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RushFlyer2112
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....people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help.

 

Can't speak for the rest, but yeah, the people treating me like a disease is something I'm familiar with...

 

 

Ok, this might sound weird, but sometimes, when I'm pottering about doing stuff, it's like I get this thing where I can still see their faces in my minds eye.

 

As if the ghosts of my past are still watching....

 

For example I'd be practicing my flute and I make a mistake and in my minds eye they're there smirking.

 

It doesn't happen all the time and I know they're not there, they're just in my mind.

 

Anybody else get that?

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Are you talking about parent disapproval? If so, it is not so much that I get it, but that I vividly remember it and I am positive that it has subconsciously affected me throughout my life, because no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I never measured up nor could I make my mother proud of me. I was the child not to be warmly loved, but the one to be coldly tolerated.
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(
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Then maybe you should have kept it to yourself, Narp.

 

I'm really pissed right now. I'm going through a really hard time, and the last thing I need is to be curtly dismissed like Lyndsey dismissed me, and some insensitive comment like yours.

 

Everyone else comes on here with problems and gets stroked.

 

This is the last time I ever open up.

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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents.

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You misread me completely. I would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or unintentionally for that matter. I have seen alot of that kind of discussion and postings lately and I was just posting my observation and maybe a discussion would ensue or not. I thought we had a closer relationship than that. It was nothing personal I promise you... Edited by Narpski
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents.

It was just a statement. I don't doubt it to be true. I give up..... Edited by Narpski
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents.

It was just a statement. I don't doubt it to be true. I give up.....

I was actually trying to be sensitive and empathetic believe it or not ! Notice the sad face...
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does sadden me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

Fixed some :( Edited by Narpski
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You misread me completely. I would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or unintentionally for that matter. I have seen alot of that kind of discussion and postings lately and I was just posting my observation and maybe a discussion would ensue or not. I thought we had a closer relationship than that. It was nothing personal I promise you...

 

I've also had posts taken in the opposite way they were meant myself in the past, and I know how it feels to have that happen.

 

I am sorry I misunderstood what you were attempting to say.

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You misread me completely. I would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or unintentionally for that matter. I have seen alot of that kind of discussion and postings lately and I was just posting my observation and maybe a discussion would ensue or not. I thought we had a closer relationship than that. It was nothing personal I promise you...

 

I've also had posts taken in the opposite way they were meant myself in the past, and I know how it feels to have that happen.

 

I am sorry I misunderstood what you were attempting to say.

:cheers: You are special to me and I would guess many others around here. Thanks for understanding that I intended no harm.... :rose:
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Then maybe you should have kept it to yourself, Narp.

 

I'm really pissed right now. I'm going through a really hard time, and the last thing I need is to be curtly dismissed like Lyndsey dismissed me, and some insensitive comment like yours.

 

Everyone else comes on here with problems and gets stroked.

 

This is the last time I ever open up.

 

Woah, woah!!

 

No, no! I never ever meant it to come out as a dismissal!!

 

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings hun, it's just that's not what I was getting at!!

 

I was just saying more about bullies than disapproving parents, but I concede they could be included in this.

 

I'm sorry!

Edited by LyndseyG
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This statement is not meant to be critical of anybody but it does amaze me how many folks think so little of their parents for many different reasons..... :(

 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents.

 

This is true. I'd love to be able to go back in time just in order to whitewash my opinion of my parents, but that won't happen. I'll make the best of whatever I can now, but...well, they don't make it easy. For example, I would at least appreciate it if they wanted to spend time with their grandchildren a little more, but I can't force them. We all live within about 20 minutes of each other, and we get together a few times a year, holidays included.

 

Lorraine, I don't know what you're going through, but you're welcome to send a PM, if I might be able to help.

 

Lyndsey, I think you're a lovely person, and all I can say is don't let those people rent that space in your head- it's just not worth it! That space is yours, and yours alone. I had problems with that for a time, but that's something I've gotten beyond, for the most part.

 

Narpet, brother- you're a good man. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

 

Be well, everybody.

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Thank you Blue J, that means a lot. :hug2:

 

I try ignoring it and does pass after a while.

 

I think it has something to do with my self esteem or something.... Telling me I'm no good, and using those faces of past bullies as some sort of justification...

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Thank you Blue J, that means a lot. :hug2:

 

I try ignoring it and does pass after a while.

 

I think it has something to do with my self esteem or something.... Telling me I'm no good, and using those faces of past bullies as some sort of justification...

 

:hug2:

 

Well, I tinker with my acoustic guitar, and I don't need anyone to tell me I'm no good, hahaha...I'll play a few songs here and there, just for myself, and that's good enough for me. I didn't take it up because I wanted everyone else to hear it; it's something I do just for myself.

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As for the parent thing I think you guys make a good point.

 

My mum used to be.... An angry person. She never drank or beat us up. She used to smack us if we were naughty but apart from that, she'd just shout or scream. She had this certain tone of voice she used when she was REALLY pissed. It would terrify the crap outta me.

 

My dad was more reserved. He had a way that was very calming to my mum. He was her support and her rock.

 

He passed away 20 years ago in May. She's been on anti depressants ever since. She's totally different person now. Much more laid back and carefree. She admitted to me once that "I used to be a cow back then."

 

There's many, many things but the 2 really big ones that I can think of right now...

 

I've mentioned before about a very best friend who did a 180 degree turn on me and threatened me with violence. It's on another thread. When I got home and told my mum what happened her response was "Well? What do you expect me to do about it? If I go down to the school and have a rant about it they'll beat you up as soon as I turn away!" I didn't care about being beaten up, it would've shown she cared enough to try.

 

The second time was when my sister came out. I wasn't there for the fight, sis told me after. Apparently it was epic. It was ironic really as both my parents guessed years ago that she might be gay.

 

But my experiences of my childhood aren't as bad as other peoples.

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Thank you Blue J, that means a lot. :hug2:

 

I try ignoring it and does pass after a while.

 

I think it has something to do with my self esteem or something.... Telling me I'm no good, and using those faces of past bullies as some sort of justification...

 

:hug2:

 

Well, I tinker with my acoustic guitar, and I don't need anyone to tell me I'm no good, hahaha...I'll play a few songs here and there, just for myself, and that's good enough for me. I didn't take it up because I wanted everyone else to hear it; it's something I do just for myself.

 

I'm like that. I play because I enjoy it. :)

 

The thing is, I know that since I took the flute back up I'm a much improved flautist.

 

I just used my flute practice as an example. It doesn't always happen there either... Sometimes it's when I'm washing up or knitting...

 

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As for the parent thing I think you guys make a good point.

 

My mum used to be.... An angry person. She never drank or beat us up. She used to smack us if we were naughty but apart from that, she'd just shout or scream. She had this certain tone of voice she used when she was REALLY pissed. It would terrify the crap outta me.

 

My dad was more reserved. He had a way that was very calming to my mum. He was her support and her rock.

 

He passed away 20 years ago in May. She's been on anti depressants ever since. She's totally different person now. Much more laid back and carefree. She admitted to me once that "I used to be a cow back then."

 

There's many, many things but the 2 really big ones that I can think of right now...

 

I've mentioned before about a very best friend who did a 180 degree turn on me and threatened me with violence. It's on another thread. When I got home and told my mum what happened her response was "Well? What do you expect me to do about it? If I go down to the school and have a rant about it they'll beat you up as soon as I turn away!" I didn't care about being beaten up, it would've shown she cared enough to try.

 

The second time was when my sister came out. I wasn't there for the fight, sis told me after. Apparently it was epic. It was ironic really as both my parents guessed years ago that she might be gay.

 

But my experiences of my childhood aren't as bad as other peoples.

 

Ahh, my mother drinks a lot, and is self-absorbed. And my dad is just self-absorbed.

 

My sister came out, too- to my mother, over the phone, at 3:00 AM on the night before I got married. (How's that for timing?) But she only had one relationship with a woman, for about a year and a half. And then she went back to men. But she never had a whole lot of success there, either. She died about five and a half years ago, from a combination of pills and alcohol- not an intentional overdose, but just enough was in her system to stop her heart. It really threw me; she and I were soulmates.

 

Oh, and I'm an alcoholic, but recovered.

 

Mmmm, life is grand, innit!? :)

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As for the parent thing I think you guys make a good point.

 

My mum used to be.... An angry person. She never drank or beat us up. She used to smack us if we were naughty but apart from that, she'd just shout or scream. She had this certain tone of voice she used when she was REALLY pissed. It would terrify the crap outta me.

 

My dad was more reserved. He had a way that was very calming to my mum. He was her support and her rock.

 

He passed away 20 years ago in May. She's been on anti depressants ever since. She's totally different person now. Much more laid back and carefree. She admitted to me once that "I used to be a cow back then."

 

There's many, many things but the 2 really big ones that I can think of right now...

 

I've mentioned before about a very best friend who did a 180 degree turn on me and threatened me with violence. It's on another thread. When I got home and told my mum what happened her response was "Well? What do you expect me to do about it? If I go down to the school and have a rant about it they'll beat you up as soon as I turn away!" I didn't care about being beaten up, it would've shown she cared enough to try.

 

The second time was when my sister came out. I wasn't there for the fight, sis told me after. Apparently it was epic. It was ironic really as both my parents guessed years ago that she might be gay.

 

But my experiences of my childhood aren't as bad as other peoples.

 

Ahh, my mother drinks a lot, and is self-absorbed. And my dad is just self-absorbed.

 

My sister came out, too- to my mother, over the phone, at 3:00 AM on the night before I got married. (How's that for timing?) But she only had one relationship with a woman, for about a year and a half. And then she went back to men. But she never had a whole lot of success there, either. She died about five and a half years ago, from a combination of pills and alcohol- not an intentional overdose, but just enough was in her system to stop her heart. It really threw me; she and I were soulmates.

 

Oh, and I'm an alcoholic, but recovered.

 

Mmmm, life is grand, innit!? :)

 

I'm sorry for your loss, hun! :rose: :hug2:

 

It's weird with my mum on the antidepressants because I feel that she should be off the meds but don't want her to go back to being the angry person she was before.

 

She has tried coming of them but the withdrawal makes her feel so bad that the doctors put her straight back on them.

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