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Please, someone, I need help…


Moonlit Dreamer
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What if things don’t work out though? What if I end up on the streets? I earn a total of $350 per month. Where’s that going to get me?! I’m trying to calm down, but I’m finding it difficult. I was in the living room standing in front of my Dad’s urn earlier, saying, “Dad, why did you drink yourself to death?! Why did you have to leave me?!” I mean, what if she’s in jail for months? I have never felt this horrible in my entire life. It’s ironic how when faced with a new tragedy, some other memories of the past do not seem as bad as they did then. My parents having violent fights and screaming at me about how useless I was? At least they were still here to yell. I can’t handle this constant loneliness. When is it ever going to get better for me? I mean really… this life is just ridiculous now. I’m listening to Red Sector A right now, and wow, the lyrics have a new meaning to me now…

 

Not to sound harsh, but nothing will work out if you don't take some sort of action. I know I am a stranger, but I've dedicated my life to serving people...and most of those people have been complete strangers to me. My intentions are good. I was a highly decorated police officer and had more letters of appreciation in my personnel file than pretty much any other cop in my department.

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What if things don’t work out though? What if I end up on the streets? I earn a total of $350 per month. Where’s that going to get me?! I’m trying to calm down, but I’m finding it difficult. I was in the living room standing in front of my Dad’s urn earlier, saying, “Dad, why did you drink yourself to death?! Why did you have to leave me?!” I mean, what if she’s in jail for months? I have never felt this horrible in my entire life. It’s ironic how when faced with a new tragedy, some other memories of the past do not seem as bad as they did then. My parents having violent fights and screaming at me about how useless I was? At least they were still here to yell. I can’t handle this constant loneliness. When is it ever going to get better for me? I mean really… this life is just ridiculous now. I’m listening to Red Sector A right now, and wow, the lyrics have a new meaning to me now…

 

Your parent's used to scream at you about being useless? Maybe this is your time to make a clean break.

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Look, IR, I didn't want to sound harsh either, but it really is time, at the age of 22, to take charge of your own life.

 

And please stop with the "what ifs" - they don't help a bit.

 

If you choose to do so, you can put your life in the direction you want it to go in.

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I just saw this thread but others have given wonderful advice.

 

I know it is difficult but the best thing you can do is to stay calm, think clearly, and don't do anything rash. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed take a few seconds and do some deep breathing. Close your eyes, inhale slowly and deeply, and exhale slowly. Repeat a few times. This has a physical effect on the body and will help to calm you down.

 

This is a tough situation but by no means is your life ruined! You are young and just getting started in life and have plenty of time to make things good. I understand being worried about your pets (mine are always on my mind in a crisis.) If you have no one that can house them when you move then check with local vets to see if there is a crisis-type place that will take them, or bring them in to the SPCA. They will be in better hands than if you just leave them in your house.

 

Hugs and good thoughts to you. You will come out of this.

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What if things don’t work out though? What if I end up on the streets? I earn a total of $350 per month. Where’s that going to get me?! I’m trying to calm down, but I’m finding it difficult. I was in the living room standing in front of my Dad’s urn earlier, saying, “Dad, why did you drink yourself to death?! Why did you have to leave me?!” I mean, what if she’s in jail for months? I have never felt this horrible in my entire life. It’s ironic how when faced with a new tragedy, some other memories of the past do not seem as bad as they did then. My parents having violent fights and screaming at me about how useless I was? At least they were still here to yell. I can’t handle this constant loneliness. When is it ever going to get better for me? I mean really… this life is just ridiculous now. I’m listening to Red Sector A right now, and wow, the lyrics have a new meaning to me now…

 

Your parent's used to scream at you about being useless? Maybe this is your time to make a clean break.

Agreed. This may sound kind of silly but I remember hearing something once about God closing a door but opening a window. This could be one of those times where everything changes because it must and eventually your life will improve because of it...... :rose: Edited by Narpski
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I spent the first 16 years of my life emotionally co-dependent on my mother. It was DAMAGING. I'm just now realizing how terrible it was and I'm 31 now. If she treats you this way and doesn't make good decisions it is time for you to find a way to break free even though it's one of the most horrifying things you'll ever do.
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I am done at work so I have to take off, please let Rushchick help you or call the number okay?

*hugs*

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I spent the first 16 years of my life emotionally co-dependent on my mother. It was DAMAGING. I'm just now realizing how terrible it was and I'm 31 now. If she treats you this way and doesn't make good decisions it is time for you to find a way to break free even though it's one of the most horrifying things you'll ever do.

 

Gangster and I don't always agree on everything (well, actually I've only found one thing we disagree on, but I still am quite fond of her :D ), but she is absolutely right on this subject. I, too, was very co-dependent on my mother up until I FINALLY defied her and accepted a bus ticket from my boyfriend at the time to visit him in Miami where he was attending college. I lived there with him for a little over a month. I only came back because I had pets and property still in Idaho. That month was the VERY best thing I EVER did for myself. I proved that I could make it outside of her, and that there are plenty of people in this world who care about me and will help. I came back...and, within two hours of me getting home I emerged from the shower (3 days on a Greyhound is bad for hygiene) to find my mother crazed and going after my father with sharp objects from the kitchen. I intervened and got 10 stitches in my hand for my trouble when I tried to wrestle a knife from her hands.

 

I survived. I eventually broke up with that boyfriend, but the lessons I learned during that month still resonate to this day, 17+ years later. It's possible. Take it from someone who proved it so.

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Go somewhere where you wont be alone...even to a movie till you figure out what to do.

Animal shelters will take your animals if absolutely necessary. I know thats hard to do tho.

People will help if you open your arms. We all love you here !

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Look, IR, I didn't want to sound harsh either, but it really is time, at the age of 22, to take charge of your own life.

 

And please stop with the "what ifs" - they don't help a bit.

 

If you choose to do so, you can put your life in the direction you want it to go in.

 

Agree 100%. It's time to move on, make a life plan, and start today. Fear is the only thing holding anyone from starting a new life.

 

Courage, determination, SUCCESS. :)

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I just now saw this thread, too, and I'm so sorry...but I have to take issue with one of the first things you said- that it was your fault that your mother was arrested. No, it wasn't. If she had outstanding charges like that and was choosing to go out and drive a car anywhere, on the interstate or not, it was only a matter of time. Don't defeat yourself about it. Take a few more hours, take a step back and think about the things that you can control. If her jail time is going to run longer than the time you have with the house, then you may have quite a bit of work to do. I don't know what other advice I can offer except that it is hard, yes...but not the end of the world.

 

You do have friends here, you know...for what it's worth.

 

:hug2: :hug2:

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IR, please keep us updated on your status.

 

You've been through so much in your life...no one should EVER EVER EVER hear from their parents what you've heard from yours.

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Edited by laughedatbytime
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I've reached out privately and have not gotten a response. If anyone knows this gal beyond this forum please let me know. I am becoming worried.
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I've reached out privately and have not gotten a response. If anyone knows this gal beyond this forum please let me know. I am becoming worried.

 

Speaking as someone who has some life experience with the kind of tumult she's going through, honestly I'd say it's touch-and-go right now. But she's stronger than she gives herself credit for; we all are. I believe she'll see it through, no matter what it takes.

 

But I am hoping and praying for her nonetheless.

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I am still alive; I am so sorry for taking so long to respond. I hope no one thinks I was trying to ignore anyone... that's not it at all. I'm just feeling very sad, and needed to retreat for a while. I am feeling slightly better than I was earlier, but am nowhere near being okay. I will get through this though - what other choice is there? I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so sincere and taking the time to respond. I didn't mean to worry/upset anyone. I'm so sorry if I have. What everyone has written on here has given me the strength I needed to emotionally stabilize and pick myself back up. It's wonderful to know there are still so many beautiful people in this world.
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I am still alive; I am so sorry for taking so long to respond. I hope no one thinks I was trying to ignore anyone... that's not it at all. I'm just feeling very sad, and needed to retreat for a while. I am feeling slightly better than I was earlier, but am nowhere near being okay. I will get through this though - what other choice is there? I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so sincere and taking the time to respond. I didn't mean to worry/upset anyone. I'm so sorry if I have. What everyone has written on here has given me the strength I needed to emotionally stabilize and pick myself back up. It's wonderful to know there are still so many beautiful people in this world.

I'm SO glad to hear this...especially the part where you say you'll get through this. There's a lot of great advice that was offered here so here's hoping you take it to heart, and that things do get better for you...

 

Good thoughts are coming your way from a lot of good people here who have been touched by your story and who are rooting for you big time...

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I am still alive; I am so sorry for taking so long to respond. I hope no one thinks I was trying to ignore anyone... that's not it at all. I'm just feeling very sad, and needed to retreat for a while. I am feeling slightly better than I was earlier, but am nowhere near being okay. I will get through this though - what other choice is there? I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so sincere and taking the time to respond. I didn't mean to worry/upset anyone. I'm so sorry if I have. What everyone has written on here has given me the strength I needed to emotionally stabilize and pick myself back up. It's wonderful to know there are still so many beautiful people in this world.

I'm SO glad to hear this...especially the part where you say you'll get through this. There's a lot of great advice that was offered here so here's hoping you take it to heart, and that things do get better for you...

 

Good thoughts are coming your way from a lot of good people here who have been touched by your story and who are rooting for you big time...

Thank you so much, laughedatbytime. I really would love to respond to everyone, but I would be sitting here for quite a while. Maybe I'll be able to work on that tomorrow. I have a horrible headache, and I think a good night's rest will do me some good, not that I will be able to shut off my mind long enough to fall asleep.

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I am still alive; I am so sorry for taking so long to respond. I hope no one thinks I was trying to ignore anyone... that's not it at all. I'm just feeling very sad, and needed to retreat for a while. I am feeling slightly better than I was earlier, but am nowhere near being okay. I will get through this though - what other choice is there? I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so sincere and taking the time to respond. I didn't mean to worry/upset anyone. I'm so sorry if I have. What everyone has written on here has given me the strength I needed to emotionally stabilize and pick myself back up. It's wonderful to know there are still so many beautiful people in this world.

I'm SO glad to hear this...especially the part where you say you'll get through this. There's a lot of great advice that was offered here so here's hoping you take it to heart, and that things do get better for you...

 

Good thoughts are coming your way from a lot of good people here who have been touched by your story and who are rooting for you big time...

Thank you so much, laughedatbytime. I really would love to respond to everyone, but I would be sitting here for quite a while. Maybe I'll be able to work on that tomorrow. I have a horrible headache, and I think a good night's rest will do me some good, not that I will be able to shut off my mind long enough to fall asleep.

Getting some rest is a wonderful idea...good luck!

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I am still alive; I am so sorry for taking so long to respond. I hope no one thinks I was trying to ignore anyone... that's not it at all. I'm just feeling very sad, and needed to retreat for a while. I am feeling slightly better than I was earlier, but am nowhere near being okay. I will get through this though - what other choice is there? I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so sincere and taking the time to respond. I didn't mean to worry/upset anyone. I'm so sorry if I have. What everyone has written on here has given me the strength I needed to emotionally stabilize and pick myself back up. It's wonderful to know there are still so many beautiful people in this world.

I'm SO glad to hear this...especially the part where you say you'll get through this. There's a lot of great advice that was offered here so here's hoping you take it to heart, and that things do get better for you...

 

Good thoughts are coming your way from a lot of good people here who have been touched by your story and who are rooting for you big time...

Thank you so much, laughedatbytime. I really would love to respond to everyone, but I would be sitting here for quite a while. Maybe I'll be able to work on that tomorrow. I have a horrible headache, and I think a good night's rest will do me some good, not that I will be able to shut off my mind long enough to fall asleep.

Getting some rest is a wonderful idea...good luck!

Thank you. :)

 

I certainly need it. I am so overwhelmed with stress right now.

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