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Please, someone, I need help…


Moonlit Dreamer
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I just had the worst day of my life. My Mother is all I have, and I just had to watch her get taken to jail with several misdemeanor charges. My Dad is gone, and I have no one else. What am I going to do?! This house is in foreclosure and we have four weeks to move. I just want to die. Even my Geddy and my Jon (Yes) are not helping me right now. I’m shaking so much I am hardly capable of typing. I can’t take anymore! Why is my life so difficult?!

 

Please, I just need someone to talk to me, help me, something. I don’t care who you are.

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I'm here. I am at work though so I may not be able to get back to you right away. What the heck is happening? Don't you have any friends or family that can help you?
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I'm not good at this but it hurts just to read the pain in your post.

 

Thinking of you and hoping for a solution....

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Sorry to hear this. I looked at your profile and see you are 22. Such a young age to go through this but at least you're over 18 and not subject to the whims of the state. Similar thing happened to me at 17 (lost home and mom moved to over 55 community so I had to go). I foolishly felt the only recourse was military enlistment which is exactly what I did. I still regret doing that so my main suggestion is to try not to do anything rash. There are some options if you need help depending on what you need such as shelters, food assistance, etc. please keep checking in and let us know how you are doing.
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I just looked up a crisis center hotline. The number is 1-800-273-8255. Give them a call. I'm sure they can help. It also helps just to have someone to listen.

 

Yes please call them. Take it from somebody that had to a long-long time ago.

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Lorraine, Gangst, thank you. I was actually having a decent day, my Mom and I were planning on spending time together, which never happens. I should have known it was too good to be true! My Mom’s car has been running rough and she just had the fuel filter and two tires replaced today… I made the idiotic suggestion of hopping on I-95 to clear the engine out. Wouldn’t you know it, a sheriff was right there. So this is my fault basically. My Mom has an expired tag, expired license, no insurance. She’s already had a DUI, so she is in so much trouble right now. They towed her car away somewhere, and I have no idea where it is. I cannot even believe this. We have to find somewhere to go soon, and now all of this is on me, and my poor Mom is in jail. I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind. I gave her a hug before they put her in the cop car, and said, “Mom, I am so sorry. I’ll do what I can.” even though I know the best I can do right now isn’t enough to get by. This could not be any worse. We have so much stuff to move and pack. Alone this situation is difficult, because I love this house and don’t want to walk away. This is where my life began. I can’t do this anymore, I really, really, can’t. I tried contacting my step sister, who is officially dead to me now. I called her crying, and all she had to say was, “Well, what do you want me to do?” and had the nerve to laugh! What kind of sick human being laughs when they hear their Mother has been put in jail? When I say I have no one, I really mean that. I have no friends and no family besides my, well, she’s not a sister anymore. I’m done with her. I have tried so many times to be friends with her, and she just pushes me away like I’m garbage. I was just diagnosed with Hepatitis and have been feeling very ill on top of this. I wish life could disappear. I don’t even care if I’m making sense right now. My Father is deceased, and my Mother is in jail. My life is officially ruined. And no, I have no friends or other family. I can't remember if I've already said that or not.
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Lorraine, Gangst, thank you. I was actually having a decent day, my Mom and I were planning on spending time together, which never happens. I should have known it was too good to be true! My Mom’s car has been running rough and she just had the fuel filter and two tires replaced today… I made the idiotic suggestion of hopping on I-95 to clear the engine out. Wouldn’t you know it, a sheriff was right there. So this is my fault basically. My Mom has an expired tag, expired license, no insurance. She’s already had a DUI, so she is in so much trouble right now. They towed her car away somewhere, and I have no idea where it is. I cannot even believe this. We have to find somewhere to go soon, and now all of this is on me, and my poor Mom is in jail. I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind. I gave her a hug before they put her in the cop car, and said, “Mom, I am so sorry. I’ll do what I can.” even though I know the best I can do right now isn’t enough to get by. This could not be any worse. We have so much stuff to move and pack. Alone this situation is difficult, because I love this house and don’t want to walk away. This is where my life began. I can’t do this anymore, I really, really, can’t. I tried contacting my step sister, who is officially dead to me now. I called her crying, and all she had to say was, “Well, what do you want me to do?” and had the nerve to laugh! What kind of sick human being laughs when they hear their Mother has been put in jail? When I say I have no one, I really mean that. I have no friends and no family besides my, well, she’s not a sister anymore. I’m done with her. I have tried so many times to be friends with her, and she just pushes me away like I’m garbage. I was just diagnosed with Hepatitis and have been feeling very ill on top of this. I wish life could disappear. I don’t even care if I’m making sense right now. My Father is deceased, and my Mother is in jail. My life is officially ruined. And no, I have no friends or other family. I can't remember if I've already said that or not.

My heart breaks for you. Please call the hotline above...

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Listen, IR, above all - don't do anything rash or foolish. PLEASE!!!!!

 

Many here have been through things you are going through now and, hard as this may be for you to believe, I know there are some here who have been through worse.

 

Call that crisis hotline. They may have some type of immediate help available for you. Maybe they can even send someone over to you and help you calm down.

 

Your life is not ruined. It only seems that way to you now.

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Lorraine, Gangst, thank you. I was actually having a decent day, my Mom and I were planning on spending time together, which never happens. I should have known it was too good to be true! My Mom’s car has been running rough and she just had the fuel filter and two tires replaced today… I made the idiotic suggestion of hopping on I-95 to clear the engine out. Wouldn’t you know it, a sheriff was right there. So this is my fault basically. My Mom has an expired tag, expired license, no insurance. She’s already had a DUI, so she is in so much trouble right now. They towed her car away somewhere, and I have no idea where it is. I cannot even believe this. We have to find somewhere to go soon, and now all of this is on me, and my poor Mom is in jail. I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind. I gave her a hug before they put her in the cop car, and said, “Mom, I am so sorry. I’ll do what I can.” even though I know the best I can do right now isn’t enough to get by. This could not be any worse. We have so much stuff to move and pack. Alone this situation is difficult, because I love this house and don’t want to walk away. This is where my life began. I can’t do this anymore, I really, really, can’t. I tried contacting my step sister, who is officially dead to me now. I called her crying, and all she had to say was, “Well, what do you want me to do?” and had the nerve to laugh! What kind of sick human being laughs when they hear their Mother has been put in jail? When I say I have no one, I really mean that. I have no friends and no family besides my, well, she’s not a sister anymore. I’m done with her. I have tried so many times to be friends with her, and she just pushes me away like I’m garbage. I was just diagnosed with Hepatitis and have been feeling very ill on top of this. I wish life could disappear. I don’t even care if I’m making sense right now. My Father is deceased, and my Mother is in jail. My life is officially ruined. And no, I have no friends or other family. I can't remember if I've already said that or not.

 

No no no no no your life isn't ruined at 22 it's still getting started. Many of us here have survived similar events, trauma, etc.. This is just a small moment you need to deal with in the NOW. Okay so your step-sister is useless, get her out of the picture. I will tell you that sometimes people will just laugh as a reflex, it's normal, don't let it bother you. Take care of your health as much as you can, that is of the utmost importance for getting through this and will effect your mood and clarity. This isn't your fault, okay? Things happen and don't worry about your house. You will have other places to go, it's a material thing, let it go. I'm not telling you this to sound harsh. Just think about what your options are, what you can do, and how to get through this. You will have time to be sad later. Take a deep breath and organize your thoughts. I know (God don't I know) how hard it is, hard doesn't equal impossible okay?

Edited by gangsterfurious
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Listen, IR, above all - don't do anything rash or foolish. PLEASE!!!!!

 

Many here have been through things you are going through now and, hard as this may be for you to believe, I know there are some here who have been through worse.

 

Call that crisis hotline. They may have some type of immediate help available for you. Maybe they can even send someone over to you and help you calm down.

 

Your life is not ruined. It only seems that way to you now.

I am afraid to call. If anyone heard me or saw me right now, they would place me in a mental facility. What about my cats and my Mom's dog? OMG I can't believe this!

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Please call the hotline and tell them what u told us. As someone who has tried suicide twice and went through rehab for a major drug problem I know about how crappy life can be. But u need to know it will get better. It really will. Can u maybe call the local sherrif office and find out where they took the car? Hang in there. I'm thinking of u.
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Listen, IR, above all - don't do anything rash or foolish. PLEASE!!!!!

 

Many here have been through things you are going through now and, hard as this may be for you to believe, I know there are some here who have been through worse.

 

Call that crisis hotline. They may have some type of immediate help available for you. Maybe they can even send someone over to you and help you calm down.

 

Your life is not ruined. It only seems that way to you now.

I am afraid to call. If anyone heard me or saw me right now, they would place me in a mental facility. What about my cats and my Mom's dog? OMG I can't believe this!

 

 

No hotlines do not place you in a mental facility. They are there to help you so that you don't end up in one. They are there to help you.

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Listen, IR, above all - don't do anything rash or foolish. PLEASE!!!!!

 

Many here have been through things you are going through now and, hard as this may be for you to believe, I know there are some here who have been through worse.

 

Call that crisis hotline. They may have some type of immediate help available for you. Maybe they can even send someone over to you and help you calm down.

 

Your life is not ruined. It only seems that way to you now.

I am afraid to call. If anyone heard me or saw me right now, they would place me in a mental facility. What about my cats and my Mom's dog? OMG I can't believe this!

 

All right. I understand why you won't call.

 

Then it is up to you to grab hold of yourself and calm yourself down. If you stay the way you are, you won't be able to think straight.

 

It is not the end of the world for you, it only seems that way to you now.

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I just looked up a crisis center hotline. The number is 1-800-273-8255. Give them a call. I'm sure they can help. It also helps just to have someone to listen.

 

Here hun, this is the number she posted.

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No one puts u in a hospital or mental institution. But if u can't or won't call anyone, sit down and make a list of what is bothering u. It may help to have it on paper. Your cats and dog can go to a shelter where they can be put in a foster home until u get on your feet again. Take a deep breath and know u r loved.
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IR, I am sorry that you are going through this. First off, do not blame yourself for your mother getting pulled over and subsequently arrested. She's an adult and made the decision to drive a vehicle with an expired tag and no insurance on a suspended license. I also witnessed my mother being arrested once, but I was younger (about 15-16 if I remember correctly). She went on to commit even more crimes and did a stint in prison as well. She was a prescription drug addict and a habitual liar. None of those things were my fault, even though I was with her in the car when she was arrested the first time. I went on to have a wonderful son and a nearly 10 year career in law enforcement. Also, when I hit age 18 I was pretty much left on my own. Oh, my dad let me live in the house with him after he and my mother divorced, but I was responsible for everything else in my life. School, gas money, car repairs, food...everything. I managed. You can't let this pull you down. Find resources in your community to help you. Even if it's just emergency shelter or help with food. There are resources.

 

And, call the hotline. Maybe the person you get on the line will be able to help you find those resources. However, I will say that, as a police officer, I have been sent to check on people who call suicide or crisis hotlines. Hell, I've even taken many of those people into protective custody and placed them (with the assistance of medical professionals, of course) into psychiatric facilities for short periods of time (most stays in those situations are limited to 3-7 days). Guess what...that's what those hotlines are there for! If you are seriously thinking that you are a danger to yourself then please call. As far as the animals, many humane societies offer temporary housing (through their shelter or fosters) for animals displaced in times of crisis.

 

You've got this...make the call. If it saves your life, what's a few days in hospital to pull yourself together in the grand scheme of things? It might be the best thing you ever do for yourself. That's the worst that can happen. The best that can happen is that you get the help that you need to get through this tough situation. There is no shame in asking for help.

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No one puts u in a hospital or mental institution. But if u can't or won't call anyone, sit down and make a list of what is bothering u. It may help to have it on paper. Your cats and dog can go to a shelter where they can be put in a foster home until u get on your feet again. Take a deep breath and know u r loved.

 

Actually, if it's deemed that she is a danger to herself then yes...there will be a protective custody order put in place. Those are VERY temporary and rarely last beyond 3-7 days. Of course, that varies from state to state, but that's the average. Take it from someone that, as a police officer for 5 years, put well over 100 people into protective custody. And, I was a cop in a relatively small town. I have had MANY of those people get in touch with me and thank me for taking action. Many consider it the best thing they ever had happen to them. It's not a bad thing if she really needs help.

 

IR, if you don't want to talk to a hotline, message me and I will give you my phone number. I'm not a psychiatric professional, but I know the criteria that has to be met in most instances for people to be placed in protective custody. I will help you.

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What if things don’t work out though? What if I end up on the streets? I earn a total of $350 per month. Where’s that going to get me?! I’m trying to calm down, but I’m finding it difficult. I was in the living room standing in front of my Dad’s urn earlier, saying, “Dad, why did you drink yourself to death?! Why did you have to leave me?!” I mean, what if she’s in jail for months? I have never felt this horrible in my entire life. It’s ironic how when faced with a new tragedy, some other memories of the past do not seem as bad as they did then. My parents having violent fights and screaming at me about how useless I was? At least they were still here to yell. I can’t handle this constant loneliness. When is it ever going to get better for me? I mean really… this life is just ridiculous now. I’m listening to Red Sector A right now, and wow, the lyrics have a new meaning to me now…
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