Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help.I know that feeling all too well. I was physically and emotionally tormented as a child and lost my Dad to alcoholism. Iâll never understand why bad things happen, and why itâs usually the good people who suffer. The way I look at it is I must be much stronger than I give myself credit for, otherwise I wouldnât have chosen to acknowledge it. They say that the body has a certain pain tolerance, and I believe that applies to the mind as well. You can only take so much before you become numb to reality. Iâve reached that stage many times, believe me. I know it may not always feel like it at times, but there are people out there that care and are willing to help. Edited March 24, 2014 by Intermolecular Reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crimsonfrippy Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014  Hugs for everybody. Cheers, frippy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushFlyer2112 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Hello and thanks you again IR!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it? Edited March 24, 2014 by Lorraine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushFlyer2112 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Awww that's so sweet of you Lorraine miss ya 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences. Edited March 24, 2014 by Intermolecular Reality 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help. Babycat, you appear to deal with it well as I would never have guessed this about you at all. We all fight inner darkness. I think that's why many of us relate to well to The Pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Awww that's so sweet of you Lorraine miss ya Good thread, RushFlyer! Thanks for starting it! :ebert: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangsterfurious Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. Yes, I've learned that lesson the hard way. People don't really want to know what's going on, it's just a nicety of polite society. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. Yes, I've learned that lesson the hard way. People don't really want to know what's going on, it's just a nicety of polite society. I despise small talk as it is, and I wish that society would dispense with the meaningless niceties such as "How's your day going?" or "Have a nice day!". I could do without them. The person asking doesn't really care, so what's the point? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. Yes, I've learned that lesson the hard way. People don't really want to know what's going on, it's just a nicety of polite society. I saw this earlier today:  to you all. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help. Babycat, you appear to deal with it well as I would never have guessed this about you at all. We all fight inner darkness. I think that's why many of us relate to well to The Pass.  I have a lot of moments where it's quite hard to get out of such darkness. It stems from when I was about 5 years old. And my mother drank like a fish while carrying me. Her death hit me so hard I wanted to kill myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help. Babycat, you appear to deal with it well as I would never have guessed this about you at all. We all fight inner darkness. I think that's why many of us relate to well to The Pass.  I have a lot of moments where it's quite hard to get out of such darkness. It stems from when I was about 5 years old. And my mother drank like a fish while carrying me. Her death hit me so hard I wanted to kill myself. But you didn't, and I am certain I'm not the only one here that is happy you decided to turn around and "walk the razor's edge." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushFlyer2112 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Aww man BabyCat I am so very sorry about this in your life sweetheart and Lorraine is right I think that so many of us relate to "The Pass" cuz it is so very true in that song and I am so glad that Neil Peart wrote it and that Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson (and Neil) performed this song 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushFlyer2112 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 And thanks you again Lorraine!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help. Babycat, you appear to deal with it well as I would never have guessed this about you at all. We all fight inner darkness. I think that's why many of us relate to well to The Pass.  I have a lot of moments where it's quite hard to get out of such darkness. It stems from when I was about 5 years old. And my mother drank like a fish while carrying me. Her death hit me so hard I wanted to kill myself. But you didn't, and I am certain I'm not the only one here that is happy you decided to turn around and "walk the razor's edge." Aww man BabyCat I am so very sorry about this in your life sweetheart and Lorraine is right I think that so many of us relate to "The Pass" cuz it is so very true in that song and I am so glad that Neil Peart wrote it and that Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson (and Neil) performed this song Thank you both... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangsterfurious Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 How many people here would consider themselves introverts? *raises hand* 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again.I can relate to that. Even when I have tried to speak to counselors and psychologists about whatâs bothering me Iâve had responses such as âIâm a scientist. I donât think youâre being entirely honest here. What youâre telling me could be true, but seems highly unlikely.â After pouring my heart out to the guy and explaining to him how I seriously believed everything thatâs wrong in this life was my fault, he said, âWow, you are a very powerful person.â and proceeded to discuss the stock market trends, which is something I have no knowledge of or interest in. I had enough negative energy built up from his remarks I could have thrown that manâs desk clear across the room and beyond. I kept all of it to myself though, and kept my comments to myself. When I got home I slammed the front door so hard I actually cracked the door frame. My poor cats were terrified, and I felt really bad after I did that, but that just really got on my nerves. Even people who are supposed to help you donât give a damn. Edited March 24, 2014 by Intermolecular Reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 How many people here would consider themselves introverts? *raises hand*Â No. Not me. I've become so because of all of the times I have been deeply hurt by those I trusted the most. Too many times over nearly six decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. Yes, I've learned that lesson the hard way. People don't really want to know what's going on, it's just a nicety of polite society. I despise small talk as it is, and I wish that society would dispense with the meaningless niceties such as "How's your day going?" or "Have a nice day!". I could do without them. The person asking doesn't really care, so what's the point?Yeah, it annoys me sometimes when people smile and say âWhat a gorgeous day today!â I know theyâre just being nice, but all I can think is âRight, if you only knew.â 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again.I can relate to that. Even when I have tried to speak to counselors and psychologists about whatâs bothering me Iâve had responses such as âIâm a scientist. I donât think youâre being entirely honest here. What youâre telling me could be true, be seems highly unlikely.â After pouring my heart out to the guy and explaining to him how I seriously believed everything thatâs wrong in this life was my fault, he said, âWow, you are a very powerful person.â and proceeded to discuss the stock market trends, which is something I have no knowledge of or interest in. I had enough negative energy built up from his remarks I could have thrown that manâs desk clear across the room and beyond. I kept all of it to myself though, and kept my comments to myself. When I got home I slammed the front door so hard I actually cracked the door frame. My poor cats were terrified, and I felt really bad after I did that, but that just really got on my nerves. Even people who are supposed to help you donât give a damn. Shrinks and counselors don't care. They don't get paid to care. They get paid to listen to you. And most of them don't even do that well.  There's nothing worse than pouring your heart out to someone and realize that the person not only doesn't care, but isn't even really listening to you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I don't think I've ever posted this before, but there have been a fair number of times when I feel down a lot. Sometimes I just want to disappear, other times I want to curl up and die. I've felt like this for a long, long time, this cold and empty feeling, since I was a child. An alcoholic parent and people treating me like I was a disease didn't exactly help. Babycat, you appear to deal with it well as I would never have guessed this about you at all. We all fight inner darkness. I think that's why many of us relate to well to The Pass.  I have a lot of moments where it's quite hard to get out of such darkness. It stems from when I was about 5 years old. And my mother drank like a fish while carrying me. Her death hit me so hard I wanted to kill myself.I feel that way about my Dad sometimes. Some days I lose track of whatâs fact and fiction anymore. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangsterfurious Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again. Yes, I've learned that lesson the hard way. People don't really want to know what's going on, it's just a nicety of polite society. I despise small talk as it is, and I wish that society would dispense with the meaningless niceties such as "How's your day going?" or "Have a nice day!". I could do without them. The person asking doesn't really care, so what's the point?Yeah, it annoys me sometimes when people smile and say âWhat a gorgeous day today!â I know theyâre just being nice, but all I can think is âRight, if you only knew.â People who talk about the weather must want me to punch them in the head lol. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlit Dreamer Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Rushflyer, you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you only knew how often this place is the only bright light in my life. TRF must go on forever. What would many of us do without it?Hello :), I've been wondering how you were. Yes, it should. Without this site I would have absolutely no social interaction with other people, aside from the occasional "Hi, how are you?" I always respond with "Good, fine." when that really isn't true. I think that's just an attempt to avoid further conversation, because I assume they wouldn't understand or care. Here you can tell that people genuinely care and many people share the same feelings and experiences.Yes, I know well what you mean. One time I attempted to give an honest answer to one of the "Hi! How are you?" inquiries. Never again.I can relate to that. Even when I have tried to speak to counselors and psychologists about whatâs bothering me Iâve had responses such as âIâm a scientist. I donât think youâre being entirely honest here. What youâre telling me could be true, be seems highly unlikely.â After pouring my heart out to the guy and explaining to him how I seriously believed everything thatâs wrong in this life was my fault, he said, âWow, you are a very powerful person.â and proceeded to discuss the stock market trends, which is something I have no knowledge of or interest in. I had enough negative energy built up from his remarks I could have thrown that manâs desk clear across the room and beyond. I kept all of it to myself though, and kept my comments to myself. When I got home I slammed the front door so hard I actually cracked the door frame. My poor cats were terrified, and I felt really bad after I did that, but that just really got on my nerves. Even people who are supposed to help you donât give a damn. Shrinks and counselors don't care. They don't get paid to care. They get paid to listen to you. And most of them don't even do that well.  There's nothing worse than pouring your heart out to someone and realize that the person not only doesn't care, but isn't even really listening to you.Exactly. Their main concern is getting paid and seeing how well they are able to drug you to the point of not even being yourself anymore. When someone completely ignores you like that, it makes you feel much worse than you did to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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