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Need Someone To Talk To Here


RushFlyer2112
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents.

 

This is true. I'd love to be able to go back in time just in order to whitewash my opinion of my parents, but that won't happen. I'll make the best of whatever I can now, but...well, they don't make it easy. For example, I would at least appreciate it if they wanted to spend time with their grandchildren a little more, but I can't force them. We all live within about 20 minutes of each other, and we get together a few times a year, holidays included.

 

Lorraine, I don't know what you're going through, but you're welcome to send a PM, if I might be able to help.

 

Lyndsey, I think you're a lovely person, and all I can say is don't let those people rent that space in your head- it's just not worth it! That space is yours, and yours alone. I had problems with that for a time, but that's something I've gotten beyond, for the most part.

 

Narpet, brother- you're a good man. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

 

Be well, everybody.

Thanks man. I would never say something to hurt anyone intentionally friend or not to be honest. I have realized finally that when it comes to parents and the subject that I need to keep my big yap shut. My experience was wonderful (my parents) and I think I was and am a damn good parent as well. You would have to ask my children to be sure.... :)
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Are you talking about parent disapproval? If so, it is not so much that I get it, but that I vividly remember it and I am positive that it has subconsciously affected me throughout my life, because no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I never measured up nor could I make my mother proud of me. I was the child not to be warmly loved, but the one to be coldly tolerated.

 

I totally get this. For me it was dad instead of my mom though. I could never do quite well enough. 6 A's and and B on my report card, dad would say why did you get a B? There two ways to do things growing up: his way and the wrong way. Unfortunately I still do that sometimes to my kids, but I try not to. Those things are hard to outgrow sometimes. It still affects my sometimes and I HATE it. I have trouble talking to my dad to this day and Ia m 47 years old.

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I am very sorry about everyone loss today as I miss you all alot!!!!

 

Hey, RushFlyer...we're all just talking. Yeah, the subject matter might be sort of a downer, but life is not all roses and rainbows and lollipops, as we all know.

 

I'm having a really good day today, though. (Well, so far. I realize, it's still early). :D

 

I hope you're well, too!

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Are you talking about parent disapproval? If so, it is not so much that I get it, but that I vividly remember it and I am positive that it has subconsciously affected me throughout my life, because no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I never measured up nor could I make my mother proud of me. I was the child not to be warmly loved, but the one to be coldly tolerated.

 

I totally get this. For me it was dad instead of my mom though. I could never do quite well enough. 6 A's and and B on my report card, dad would say why did you get a B? There two ways to do things growing up: his way and the wrong way. Unfortunately I still do that sometimes to my kids, but I try not to. Those things are hard to outgrow sometimes. It still affects my sometimes and I HATE it. I have trouble talking to my dad to this day and Ia m 47 years old.

 

I make a point of learning from lots of things my parents did (and still do) in the sense that I take stock of it and say to myself, OK, this is an example of something DON'T want to do to my kids. Yep, I totally understand where you're coming from.

 

I love my parents all the same...but sometimes, you know...

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Are you talking about parent disapproval? If so, it is not so much that I get it, but that I vividly remember it and I am positive that it has subconsciously affected me throughout my life, because no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I never measured up nor could I make my mother proud of me. I was the child not to be warmly loved, but the one to be coldly tolerated.

 

I totally get this. For me it was dad instead of my mom though. I could never do quite well enough. 6 A's and and B on my report card, dad would say why did you get a B? There two ways to do things growing up: his way and the wrong way. Unfortunately I still do that sometimes to my kids, but I try not to. Those things are hard to outgrow sometimes. It still affects my sometimes and I HATE it. I have trouble talking to my dad to this day and Ia m 47 years old.

 

You know, although I didn't experience this I have seen it...

 

The manager of a firm I once worked at had two daughters. Both employed with the company and his favouritism for one daughter over another was obvious and, frankly, disgusting. Not only did he display it in front of the staff but in front of his least favoured daughter as well.

 

Both were spoilt little whatsits but I always got on far better with the least favoured one.

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I am very sorry about everyone loss today as I miss you all alot!!!!

 

Hey, RushFlyer...we're all just talking. Yeah, the subject matter might be sort of a downer, but life is not all roses and rainbows and lollipops, as we all know.

 

I'm having a really good day today, though. (Well, so far. I realize, it's still early). :D

 

I hope you're well, too!

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Are you talking about parent disapproval? If so, it is not so much that I get it, but that I vividly remember it and I am positive that it has subconsciously affected me throughout my life, because no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I never measured up nor could I make my mother proud of me. I was the child not to be warmly loved, but the one to be coldly tolerated.

 

I totally get this. For me it was dad instead of my mom though. I could never do quite well enough. 6 A's and and B on my report card, dad would say why did you get a B? There two ways to do things growing up: his way and the wrong way. Unfortunately I still do that sometimes to my kids, but I try not to. Those things are hard to outgrow sometimes. It still affects my sometimes and I HATE it. I have trouble talking to my dad to this day and Ia m 47 years old.

 

That is it exactly, except with me, it was my mother. She was so exacting and put such pressure on me that I started to stutter in the first grade. The pediatrician had to put me on some kind of pills. Thankfully, I stutter didn't last long.

 

And as for you not doing the same with your children but not being able to help yourself doing it, don't be too hard or beat yourself up over that. That is all you knew as a child/adolescent; how can you be expected to do otherwise yourself? Being aware of it though helps immensely because you can catch yourself.

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