as well?... :LOL:

 

I think so :D

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My father said to me first that you can't prove there isn't a God just like you can't prove there is one. Then he said to me so matter of fact "well I guess you could say I am somewhere between an agnostic and a believer". I was like . He said if I turn out to be correct I go to heaven as promised and if I am wrong I have lost nothing.

 

I think they call that "Pascal's Wager". :)

 

I don't know what Pascal's Wager is, but I like Narp's quote. :)

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My parents are kinda into their own lives. It's sad but, I'm am the black sheep (middle child) and we don't really talk much. My dad will call but it's mostly his obligatory call because (I think) his wife tells him to call. My mom feigns interest but I think is happier living her own life away from me. She likes to be thought of as a great parent or grandparent but doesn't want to actually be either. Just wants the reputation.

 

My point, I don't really know them well at all. :huh:

 

Interesting,

 

Same here in way. I haven't seen or talked with my father since my brother died back in 1978. I have fond memories of him as a small child. My mother and I never really hit it off. Out of five children, I was the one who would call her and her husband out on certain things while growing up. That never went over well. :LOL: I have tried to ask about certain things at times these days but she is too stubborn to admit to them or really get in to it. Oh well, I love her and I know she loves me. She is just stuck in her ways.

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I never really got to know my mother all that well - she spent practically the whole time drunk. She'd pick fights with my dad, accused him of cheating and made out I sided with him the whole time she chewed his ass off, and on one occasion, tried to kill him. On rare occasions, I could talk to her, but in-depth conversations were impossible.

 

I never felt that I was good enough for her, I always sought her approval, but I felt I might've been just talking to the air.

 

She died nearly 20 years ago. I wish I could've have one good conversation with her.

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I never really got to know my mother all that well - she spent practically the whole time drunk. She'd pick fights with my dad, accused him of cheating and made out I sided with him the whole time she chewed his ass off, and on one occasion, tried to kill him. On rare occasions, I could talk to her, but in-depth conversations were impossible.

 

I never felt that I was good enough for her, I always sought her approval, but I felt I might've been just talking to the air.

 

She died nearly 20 years ago. I wish I could've have one good conversation with her.

:( :hug2:
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My father said to me first that you can't prove there isn't a God just like you can't prove there is one. Then he said to me so matter of fact "well I guess you could say I am somewhere between an agnostic and a believer". I was like . He said if I turn out to be correct I go to heaven as promised and if I am wrong I have lost nothing.

 

I think they call that "Pascal's Wager". :)

 

I don't know what Pascal's Wager is, but I like Narp's quote. :)

I guess I feel pretty much the same as my father with the exception of that I am not a fan of organized religion and don't participate. I do however believe that there is something greater at work here than mere mankind. This world is just to perfect with all things provided for us to live, love and be happy provided we don't f**k it up. I believe that doing kindness will come back to you in the end and even if I am wrong whats the harm in being kind. Somebody calls you an @sshole you surprise the hell out of them and say something kind. It works and has worked. For me personally nobody has ever threatened a loved one of mine so I have never been in a physical altercation in my life and hope never too. It just seems silly to me. Seems to me controlling oneself is part of being righteous (hate that word but its the best I could do) and a good human being striving to be as perfect as humanly possible. Strive always to be the better person. Set a good example etc. Anyway thats how I see it. (puts away the soapbox).... :codger: :outtahere:
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My father said to me first that you can't prove there isn't a God just like you can't prove there is one. Then he said to me so matter of fact "well I guess you could say I am somewhere between an agnostic and a believer". I was like . He said if I turn out to be correct I go to heaven as promised and if I am wrong I have lost nothing.

 

I think they call that "Pascal's Wager". :)

 

I don't know what Pascal's Wager is, but I like Narp's quote. :)

I guess I feel pretty much the same as my father with the exception of that I am not a fan of organized religion and don't participate. I do however believe that there is something greater at work here than mere mankind. This world is just to perfect with all things provided for us to live, love and be happy provided we don't f**k it up. I believe that doing kindness will come back to you in the end and even if I am wrong whats the harm in being kind. Somebody calls you an @sshole you surprise the hell out of them and say something kind. It works and has worked. For me personally nobody has ever threatened a loved one of mine so I have never been in a physical altercation in my life and hope never too. It just seems silly to me. Seems to me controlling oneself is part of being righteous (hate that word but its the best I could do) and a good human being striving to be as perfect as humanly possible. Strive always to be the better person. Set a good example etc. Anyway thats how I see it. (puts away the soapbox).... :codger: :outtahere:

 

:goodone:

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